IMPOSTOR SPEAR FISHING
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IMPOSTOR SPEAR FISHING

August 14, 2019


I wonder where Aleks is. Oh, that’s me! I’m Aleks, I’m Aleks! That’s me… Aleksander! I’m Aleks! What the fuuck! That’s kind of fucked up, dude. He’s your boss. Give him a better impersonation. I hurt my balls doing that. Go ahead and intro. Welcome back to The Problematic Zone™! Topical… Political humor. Is there political? //exhales You go first. No, I want you to go first. Let’s talk home defense. You’ve seen these assault rifle bans, right? what the f- Is that a harpoon gun? Don’t point that at me! Don’t worry I think the safety’s on… No, it’s not. That can kill a man! You’re making our camera people a little nervous! Basically, you use this… I’m – I’m thinking… I want you to be able to defend yourself in the case of a home intruder, and also participate… In sports! ’cause you are fat. Alright man, that was rude. That was a rude way to intro that bit. I got some targets… Let’s go shooting! I don’t remember Aleks being this fucking awkward. //SLAM Okay… So you’re at home… …roleplay. You’re in bed. You’re in bed, you’re relaxing. You hear a… -I love fortnite
..big knock at the door! //CRASH I love Fortnite so much. oh just… Getting those kills in Fortnite. It didn’t wake you up? lo…i just lo… That knock didn’t wake you up? …my dog’s got diabetes. A little creepy man… comes in your home. …a steppy… …a steppy… …a steppy. …he leans over… …you sleeping… …and he points his gun… What are you gonna do, dude? I love Fortnite. Is someone opening some alcohol? …you’re underage. that coca-cola’s really spicy… IS SOMEONE TRYING TO STEAL MY… …what does he have? YOU-TUBE GOLD PLAY BUTTON? stand back! This is a good gift, I like this gift alot! You can also use it for fishing! You got some fish? //rustles //crunches go fishing. Oh! I need to catch some goldfish for my… for – to survive out in the wilderness of this… …bleak warehouse! Jesus fucking Christ he’s swinging that I found one! //claps You got it, dude!
-Did i get it?! You nailed it! Now I can survive the winter You ever play on a playground as a little kid? No, my dad left me. Or he died? Well come over here, I’ll give you uh… I’ll give you the experience you never had. This… …is an industrial teeter totter. No, you sit on it. It doesn’t feel very industrial. Come let’s – let’s sit. You ever do this as a kid? Now it’s a certified-… You call me the fat one! You still weigh more than *burp* me If I weighed more than you then you wouldn’t have… fucking… AH! FUCK! my balls dude -Fucking bitch this is the second time already, in this one fucking video, my fucking balls dude. -Sit back down! Where’s the spicy water? //bottle pop //sniff //throat noises -Yeah, thats spicy water How do you actually use this?
-We reach equilibrium. Like, am I supposed to put pressure? Uh! No, you’re supposed to get me down. //burp Ah fuck! //grunts uh oh. this fucking sucks dude This is fucking garbage… uh oh! ooh nice! do Do a push-up off it! Do a handstand off it! i’m trying Oh fuck my-! Whew! It’s getting pretty wild down in the warehouse! I didn’t want to take a harpoon bolt to the chest, so I came up here to the safety of the rooftop, to talk about today’s sponsor, Upsie.com. What’s the worst part about buying a new piece of electronics? Maybe you’re about to buy that new TV, a new smartphone, you get to the register, you’re ready to check out, the salesman starts pressuring you. “Hey, you want that two year warranty?” “Hey, you want that three year warranty?” “Come on, you know you wanna backup this new product.” “Don’t you care? you’re gonna accidentally drop it on the ground as soon as you leave the store, and then where will you be?” What if there was a simpler way? Without those heavy markups, of like, 900% margins, on in-store warranties. How about a simple app on your phone? that keeps track of all the receipts, so, y’know, 6 months 2 years from now you’re not looking for that Best Buy receipt, trying to figure out what happened. Well that’s where Upsie.com comes in. Upsie is the best electronics warranty on the market. Saving you up to 70% versus retailers. Better prices, transparency, and service, than any other warranty plans. Like Samsung, Apple, Geeksquad, and Squaretrade. Upsie makes the claims process easier. They keep all warranty information stored in one place, so no more looking for receipts when you need to make a claim. They provide exceptional customer service, and 24/7/365 claims. You can protect your TV’s, laptops, digital cameras, gaming consoles, smart watches, appliances, and more! Upsie features the same quality coverage that’s sold by other providers, but at a 50-90% discount over traditional prices, depending on the product. A simple, intuitive interface for browsing, comparing, and buying warranty plans for hundreds of products. Tracking reminder features on the app catalog all your warranty purchases, receipts, and claim instructions while sending prompt notifications of expiring coverage. And terms and conditions in plain English, that clearly explain your coverage limitations claim processes, and exclusions, so there are no surprises. LISTEN Rather than making those impulse buys at the register, go to Upsie, take up to 45 days, on your purchases, or smartphones, or other devices, and you can and you can be like HM Do I want a little extra coverage on this television? Well I work here at Cow Chop, and the TV’s going to fall on the floor within… 5 minutes of me, y’know setting it where it’s going to go. Maybe that is a good idea. …ok? It’s the comfort and freedom of making those decisions, getting better prices, all at Upsie.com. And, you can save 10% off of your first purchase on Upsie.com, by using the link in our description, use our code: And save 10% off on that first piece of coverage, for whatever device you want to take care of. Upsie. Making it simpler, and sponsoring Amazon Prime Time, There’s a bee on the roof, so I’m going to go back down, and wade into danger! Here we go! //Sigh ‘Natural Vaccaria Ear Seeds …on self adhesive patches.’ It was supposed to be acupuncture, cause of your bad back. I wanted to help you. but it didn’t come with any needles… Acupuncture? Yeah.. How does that help with a bad back? The ch- The Chinese are very smart. //sniff //sigh Why do I fuck up everything? Such a fuck up… …I never do anything… …right. These things on patches are supposed to go like in your ear, I guess? Okay, I put it in my ear, what happens now? Did it say to put it in your ear? They’re called ear seeds, I just assumed. Well, you see, they included this… …ancient… …chart. This ancient scripture. Which says which portion of the ear, will channel the most energy to your soul. My soul… So let’s see, what do you… What do you want, external genitals? or internal genitals? I guess external. okay. Let me just apply some anaesthetic. And then we’ll just go in raw. cool… Also, put some anaesthetic in my mouth. cool Now let me see your cock. It’s gone! That my friend, is a twelve-foot beach ball. And you didn’t blow it up? No, I figured we’d save that. do you know how long this is going to take? we have an air compressor! From a previous episode. of Amazon! Here, I’ll… …Let’s do it. I’m chaotic Go do a funny bit while I do this. Matt, do you know what to do with this? Geez //sigh You done? Hang on! Shut the fuck up. Don’t worry, this is going to be really worth it! Okay. There she goes. I have an idea, what’s up? How about we pop my item, while this is happening? pop your item? Let’s open it up. Okay! You know what this show’s missing? Quality? A theme song! This little piano here… …can not only play, but record and play back! Your keys, and notes. Are you fucking shitting me? Whoa, is that like a dance pad- Dude, you do that with your feet! that’s awesome! Oh, my god. Dude, let’s play chopsticks- like in that movie, like yeah, Let’s make a theme song. I’ll do the lower notes, you do the upper notes, ok? I think we should go with a… …A trumpet. ♫Amazon♫ ♫Amazon show♫ ♫It’s so funny♫ ♫It’s the best♫ ♫ ♫a ♫ama ♫amazon ♫amazon show♫ ♫everybody ♫everybody laughs at it♫ ♫ ♫i ♫i am not ♫i am not sad♫ ♫ ♫im ♫im really ♫im really ha♫ ♫im really happy♫ -Key change! ♫ ♫i ♫i sleep ♫i sleep every ♫i sleep every night♫ ♫with no ♫with no nightmares♫ ♫ ♫not ♫not even ♫not even one♫ ♫I love Amazon♫ ♫Amazon show and the website♫ I like that actually, that was pretty good.
-Nailed it Aleks: I love you, dude. James: I wish I could say the same, you fucking little bitch. Hey, I think that’s about done! Beachball, dude! ow. It’s twelve feet. Do you think you could, jump on top of this? like, get on the table and jump on top of it? I mean, not from there, clearly, silly. why dont you get on top of it Because this is your gift! why dont you get on top of it Okay, you hold it. Then it’s going to roll away, and every – everybody will be really sad. Are you letting the air out? ow, my back! fucking stupid… …fucking little piece of shit! You better get away from this right now, Jakob! Thanks for watching this episode of Amazon, it was a very special one. Because it was not like a normal one. If you enjoyed this video, or didn’t enjoy this video, check out this one, it’s probably better. As well as check the description for Patreon, -Oh fuck my knees Patreon, Reddit, Twitter, uh- and the merchandise store where you can support us by purchasing clothing. Thank you for watching.

100 Comments

  • Reply Erica Galvez April 19, 2018 at 1:01 am

    Asher and James are my top two so this is something I've only dreamed of happening

  • Reply Courtney Ladner April 19, 2018 at 1:47 am

    this is what you guys are calling amazon prime time?

  • Reply SharkySparky April 19, 2018 at 2:11 am

    3:36 HOLY Shit…

  • Reply Dogene April 19, 2018 at 3:26 am

    Wow, Asher even put on weight for the James role. Cow Chop really cares about consistency

  • Reply Teriyaki Kush April 19, 2018 at 6:41 am

    holy shit asher fell so fucking hard

  • Reply minedad April 19, 2018 at 6:42 am

    8:06 Not sure if said in character.

  • Reply batt3ryac1d April 19, 2018 at 9:46 am

    How did we never notice Aleks was black. It's like Asian Jim all over again.

  • Reply batt3ryac1d April 19, 2018 at 10:01 am

    Someone make sure Brett locks that harpoon gun in his office or something….

  • Reply DeusPeleus April 19, 2018 at 12:08 pm

    Spot on.

  • Reply Irela Lita April 19, 2018 at 4:32 pm

    The way Asher said what the fuck was so accurate to james omfg

  • Reply MattIsLoling April 19, 2018 at 5:24 pm

    Asher wears shoes i'd expect to see on a mentally handicapped middle schooler

  • Reply Squishy Dea April 19, 2018 at 6:14 pm

    Dude Aleks finally lost some fucking weight. It's about time.

  • Reply snipple April 20, 2018 at 12:09 am

    FINGER. OFF. THE. TRIGGER.

  • Reply nachosNapples April 20, 2018 at 3:36 am

    brett needs to calm down on that advertisement

  • Reply MasterAquatics April 20, 2018 at 3:56 am

    You ever play in a playground? No! MY dad left me!

  • Reply MasterAquatics April 20, 2018 at 4:08 am

    so I just found this channel and I like the content! Super hilarious but whats up with that guy pointing that spear gun at people? Not a very good first impression but I'll sub. Hopefully they never do that again.

  • Reply Jaicob Arndt April 20, 2018 at 1:50 pm

    10:50

  • Reply Bertegue 5 April 20, 2018 at 5:47 pm

    Aleks' singing sounds like a broken ice machine.

  • Reply D B April 21, 2018 at 2:11 am

    WHY IS BRET YELLING AT US ABOUT INSURANCE

  • Reply isaiah ratigan April 21, 2018 at 9:40 am

    I'm disappointed that Aleks didn't shoot the beach ball with the harpoon gun

  • Reply xThreeYearsx April 21, 2018 at 5:48 pm

    Do one where Aleks is James and James is Aleks.

  • Reply Kat in the Hat April 21, 2018 at 6:58 pm

    Happy Bonjovi day

  • Reply Toksan April 21, 2018 at 7:01 pm

    remember the time asher almost died?

  • Reply Collin Anderson April 21, 2018 at 7:35 pm

    Asherโ€™s impression of James is great

  • Reply Collin Anderson April 21, 2018 at 7:36 pm

    Stop burning the damn couch

  • Reply FtgDarkWolf April 21, 2018 at 7:42 pm

    This is cringy XD

  • Reply Kieran. April 21, 2018 at 7:56 pm

    11:30 is probably one of the most beautiful moments on this show

  • Reply hairychesticles1 April 21, 2018 at 9:45 pm

    lol that intro

  • Reply dope catz April 21, 2018 at 11:27 pm

    you guys probably wont see this but you are killing it with the ads such great useful things and i actually enjoy watching the ads keep up the good work guys iv been watching for half a decade

  • Reply Big Bad Wolf April 22, 2018 at 3:49 pm

    Less Jacob

  • Reply bunnigo ! April 22, 2018 at 8:58 pm

    mmmmm spicy coca cola my fav

  • Reply Humanoid Weapon April 23, 2018 at 2:29 am

    9:16 It's gone!๐Ÿ˜‚ I haven't laugh like that in a while๐Ÿ˜†

  • Reply Ivan Paredes April 23, 2018 at 6:49 pm

    that theme song sounded like a song from the Minecraft soundtrack at the beginning

  • Reply Hope The Human April 24, 2018 at 9:01 pm

    12:25 I LITERALLY ALMOST CHOCKED ON MY PB & J

  • Reply Goran Arenas April 25, 2018 at 4:19 am

    Better than the normal ones

  • Reply neena April 26, 2018 at 9:58 pm

    12:22

  • Reply 6Kine6tic6 ; April 27, 2018 at 2:43 pm

    Can yall put jacob in the next public event panel please. Wtf is wrong with yall.

  • Reply Rhys Owens April 27, 2018 at 3:48 pm

    7:28 to skip the ad

  • Reply Carol April 27, 2018 at 8:50 pm

    Design Toscano Cowch Holstein Cow Bench Sculpture https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MNLYCIU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_taa_i_BY44AbKPK78ED There the best thing on Amazon prime

  • Reply Elsie Crisp April 29, 2018 at 12:18 am

    James and Aleks look great in this video! I love what Aleks did with his hair.

  • Reply Saleena2014 April 29, 2018 at 4:46 am

    Brett's arms are looking real good in the baseball tee in the ad read ๐Ÿ’•

  • Reply REAPERTHEBEAR April 29, 2018 at 1:07 pm

    Tbh I love CowChop ads

  • Reply TLSxAJL April 30, 2018 at 2:32 am

    this was pretty funny

  • Reply Arturo April 30, 2018 at 5:00 pm

    Trevor and Brett did it better

  • Reply Steira Bua May 1, 2018 at 7:28 pm

    For a while i thought that cow chop got a little boring lately, but this shit right here is better than my hentai collection at 3 in the murning whilst jacking of stones at a playground in neaples

  • Reply For Your Safety May 1, 2018 at 8:33 pm

    Yo Jakob, you gotta chill with aiming a loaded harpoon gun at people especially if you had the safety off. Try explaining to the cops that you were just joking around when you put a fucking harpoon through Asher's head.

  • Reply Skrt Reynolds May 2, 2018 at 3:31 am

    does anyone know what the background music is while they were doing the acupuncture bit?

  • Reply Pan May 2, 2018 at 8:58 am

    PUT IN MORE EFFORT DUDE…

  • Reply beetle149 May 2, 2018 at 12:25 pm

    "No, my dad left me" HOLY FUCK JAKOB

  • Reply Detective Dude: Dude Detective May 2, 2018 at 3:37 pm

    did jakob accidentally make an andrew jackson jihad song

  • Reply Bring It On Briana May 2, 2018 at 5:20 pm

    I actually thought the man on the target was Brett at first….

  • Reply beastyechoes3 May 3, 2018 at 9:33 pm

    Trevor and the Brett did it better

  • Reply Christopher Sanchez May 4, 2018 at 4:25 am

    4:47 ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Reply Cupid's Arrow May 5, 2018 at 11:17 pm

    Ellen went black, I see

  • Reply Trevor Smith May 9, 2018 at 12:22 pm

    I want Lindsay to sit on my face

  • Reply starvation f May 10, 2018 at 1:45 am

    The teatertoter bit sounded like gay porn

  • Reply Alex Munoz May 19, 2018 at 3:43 am

    Good to see Aleks nice and fit again

  • Reply Leechmaster May 22, 2018 at 3:40 am

    That h3h3? 4:10

  • Reply Algernon Papadopoulos May 22, 2018 at 1:45 pm

    Holy shit they were so close to having a harpoon into the head.

  • Reply FrostHS May 23, 2018 at 9:36 pm

    Someone gonna get hurt eventually. Calling it now. Bet it'll be Jakob 8)

  • Reply CeeDibby. May 28, 2018 at 1:33 am

    one wrong move and someone gone b n de a n e

  • Reply Gage Hess June 4, 2018 at 4:16 am

    13:11 = https://twitter.com/AsherTheFirst/status/985265629228761088

  • Reply SlimeKing223 June 4, 2018 at 11:21 pm

    This new energetic aleks is a lot better than the depressed sad one that we've been seeying for a while.

  • Reply CCzarMasta56 June 7, 2018 at 8:59 am

    Great episode! But why did James call Aleks Jakob at the end?

  • Reply Jean-Gabriel Moonchild est.1986 June 7, 2018 at 9:07 am

    >>——>

  • Reply Danurus June 8, 2018 at 7:02 am

    I like that Jacob lit a ire like Alex but, unlike Alex he put it out before it got out of hand

  • Reply boshandsmokes June 9, 2018 at 2:12 am

    Jakobs impression is honestly great

  • Reply G_MIXES AJL June 29, 2018 at 3:22 am

    Asher is so nonchalant 3:44

    No you sit on it

  • Reply Wesley July 4, 2018 at 3:04 am

    11:30. ??? Redundant green day? Birdabo intro???

  • Reply xt0bix July 5, 2018 at 1:14 am

    HOLY fook yo that Harpoon Gun bit gave me so much anxiety

  • Reply Daltom Thomas July 10, 2018 at 4:59 pm

    Never laughed so hard in my life

  • Reply zoeblo paistinpannu July 11, 2018 at 1:48 pm

    they should actually use that song

  • Reply Vince M July 21, 2018 at 6:32 am

    if someone aimed a fucking harpoon gun at my head especially without the safety on i would freak the fuck out

  • Reply Adam Daly July 23, 2018 at 3:02 am

    That ad in the middle of the video was just under 1/5 of the entire video

  • Reply Gillian Lupo July 28, 2018 at 3:13 am

    currently realizing i watched the entire sponsor ad just to hear brett talk

  • Reply Jane Bick August 8, 2018 at 6:19 am

    Ellen looks great after her bora bora vacation.

  • Reply Porceliankitty August 12, 2018 at 1:50 am

    i just realized they have fake tattoo sleeves

  • Reply Jackson Byrd August 28, 2018 at 4:54 pm

    Internal genitals or external genitals XD

  • Reply GFM Productions August 29, 2018 at 1:25 am

    #notmyalecksandjames

  • Reply MadiCat247 August 29, 2018 at 5:08 pm

    Aleks got very self aware and tan this video

  • Reply Sir Drell August 30, 2018 at 12:35 pm

    'Aleks' waving that harpoon gun around at the start gave me serious anxiety

  • Reply SimplyStimulating September 2, 2018 at 11:32 am

    This is going be my last comment for awhile I donโ€™t enjoy commenting on every video I watch itโ€™s kind of annoying now and stuff Rip smh Iโ€™m dummy head no ones going even read this ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿค˜๐ŸปโœŒ๐Ÿป

  • Reply SimplyStimulating September 2, 2018 at 11:36 am

    Oof I was going be like wait this is actually going be my last comment and say something these arenโ€™t my last comments Iโ€™m obviously going comment on something again hmm

  • Reply SimplyStimulating September 2, 2018 at 11:45 am

    9:54 So thatโ€™s how that hole got there

  • Reply Jex2112 September 14, 2018 at 1:04 am

    Iโ€™m chaotic

  • Reply Corky 420 September 19, 2018 at 9:26 pm

    James looks different. Did he get a hair cut or something?

  • Reply Juan Santana September 28, 2018 at 5:29 am

    Who else heard Asher worrying about Jakob drinking while under age at 2:24 to 2:35

  • Reply storrooo October 4, 2018 at 12:18 pm

    Yโ€™all seriously missed that they put actual audio from James and Aleks through the video…

  • Reply Double Depresso November 19, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    this is fake aleks didnt start a fire

  • Reply JediSaiyan November 20, 2018 at 6:28 pm

    damn aleks looking good

  • Reply Jelle van der Heide December 19, 2018 at 12:13 am

    2:30

  • Reply Freddy freaker January 17, 2019 at 3:40 am

    Song sounds like one of them North Korean shits

  • Reply wet hot american plumber January 20, 2019 at 4:40 am

    Eric Andre show?

  • Reply Lloyd Nix February 10, 2019 at 12:32 am

    They forgot that Aleks and James toke up before recording.

  • Reply Supreme Buffalo February 11, 2019 at 5:18 am

    I cant believe I missed this episode, although I'm glad now that I never saw it. Makes me miss Asher though…

  • Reply jake ballou March 4, 2019 at 12:07 am

    Dood that theme song should make a comeback

  • Reply Dogma March 5, 2019 at 9:11 pm

    3 minute ads, what the fuck

  • Reply J Dufau March 12, 2019 at 8:31 am

    Dying at 4:50

  • Reply James Heichel March 23, 2019 at 3:35 am

    Kind of weird that the guy who throws up all the time can't handle a sippy sip of alcohol

  • Reply MF Draati June 19, 2019 at 7:44 pm

    tyler the creator stole jakobs style smh

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