Browsing Tag: comedy

    Jellyfish Sting Pee Paramedic (ft. @Gus Johnson) – Mini-Mocks
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    Jellyfish Sting Pee Paramedic (ft. @Gus Johnson) – Mini-Mocks

    January 18, 2020


    The only thing scarier than
    getting stung by a jellyfish is having nobody to pee on you.
    Well, that’s where I come in. My name is Vince
    Amico and I’m a jellyfish sting,
    piss paramedic. Most people just call me Piss
    Boy, though. At first, some beach goers were
    a little uncomfortable with my method of treatment,
    but as soon as they get stung they quickly warm up,
    partially because of the pee. I might not be a trained
    professional per se, but I would say that my passion
    for pee easily rivals that of any trained lifeguard. Stay in your lane, Kyle.
    Stay in your lane! During the busy season, I usually treat about
    four cases an hour, so it’s very important
    that I stay hydrated. I’m drinking water
    every hour on the hour. I also set up a little reservoir
    so none of my pee goes to waste. Piss Boys require
    sniper like precision. The conditions … Oh my God!
    please piss on my right now! Oh my God! They’re just so variable,
    they’re not always perfect. Lean in. yep, lean in.
    okay, there you go. Needing to pee has never been
    a problem for me. I have had problems with other
    people not needing me to pee, which is tough.
    There is usually one guy who is always requesting
    my service, Tony. There was another one,
    he got me right in the mouth! Piss boys get
    such little respect. You guys need any pee, whiz,
    stuff like that, here’s my card, here. Just go away. Got It. We are like
    volunteer firefighters, except we are fighting
    the burning sensation. Plus my hose is way bigger. Of course, when I’m not
    peeing on someone, I’m training and geez, I’m not
    even peeing for fun anymore. Plus, I constantly
    have to watch what I eat. If a patient is
    particularly shy, for example, we do offer a more privacy
    based option. Of course, they will
    have to endure a few extra seconds of pain,
    but it’s worth it in the end. I am more of a precision
    based shooter myself, so for some of
    our more serious cases, we’re calling in
    the heavy artillery, Piss Girl. Her full body spray technique ensures that no sting
    is left behind. We’re just trying
    to save lives here. Or at the very least,
    save your day at the beach. And like every job, you know,
    Piss Boys aren’t perfect. Sometimes I get caught
    in the line of fire. You do not want to see me
    get pissed, well, piss on myself,
    you don’t want to see that. If I were God or Christ himself, I would just eviscerate
    all the jellyfish. I hate them. Hey, I’m Gus Johnson. I took over Comedy Central
    this week and I made a lot of stuff
    with them. So click on the bubble
    or the boxes, wherever they are, please.
    This is a call to action. That’s what influencers say.

    GAME MASTER CHALLENGE! Box Fort Prison Underground Maze Escape Room (Hacked By Project Zorgo)
    Articles, Blog

    GAME MASTER CHALLENGE! Box Fort Prison Underground Maze Escape Room (Hacked By Project Zorgo)

    January 13, 2020


    Oh looks like I made it out of that
    prison but where are we now guys I don’t know if we’re in another prison or
    something else hello can you hear me what is this what do you mean see if I
    can escape this look I’m not some puppet you’re gonna send through all of your
    games how do I get out of here what do you want with me look I know you’re
    sending this footage to Logan I I know you’re uploading it to my channel
    without my permission I don’t know what you’re doing but my
    viewers are smarter than this so tell me what you want us to be friends and tell me who you are tell me who you
    are right now are you another youtuber are you Chad well clearance even share I
    want to know the close to the answers you’re seeking will be given to you soon
    complete this game and I’ll give you one hey you know fine fine if I beat this
    game if I beat this maze then you need to give me a clue as to who you really
    are good my boys know yeah yeah I know I know the rules all right guys look it
    looks like we’re in some sort of box Ford maze the game masters put together
    I don’t know about you guys but this is really creeping me out
    I don’t like the fact he’s just staring at me I don’t know if he can see me or
    not I don’t see any cameras in here the best thing we can do right now is have
    you guys helping us call me to me down below helping us solve this mystery and
    most importantly guys if something does happen if the game master cuts off our
    subscriptions or something be sure that you have that Bell button hit it’s the
    only way I might be able to communicate with you guys let me know if you think
    any other youtuber could be game master I mean a lot of you guys
    before we’re commenting that it could be Logan but Logan pinky-swore me that is
    not the game master you’re not the game master right no
    Logan do you pinkie swear you’re not the game master yes so it definitely can’t
    be Logan but there are a lot of other youtubers that it could be we got to
    figure out a way to get out of here and solve this maze so we can get closer to
    the answer and more importantly break out of here because I’m tired of playing
    the game masters games all right let’s see if we can find anything in this room
    here there’s the creepy picture of the game master I think there’s one of these
    in the box for prison he puts one of these in like every single game II plays
    okay other than that we have a fan or something here and a rope you found the
    crystal key there’s a crystal ball on here to escape so wait if i find the
    crystal ball and places on here i can escape if i just press it doors opening
    doors opening can’t get a big boy all right well looks like the only way
    we’re getting out of here is with some sort of crystal ball unless I jump for
    it no I thought it was a little bit close to that time okay fine you know
    what I breaking out of prison I can play a
    box where maze and find this crystal ball it’s gonna get out of this room
    wait guys look at the door yes yes on the door out of here there’s like some
    writing maybe maybe this is cool to get out of here guys I have no idea what
    that could mean or what it is it might be some sort of clue or like a riddle or
    something guys if you have any idea what this could be let me know in the
    comments I might be able to get Logan to relay me the information he has been
    able to talk to me but I haven’t heard anything from Logan in a while we got to
    get out of this place and find this crystal ball actually I saw this great
    here looks like I might be able to get through here but the game master won’t
    let me do anything against the rules which means I’ve got to find a way to
    get through this legitimately without breaking it there’s got to be something
    in here I can use well I could throw a TV monitor through it but I don’t think
    that’s gonna solve anything he may have watched one of my prison
    escapes where I use a vent to pull the bars off in this case he might want me
    to do the same thing no no no no okay what about this
    well it’s working the rooms fully way to sup sup sup okay okay just like to get
    to the bars yeah I do alright perfect okay that must have been
    it if I can put this rope through the bars here I can use the fan as torque to
    pull them off of here and get down into whatever is down there I’m not sure
    what’s down there guys but I’m looking for a crystal ball I have no idea what
    the game master has in store for me but I really have no other options alright
    there you go guys I’ve got the knot tied on here now when I activate this it
    should pull the bars off and I’ll be able to get down into there alright here
    goes nothing activate perfect alright well listen you go down here
    into a little bit of an underground tunnel okay
    alright it’s a little freaky to go down there but su you guys aren’t going first
    no okay I got to go first okay here we go
    here goes nothing looks like there’s another door down there and as far as I
    can tell there’s no trap so we should be good to go all right let’s go feet first
    I’m making my way down into the creepy tunnel to find a crystal what just happened the lights just
    turned off okay I don’t know if we’re making progress or what but all I know
    is that screen is want to get out of here let’s go into the tunnel well looks
    like there’s a door over there and button system great some more buttons
    guys I don’t know what will happen if I press the wrong button here but I don’t
    think we have another choice I’ve gotta choose one and press it comment down
    below which one you would be pressing but I think I’m gonna go with number 2
    and see what happens with that to 100 all right that’s not creepy that’s a
    creepy at all it’s just it’s just the gamemaster laughing okay all right you
    know that’s let’s not press number two but number two is not to be pressed ah
    alright let’s try number three here goes nothing guys in three two one uh okay I think that might be the light
    switch uh all right let’s turn that back on
    totally leaves us one last number and if that doesn’t open the door I don’t know
    what will all right here goes nothing in three two
    one what do you mean look closely what’s
    going on what’s happening smoke wait look closely
    hold on the light the light whoa no guys I think I know what he means well look
    closely there are literally lasers all throughout this hallway the doors now
    open make it to the other side without
    setting off the laser oh okay that’s easier said than done I don’t know what will happen if we set
    one off guys but I don’t want to stick around to find out you can step over
    this one Oh easy does it thanks mr. lazy oh oh there’s one right
    here oh there’s one right here by my face all right let’s just dodge and ER
    this and this what I don’t want to hit you there
    good thing I’m slightly trained in acrobatics Oh Blue’s Clues we made it to the other
    side without setting off any other lasers all right let’s get moving
    this should just open got it all right looks like we made it to the next room
    oh it’s a lot brighter in here a lot less smoky okay what is this guys well this was a maze I’m sure a carnival
    or something with why are they balloons let’s try the door why what why can’t I
    go through the door hey it’s gotta be something we do to open it
    everything in here’s a game everything in here is a riddle the game master
    wants us to play his game and to solve his game as we go along which means just
    like the lasers this is another game that has to do with these let’s look
    around guys see we can find something there’s some markings on the ground here
    looks like there’s an arrow pointing towards the balloons this could signify
    that it has something to do with the balloons and it wants me to stand by
    this arrow wait here guys look there’s some darts oh I know what this is I need
    to pop the balloons okay all right that’s not too bad that’s that’s all you
    got some balloon popping games that’s nothing
    Paul for Jake has Papa Jake happens to be one of the best balloon poppers and
    the balloon popper leak it’s I think he gets the point all right well if I’m not
    mistaken this means we need to stand behind this blue arrow and pop those
    bullets shouldn’t be too hard all right here we go
    first dark and see if we can get it awesome got the first balloon how do you
    where to go start here we go let’s try get this big
    blue one up here three two one oh oh oh nice
    hi just go get this pink one and the door should open I think I got this here
    goes nothing awesome got it okay let’s try the door why does it work you pop the balloons guys I just throw how possibly I could
    do anything differently wait guys the balloons just refilled themselves okay
    that’s that’s not creepy at all uh do I have to do it again do I have to do a
    second time what I must have done them wrong I must have done the the puzzle
    wrong that I played the game wrong there’s gotta be something something I’m
    missing here we grab the darts guys look here there’s colored stripes of tape
    blue blue I think the game isn’t popping the balloons it’s popping the balloons
    in the correct order I’ve to welcome the order blue pink blue
    okay all right I can do this I’ve got the darts and behind the line let’s just
    pop it again in that order three two one perfect got the first one
    all right that’s done now to do the pink in three two one oh nice two for two
    the final ones the blue if this doesn’t work guys I have no idea what he wants
    but I’m thinking this is it this must be how we solve the puzzle
    three two one nice last one done hey now let’s try the
    door oh that’s different sound sounds like
    success alright we made it to the next room let’s see what’s in here
    well okay it’s a bit of a smaller room oh but ah looks like another puzzle or
    piece of the maze alright let’s scan the room see if we
    can find anything it looks like this is in the last room though I’m not seeing a
    crystal ball anywhere which means this maze keeps going on you

    Basketball with Jack Black & Chris Paul | Kevin Hart: What The Fit Ep 12 | Laugh Out Loud Network
    Articles, Blog

    Basketball with Jack Black & Chris Paul | Kevin Hart: What The Fit Ep 12 | Laugh Out Loud Network

    January 13, 2020


    ( music playing )both: Next game.( music playing)Here we go, here we go.
    He’s dunking. Who got next, fellas?
    Who got next? We got to get worked
    into the next game. – Who do I talk to to
    see who got next?
    – Hey! Is there a signup
    sheet for next? Jack Black over here
    from “Nacho Libre.” ( laughter ) It’s like they’re, like,
    on purpose ignoring us. Here’s what’s going on
    right now. We’re at Venice,
    the legendary Venice Beach. I got my guy, Jack Black,
    with me and I say you know what,
    today, we should actually
    play basketball and let’s get fit
    by coming out here to hoop with some people that hoop. Yeah. Hey, next game I’mma go ahead and run with y’all,
    so give me a count as to what y’all going to,
    what you go–hey, big fella. What you going to, baby? – What you going to, baby?
    – It seems like they’re going
    to infinity. – Yeah.
    – ( crowd cheering ) I tell you what,
    how about this? How about y’all just
    lost your shot. I’m gonna get
    my own goddamn team
    and come back to compete. Good luck getting a part in
    “Nacho 2” because… – Yeah, that’s right. Yeah.
    – …that door just closed. And dunking in pink shorts
    don’t make you tough, I tell you that, huh?
    Right? That’s right. – Let’s go get our own teams.
    – Oh, yeah. – ( crowd cheering )
    – Let’s go, Jack, we don’t need this shit.
    Let’s go.( music playing )Here’s what we’re gonna do.
    Let’s walk up and down here. – Yeah.
    – Right? You pick two people, – I’ll pick two people.
    – Okay. We’ll do our own
    three-on-threes. – All right, good.
    – Okay? This is like
    a scouting report. Yeah. And they can
    be anybody, okay? – I feel very confident…
    – All right. – …in my picking capabilities.
    – Okay. Holy cow. – Yo, I see…
    – You see somebody? Yo, you’re gonna think
    i’m bullshitting right now. Burg, Burg. – What’s up, Burg?
    – What up, what up? – Hey.
    – What up, K-fam? How are you?
    You remember burg, right? Of course. – What up, man?
    – First of all, what the hell – are you doing out here?
    – I’m from L.A., – I love the beaches.
    – All right, well, look, this is what we’re about to do. We’re about to play
    three-on-three, I’m picking two, he picking two.
    You wanna run with me? – Yeah.
    – All right, I got Burg. – Okay. All right.
    – He’s my first pick. You wanna just keep
    walking down then? I’m just–I’m just
    not seeing anyone… We got to–we just got to go. – …that’s like clearly
    got game.
    – Well, let’s just look, – just look.
    – Let me talk to this guy. Let me talk to this fella. Excuse me, what’s your name? Malik? I’m Jack,
    good to meet you, too. – Yeah.
    – Now, I approach you because you’re a good, like,
    one foot taller than me. Do you play basketball at all? Okay. – So you’re ready?
    – Yeah. Let’s keep walking, guys. We gonna find somebody here. Matter of fact,
    you play basketball? Are you good? Are you really good? Forget the picture, This is an opportunity. Forget the picture. Do you wanna play
    basketball with me? I want him. – ( laughter )
    – I want him. – Kev, we’re both little guys.
    – Can you play? I want him. What’s your name? – Terry?
    – Erik. Okay, Erik, stop confusing me, Okay?
    We’re about to go back, and we’re about to play
    three-on-threes, I got my team,
    this is who I want, this is who I’m playing with.
    Let’s head back to the courts and then you get
    your picture after. If we lose, no picture. Deal?
    High five. That’s what I’m talking about.
    Come on, guys. I’mma be honest
    with you, Malik, I’m not very good
    at basketball. – Yeah?
    – But what I lack in skill I make up for in passion. I’m one of those guys
    that just tries – a hundred and five percent.
    – Yeah. And just ( bleep ) sucks rocks. If it gets rough, just get me
    the damn basketball. – I’mma just give you the ball.
    – Hey, guys, how are you, sir? Erik, that’s right,
    you–Erik, stay focused. I can’t have you slapping
    people’s hands, okay? I need you focused. I picked you because
    you’re my weapon, all right? I’m gonna tell you a secret. I am cold-blooded. I had to make some decisions,
    I made some moves. I’m bringing in a ringer
    for the third player. Someone from the NBA that I think you may recognize when you see him. Where’s Jack at? ( crowd cheering ) Hey, Kevin. You got your team ready? – I found some teammates.
    – Kevin, he went and got some – ( bleep ) real players, dawg.
    – I found–I got Malik. – Oh, that’s dirty bitch.
    – I told you, I told you. – That’s Chris Paul.
    – They got a NBA professional. – What’s up, little man?
    – I think I got CP3. What the ( bleep )
    are you doing? – What the (bleep) is this?
    – Chris Paul Three. – What’s happening?
    – Hey, how’s it going? That’s not cool, dawg,
    that’s not cool, dawg. – Hey, man.
    – That’s not cool, dawg. I know you, brother.
    Wait a minute, brother. – Brother, I know you, man.
    – Good to meet you. – Jack said he needed one.
    – But why is you the one? – Jack, what is…
    – Yeah. – Why wouldn’t he be the one?
    – Yeah, but I said a pickup
    game. My scouting instincts
    get the best I can find – from what I can see.
    – Oh, yeah. Well, I ain’t
    never been a bitch. What we playing for,
    a hundred thousand? – What we playing for?
    – Huh? – What we playing for?
    – We playing for sneakers. Loser got to walk out
    of here with no sneaks. – Bet. Bet. Bet.
    – Bet. Bet. Bet. – Bet it.
    – Bet it. Okay. Let’s get it
    in the middle here. – Yeah. Wolf pack?
    – Yeah, wolf pack. – ( howling )
    – One, two, three, all: Wolf pack. On three, mighty men, come on. – One, two, three…
    – all: Mighty men. Okay, all right.
    Okay, let’s go, Erik. – ( crowd cheering )
    – All right, listen. Before we go and have an intense
    three-on-three basketball game, I figure it’s right
    to have a challenge. But not just any challenge, we got to have
    our Bengay challenge.Three people are gonna come up,they’re gonna shoot foul shots.Whoever makes
    the most foul shots will win.
    So let’s go all in and win. All right, John,
    you got 30 seconds to make as many you possibly can. – Time.
    – ( music playing ) Got to go,
    got to go, got to go. John got on three knee braces for no reason at all. All right. And we are out of time. – Too late.
    – John didn’t make one free throw. Okay. – Doesn’t count, sir.
    – See, those should count. Doesn’t count.
    All right, on three. Ready, set, go.
    Come on, Erik. – Come on, erik, you got it.
    – There you go. Take off. – Take off.
    – Come on, Erik. Hurry up. – Come on, Erik.
    – ( crowd cheering ) That’s one. Last shot, Erik, hurry up. You got one, that’s it,
    Erik, don’t run, don’t tire yourself out,
    I need you for the game. Good job, you got one. – Good job.
    – All right, Malik. Hey, Malik. Easy money, go get it. You got 30 seconds, Malik.
    Go. – Feel it.
    – Take off, Malik, take off. – There it is.
    – ( crowd cheering ) Don’t focus on the result, – focus on the journey.
    – There you go. – Two seconds, Malik.
    – I’m taking partial credit for these hoops.
    I’m saying the right shit. – Pull up.
    – Time. – He shot it.
    – ( crowd cheering ) Malik killed y’all. All right, Malik,
    you are the winner of our Bengay challenge. You may be sore
    after that challenge, but hopefully
    this win from Bengay will help you relieve the pain. – It’s a hell of a trophy.
    – Hey, man, amazing job. – Yeah.
    – Amazing shooting, I hope you feel good
    about beating a kid.( music playing )All right, Jack. I know we
    came out here as friends, but I think within a friendship
    comes great competition. So at this point,
    I’mma politely decline our friendship
    from you and from Chris, friendship over,
    three-on-three, game goes to 11. We both get two timeouts apiece. – You’re gonna lose.
    – Is it my turn? – Yeah, now it is.
    – First of all, I’d like to thank you
    for showing up. – Right, right.
    – I’m surprised you showed up. – Right.
    – Because you’re about to be – embarrassed on television.
    – Preach. Also, I’d also like to say you are short. ( laughter ) You’re shorter than average. ( laughter ) All right, it’s game time. – ( crowd cheering )
    – I yelled that so loud, I got lightheaded. – Yes.
    – You ready? Who you got, J, who you got? – I got the kid.
    – You got him? That kid will score nothing – while I’m on his watch.
    – Lock him up. – Y’all ready?
    – Oh, shit. Oh, where you going, Jack?
    Go, get a bucket, Jack. – Oh.
    – Ugh. Go ahead, Erik. Take it in there strong, Erik. – Give me that, Erik.
    – ( laughter ) Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, and the same thing
    can happen to you, too. Erik, that means nothing.
    Those things happen – to the best of us.
    – Let’s go. Come on, Burg.
    Oh, back cut. Oh, he can’t see that far.
    I’mma rebound. – Go ahead, shoot it.
    – That’s a bucket. ( crowd cheering ) Hey, that’s called
    busting Chris Paul’s ass. I’m about to put
    a highlight reel together. Switch, Jack, switch. – Switch!
    – Oh. Good knee, Jack. – Good knee, Jack.
    – Shot, John. – That’s a two. Yeah.
    – ( crowd cheering ) – Time out.
    – Where are you going, Coach? – Quick change of costume.
    – You’re playing great
    out there. Headbutt, headbutt,
    there you go. That’s what we do.
    We headbutt. It was the kicks, bro. It was the kicks, bro. Let’s not change
    anything, okay? He was playing bad
    because he didn’t have his terrible shoes on.
    You ready now? – Almost there, bro.
    – What is Jack doing?( music playing )– Jack, we’re losing right now.
    – I’m back. And why do you have wings on the
    back of your sneakers? I think you’re
    about to find out, Kev. All right, let’s go. Throw it up, throw it up.
    Just throw it up. – Dammit, he’s tall.
    – Up here. – Yeah!
    – Yeah, yeah. – We’re obviously a better team.
    – ( crowd cheering ) Put it right here.
    Go to work, Jack. – Why you dribbling so slow?
    – We’re like the Miami Heat, the villains of the league, – and we win.
    – Go! – ( grunts )
    – Keep it simple. – What’s happening?
    – It’s a sub. – They got a sub.
    – Jack, what? – He got a sub.
    – Jack got a sub. Wait, Jack,
    what just happened? You can’t get a sub
    to act like you – because he’s white.
    – “Game on” yell it. Yeah. Jack, that doesn’t
    make him you. – Wait, Jack, wait.
    – Game on, I’m Jack Black. – No, Jack…
    – Come on, pick it up. Get in there, Jack Black, show them who’s boss! –( music playing )
    – Boy. Yeah. That’s what — – ( crowd cheering )
    – Go, go, go, shoot it. – Three up.Three and three.
    – Yeah, Jack Black and CP3. Yup, yup. ( music playing ) – Yes!
    – ( crowd cheering ) Yeah. – ( howling )
    – Nothing. – Scout report says–
    – You wanna switch? – He can play.
    – You wanna switch? – You wanna switch?
    – No. Oh, Jesus.( music playing )Hey, Erik, you got to bear
    down! You gonna post the kid up? Help! Help! – Get it.
    – Shot, Kev. – Right, right, right.
    – Two. – ( crowd cheering )
    – About time you hit one in. – I’m busting your ass.
    – No, this is not how it was
    supposed to go down. – Oh, yeah.
    – Foul. Ow. – ( laughter )
    – Foul. – He hit me.
    – Time out. – I call a foul. Time out.
    – Look at my sneakers, – he untied them and everything.
    – Time out. You ready? – Thanks, man.
    – He’s trying to hurt me. All right,
    let’s shut them down. Jack,
    take this for a second. Hey, all right. – Lock him up.
    – I’ll lock him up. Take the three because
    you’re not getting past me. You’re not getting past me. – Smack the ground, Jack.
    – Take aim. – There you go.
    – Come on. There you go.
    Here you go, here you go, I’m with you.
    I’m with you. Jack, cut, Jack, cut. – Erik, hey.
    – Oh, God. ( laughter ) – Ten to five.
    – Jack, look, let me tell you
    how we’re gonna win it, let me tell you
    how we’re gonna win it. Tell me, tell me,
    tell me, tell me. This is game point but here’s the beauty of it. This is where I get serious. One, two, three,
    wolf pack, whoo. What the–what was that? – ( crowd cheering )
    – Game point, let’s go. Get in that corner
    right there. Get in that corner.
    Ready to shoot, Malik. You gotta fight through it,
    gotta fight through it. – Ready to shoot.
    – Yeah, yeah. Locked up, locked up. Oh, there it go, Jack, there it go. – Jack, Jack, again.
    – Hit me. – ( grunts )
    – ( crowd cheering ) Back to my sweet-spot, come on.
    I need redemption. ( crowd reacting ) Get it back to me, CP3, – I need this.
    – Hit the rebound. Yeah rebound. – Our ball. Our ball.
    – ( laughter ) Jack, do we need
    to make it bigger? – Oh, my God.
    – Jack, – you see the white square?
    – Yeah. If you hit it in it
    every time, it goes in. – That’s a great tip, thank you.
    – All right. – Hey, Jack.
    – I got this. Way to fail on 30 attempts. Yeah, but who’s better
    at picking teammates? – Get the kid, Jack. Get him.
    – Erik, right now, Get open, erik. No, no, no, no. Oh, oh. Come on, John. – Goddamn it, john.
    – Damn it, John. Damn it, John. I’m back in the sweet spot. Oh, God. Okay, Kevin. CP3.( music playing )Help. Oh, there it goes, Jack. ( screams ) ( crowd cheering ) – Wolf pack, wolf pack.
    – You did it. – Wolf pack, wolf pack.
    – You did it. Wolf pack, wolf pack,
    wolf pack, wolf pack. ( laughs )
    Game winning shot. Jack Black was the better man. This is “What the Fit.” And sometimes I guess
    I’m gonna have to lose. This is my trophy. I just wanna thank
    all the people that believed in me. ( crowd cheering ) Much love to all involved. – Thank you.
    – Are you done? – I’m done.
    – Can you come up out – them shoes though?
    – Okay. – Ooh, yeah.
    – You said the loser– – The shoes must come off.
    – Hey, does anybody out here wear size 12 in kids? ( laughs ) ( crowd cheering ) I’ll see you next time,
    next episode of “What the Fit.” Oh, God. Oh.Hi, I’m Kevin Hart.
    If you like what you saw,
    then why not watch more?
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    Monster Beach (With Rekha Shankar)
    Articles, Blog

    Monster Beach (With Rekha Shankar)

    January 12, 2020


    (epic music) – Welcome back to Drawga, where we tell a dumb story using
    even dumber drawings. I am your drawing master Caldwell Tanner joined by Legzi, Ryjinah, and Rah’oxah. AKA the Lady’s Book Club,
    hoo, how we doing, gang? – Road trip. – Road trip, yeah. – We’re going to the beach, baby. Nothing to go wrong.
    – [Caldwell] Going to the beach. – If the last few episodes were any indication, nothing
    will ever go wrong. – Normal beach. – [All] Normal beach, normal beach. – Normal beach, except it’s not. You are headed to The Beast Coast which of course.
    – Woo! – [Caldwell] Oh, there you go. – Rox is in. – Rox, have you heard of it? – Oh yeah. (everyone laughs) – It’s the only book Rox has read. It’s a picture book about The Beast Coast and all the monsters you can kill there. – My dad lent it to me when I was a kid. It was all about The Beast Coast. – Aww. That’s so cute.
    – Very punchable monsters over there.
    – [Caldwell] Oh, so punchable. They’re, like, so big, is the thing. They’re just full of big, beautiful haunches you can just really uppercut. Roll one to.
    – Fat targets, yeah. – Yeah, well, before we get there I think we’re gonna need to do a quick recap so you know what’s going on by the time this train
    arrives, sound good? – Let’s do it. – Alrighty, when we last left our heroes they were mixing it up
    at Ludwig Windersol’s Fancy Ass Lake House, after meeting some incredibly weird new friends as well as getting reacquainted with
    their old classmate, Renauld. Ludwig introduced the
    Questly Fellows to Alan Piss. (everyone laughs) – Every time. – Every time, thank you, I’m so glad you’re just pleased by
    the creations that have come forth from my brain to you. – Alan is a really funny name. – [Caldwell] Thank you. – I’m really glad that he changed it. – A celebrity industrialist who made a fortune stealing ideas from others. It turns out this entire mixer was a ruse designed to allow Alan to hunt down all the Questly Employees and
    force them to give him ideas. The Lady’s Book Club attempted to flee into the woods, but were captured by Alan’s various booby
    traps, they managed to save their lives by offering him three amazing ideas, a
    name changing device. A pair of tactical pants for women and of course a drone that
    puts sticky piss on everything. – Sure does. – And we drew it super well. – You did it so well, perfect blueprints. They’re off getting printed by the industrial printers right now. No notes, honestly, flawless,
    just 100% ready to go. Noticing you were rightly traumatized by your experience in the woods, Ludwig tried to extend the Olive Branch by sending you three to The Beast Coast on a job shadow program
    with the Movie Night Boys. It will be just like a vacation except there will be monsters
    desperately trying to kill you. – That seems about right at this point. – [Caldwell] Pretty par for the course. Yes, slap a Lei on your neck, let’s get ready to hang loose
    and kill some beasts because the train is
    pulling in to the station. – Hell yeah. – Nice. – So, you three step of the Somewhereica Express and into Monster Valley. (everyone gasps) – [Nathan] All these
    backgrounds are so good. – They’re lush, thank you again to Patricia for designing
    these lovely backgrounds. They are fantastic.
    – You rule. – [Caldwell] So you step
    off the Somewhereica Express and into Monster Valley, a land stained with blood and bathed in lava oozing from the nearby volcano. – I love vacation. (everyone laughs) – Several monstrous silhouettes lurking all directions
    save for one which is occupied by the tattered
    remnants of a small town. What do you want to do? – Jinah takes a couple
    steps and then goes fuck. We never rode the jet skis. – Oh my God, you’re right. – How did we forget, that was
    the one thing I wanted to do. – We were being hunted. – Yeah, but that’s no excuse. God damn it.
    – Yeah, we should have. We should have asked to ride the jet skis as reward for being hunted. – Maybe there’s jet
    skis here, it’s a beach. – Yeah. – You can put those things in the ocean. – You wanna look for jet skis? – Yeah, let’s roll for jet skis. – Yeah, do a wisdom roll. – A wisdom roll? – [Caldwell] Yeah. – Only the wisest. – Jet ski knowing. – May don the jet ski, let’s see. That’s a 16 plus four, 20? – 20, yeah, you definitely find a jet ski. – Hell yeah, dude, can I
    ride it or what’s the deal? – It looks like the Movie Night Boys haven’t arrived yet, so yeah, go ahead. Ride the jet ski.
    – Okay, all right. – I hop on your back. – On my back or on the
    back of the jet ski? – Yes. (everyone laughs) – How do jet skis work? – Listen, however we want them to work. This is our vacation. – I put my arms around your waist and I’m like, I’m on the back. – That’s very romantic. (laughs) – Rah’oxah, you riding a jet ski? – No, you know, I’m really excited to go fight some monsters, this is the most excited I’ve been in a long time but I don’t wanna trample on their fun. So I’m just gonna wait here.
    – Sure. Okay, you gonna warm up? – I start stretching, you know. I start stretching the legs, you know. We were on that express for so long. – That’s true. – Start stretching out shoulders. – May I just say your
    excitement is palpable. – Thank you. – Radiating from you. – Yep, thanks. – I’ve never seen Rah’oxah so thrilled. – She’s really letting loose, yeah. – She’s really letting loose,
    I think this will be good. – Yeah. Just rolling dice over there.
    – While you. While you’re on the jet
    ski, a sea born creature emerges from the wake and
    just chomps onto the jet ski. – I can’t believe I missed this. – What do you do? – We’re getting chomped. – Help, we’re being chomped. – All right, take off my jacket. – Yeah. – Important. – I don’t have a jacket, but if I did I make the motion to. – Oh, I see, it’s just muscle memory. – Where is Parker at this point? – Parker’s with you. – He’s with me? – Yeah. – Okay, I put Parker down on the ground. – [Nathan] Rah’oxah,
    we’re getting chomped. – We’re getting chomped, could you hurry, please, this sucks. – And then I swim as fast as possible unless there’s another jet ski? – Roll for jet ski, there’s
    not another jet ski. – All right. (everyone laughs) Swimming it is, this will be my warm up. – All right, roll a guts check. – All right, I have a nine. – A nine. – [Julie] Yeah. – Okay, you’re swimming out there but you were on that train for a long time and your legs are pretty cramped. You probably had a lot of sandwiches. Did not have any bananas even though the banana man did come around and he said bananas, bananas, if you plan on swimming, you best eat a banana. And you shooed him away
    – I should’ve. I should’ve.
    – every time. – He was so loud. (everyone laughs) – So, you find yourself swimming out but, like, cramping up, you’re so close to getting there, this monster is (makes chomping noises) chomping closer and closer on you. Just, like, hoarking down this jet ski. It’s a dire occasion, but luckily. – Oh, are those boys gonna show up? (mimicking a boat engine) – On a speed boat,
    appearing out of nowhere you see
    – A speedboat? – The Movie Night Boys,
    they jump into action. – No, no, I want this, I want this. (everyone laughs) – They pull you out of the water and onto the boat, Rick says
    stay here, I’ll handle this. – Dang it, Rod, whatever his name is. (everyone laughs) – And then he tries to
    drive the steering wheel but he just adjusts the radio instead. – Oh, what station does he put on? – Beast Coast Livin’ comes on the radio. It’s the hit of the summer, it’s by Eustace Flash, everyone’s favorite singer and it goes, of course, like. ♪ Beast Coast living, everyone’s dead ♪ ♪ ‘Cause monsters ate my mom ♪ and it’s kind of like a soulful ballad. – Yeah, but with, like, a pop beat to it. – Exactly. – I love it when songs have, like, real upbeat melodies but
    they’re real sad lyrics. – [Caldwell] It’s fun,
    it’s a fun contrast. – Yeah, it really makes you think. – So Eustace Flash, who’s
    just, like, tearing up the charts as the Movie Night Boys are literally tearing into this monster you see that the front end of their boat has, like, a giant knife
    that slides into place. – Aw, that’s rad. – That rules. – And they just ram into this sea monster that was attacking your
    boat and slice it in half. They’re very good at
    slicing snakes in half. – They’re super good at that. – Huh, look at that, now that’s some Sashimi that I would eat. – You already made the Sashimi joke. Do you have any other jokes? – Shit, hold on, he’s, like
    flipping through his Rolodex. – His joke Rolodex? (everyone laughs) They just all say Sashimi. – Shit, shit, shit, shit. (everyone laughs) – Why do you have so many pieces of paper that just say Sashimi? – We’re normally just
    slicing things in half. It’s kind of like how you make Sashimi. He says, (laughs) looks
    like that fish got his wish. To die.
    – Oh, that’s pretty good. – It needs work, but
    you guys did a good job. – You see Gene, like,
    pats Lester on the back. He’s like you’ll get it
    next time, bud, dang. (Nathan laughs) – At least Lester’s trying,
    Rick can barely form a sentence. – You see Rick is just like, has somehow ejected a CD from the little radio player. Uh, uh, uh, weapon, he throws it. – Fight’s over, Rick. (Caldwell laughs) – I helped. – That’s just polluting. – Oh no, he dives in after it. (everyone laughs) – Well, now that you guys have ruined our jet ski time,
    what are we doing here? – Oh, I’m so glad you
    asked, so, they take you back to the shore, I guess they pay for the damaged jet skis, they
    use their Questly Card. It’s one of the perks of
    being a verified knight. And then they kind of, they set you down. They get you some drinks, dry you off from your, you know,
    terrifying jet ski experience and Lester explains a
    deal, so we got a call from a local citizen of Monster Valley saying that, you know, surprise surprise there are monsters, and
    we’re here to take them out. Unfortunately, the message was super vague so we’re gonna need to track down the person that put in the app request and get a little more info out of them. So, we’re gonna scout out the area. If you wanna track down the person that posted the request and
    try and get some info out of them, maybe like
    even, I don’t know. Do, like, a quick sketch of
    what the monsters look like. That’ll help us have a better idea of how to find them and how to
    pound them into the ground. – Sounds great. – Stick us with the bullshit
    grunt work, love it. – It’s part of the grind, Jinah. – I don’t want to grind,
    I wanna be famous. (everyone laughs) – You see that as you’re arguing Gene is already posing
    for, like, a mob of people. Somebody hand Gene a guitar. – Oh, don’t. – And he does. – Oh, of course he does. – I hate Bean. – Oh, hey, this one’s, you know. A personal favorite of
    mine, it’s written by my close friend Eustace Flash. – Oh gosh. – This guy. – And he starts playing
    Beast Coast Livin’ again. – Of course he does. We just heard it.
    – Beast Coast Livin’. It’s a slowed down version.
    – Gene, it’s old news. ♪ Everybody’s dying, monsters on my left ♪ ♪ Monsters on my right ♪ ♪ My little brother’s cryin’ ♪ – You’d sound really good is
    the thing but also fuck you. – The lighters are coming out. – I can’t believe we’re listening to Bean instead of going into the woods. – Yeah, let’s stop listening
    to Bean and let’s go. – Calling him Bean now? – Yeah, Rox said it, I
    thought it was funny. – [Caldwell] It’s pretty funny. – That’s not his name? – No, that’s not his
    name, but it’s better. – Bean’s pretty good. – Bean’s pretty good. – Yeah. – You see as well that Rick is like wandering into the water, but every time the waves start coming in he goes (panicked screaming) So, yes.
    – What an idiot. – It seems like all three of the Movie Night Boys are pretty preoccupied at the moment, so you’re gonna have to do kind of the pre pro work here. Kind of the investigation, the legwork to find these beasts, luckily you do know the name of the person
    that put in the request. Her name is Oofelia Thatch, and she is waiting for you over in the town. Would you like to head there now? – Yeah. – Yeah, let’s go to the town. – Great, so you reluctantly wander into the town, it’s fairly deserted. You see it’s kind of dilapidated. You actually see, like, giant bite marks have been taken out of
    some of the buildings and there’s just huge monster
    footprints everywhere. It’s a real mess, but you do spot one lone traveler and as soon as she spots you, she
    begins running toward you at full speed, and despite her enormous backpack, she
    is moving very very fast. – Oh. – So, Oofelia, if you’d like to join us. – [Rekha] Yes. (everyone laughs) – Of course Rekha Shenkar
    playing Oofelia for us all. Thanks you so much for joining us. – Oh my God, it’s so hot out. (everyone laughs) – Do you have to carry all that stuff? – Yes, I might need it. – [Nathan] That’s so many logs. – [Rekha] I know, I might need a fire. (everyone laughs) – Awesome. – I like it, it’s like strength training too, I appreciate that. – I’m very weak. – Oh, well, you’re working on it. (everyone laughs) – Despite the amount
    that you carry every day? – Yeah, very weak, all my bones hurt. But I’m trying to move every day. – I see why you need the help. – Yes, I’m in great
    need of help right now. – I can tell. – We’re here to help. – Oh, okay, great, now,
    a monster came in here. Have you heard of that, there’s monsters all around this valley. – It’s called Monster Valley. – Monster Valley, yeah. – Okay, well, you know,
    it really should be a little more prominent on the brochures. I wouldn’t have moved here had I known. Okay, my whole family is aging. I moved them all here thinking it was a safe retirement place. (everyone laughs) And now I’m at my wit’s end, for you see a monster’s come in and taken my mother. – They took-ed your mother? – They took-ed my mother. – Oh no. – Yeah, and I need you
    to find this monster. My mama needs to come back home. – And that brings us to
    our drawing challenge. – Oh boy. – You are going to have to get Oofelia to describe these beasts so
    that you can hunt them down. The way that is gonna work within the realm of the canvas
    is we’re gonna be playing a little police sketch artist game. – Oh, wonderful. – So Oofelia is going to be describing a monster to each of you, there are three monsters roaming
    around Monster Valley that you must locate, some of the details might be a little fuzzy,
    but she’s gonna do her best and why don’t we go ahead
    and roll initiative? – Oh, sure. – Okay. – All right. – 16. – 16? – I got a nat one. – I got a nat one. – Whoa, all right, you guys
    can just leave for the day. – Yeah, I guess we’re not doing, yeah. – You’re not doing this one. – Not feeling it. – Cool, bye. – All right. – Just reach for my
    sketch book and fall over. – Yeah, I need to, I guess we need to have a roll-off between these
    two terrible rolls. – A bad roll-off. – I got an 11. – You got zero one. (everyone laughs) – Dang it. – It’s even worse somehow. – I got a one and a one. – That’s two ones, man, y’all are rolling all sorts of ones today, so you got. You got slightly higher, great, okay. – Ryjinah, by one, Ryjinah, you rolled the highest, so you may
    draw first if you so desire. – I so desire, let’s do this thing. – Then please, get into it, all right. – Okay, now, the monster that took my mom. She had a body that looked like ham. – A ham body. – Your mom or the monster? – The monster, my mom
    looks like me but older. – That’s nice. – [Nathan] Does she also
    have a big backpack? – [Rekha] Yes, that’s
    why it was incredible the amount of strength this monster had. She carried a grown woman
    holding a giant backpack. – [Nathan] Wow. – Not like me, I’m very weak. – That’s a tasty looking ham body. – So I’m drawing a ham, and
    then we’ll go from here. – Oh, you gotta make that
    bone a little musclier. I’m telling you this ham was strong. – A strong ham. – A strong ham. – Okay, sure. – She lifted my mama, she
    tooks my mama and her backpack. – Okay, a strong ham, now, was it a ham like this or was it, like,
    rotated a different way? Were we going?
    – Oh my. If you think I can remember where the legs of this ham were, you’re crazy. It was such an intense moment. You don’t wanna flash bomb memories. – [Jacob] I’m sure your life
    flashed before your eyes. – [Rekha] No, I didn’t have one. – [Nathan] Oh no. (everyone laughs) – [Rekha] A flash bomb
    memory of vivid memories. You remember what you were wearing. What the color of the walls were. I don’t remember a damn thing. (everyone laughs) – But you remember ham. – Yeah, it had a ham body for sure. That much I remember. – [Jacob] Like a veiny, muscular ham. – [Nathan] Oh wow. – [Rekha] I cannot tell you how this ham received its blood. (everyone laughs) I had no knowledge of
    the inner workings of its body, only of its torturous nature. (Nathan laughs) – Okay, sure, so we got a strong ham body. – Correct, yes. – That is a normal sentence to say. – Okay, now this fella,
    this, hoo, I don’t know. This monster had big eyes, big googly eyes on top of the ham. – On top of the ham, okay, sure. – [Rekha] Pointing in
    all which directions. He’s trying to swipe my whole big family, eyes pointing all over. – You have a big family? – I have a huge family. (Caldwell laughs) I thought this was a safe
    place for them to all retire. – They’re all aging? – All are aging, I’m the
    youngest person in my family. – How old are you, ’cause you don’t look that old but you sound so ancient. – I am 16. (everyone laughs) – And you’re making decisions for your family about where to move? – The next youngest
    person in my family is 84. – Oh, is that your mom? – That’s my brother. – Oh, okay. (everyone laughs) Wow. (everyone laughs) – Wow indeed. – Your mom really took
    a break between you two. – [Rekha] She got
    extremely busy with work. – [Nathan] Yeah, that’ll happen. We actually, we’re on that grind too. We understand.
    – [Rekha] Oh yeah? – [Nathan] Getting
    extremely busy with work. – [Rekha] What do you all do? – [Nathan] We, I mean, this. – [Jacob] Yeah, we are doing
    our job now, we do quests. – [Rekha] Oh, wow, and
    that pays full time? – [Nathan] We’re working, you know? We just got upgraded to
    – You know, not as much. – fellows, so we do get paid now. – We get a little less than minimum wage. – Yeah. – But that’s more than no wage. – Wow, sounds like a
    perma-lance sort of system. – Yep. – Oh wow. – It’s a bit of a perma-lance system. – That’s terrible. – It’s pretty bad. Sounds predatory.
    – So I’ve got eyes on a ham. – Okay. – I got eyes on a ham here. – One of them, did I tell you this? One of them. – I got eyes on a ham here. (everyone laughs) – Take the shot. – Did I tell you one of the eyes was blue? – One of the eyes was blue, okay. – Just one. – [Jacob] Yeah. – [Rekha] I couldn’t possibly tell you what color the other eyes were. Well, one of them was blue. – [Jacob] Of course it was. (everyone laughs) – [Rekha] You know,
    people don’t think that all these monsters have blue eyes but a lot of them do, it’s just the ones that get reported on don’t. – [Nathan] This one has blue eye. – [Jacob] This one has blue eye. Yeah, one blue eye,
    one beautiful blue eye. – All right, and then
    one of the last details I remember before I passed out. This thing had a whole lot of teeth. – Oh, no. (everyone laughs) – But, I think they were
    sort of, sort of everywhere. – Just everywhere. – [Rekha] Yeah. – [Jacob] Okay, yeah. – [Nathan] Like, embedded in the ham? – [Rekha] Yeah. – [Nathan] Okay, okay. – [Rekha] Yeah. – [Jacob] Yep, yep. – Not doing a ton of
    chewing with those, I guess. – Now, how did this thing grab your mom? – That’s a great question. (everyone laughs) So, that bone you got sticking out. You know, I thought for one brief second I thought this must be its arm. One brief moment in time, I thought this could be its arm, I realized it had a smaller arm
    coming out of the bone. And that’s what grabbed my mom. Out of the bone.
    – A smaller arm coming out of the bone.
    – Hey, why don’t you understand me? (everyone laughs) A small little arm coming out of the bone. – A smaller arm coming out of the bone. – [Jacob] I’ve been
    incredibly disrespectful. I’m sorry, you’re right.
    – [Rekha] I’m in grief. – [Jacob] You’re grieving right now so we’ll just get a small
    arm coming out of the bone. I think that’ll be good for everyone. Just a little baby’s hand.
    – And keep in mind it was holding my mom,
    no one’s gonna know. This could be some anybody but it has to be holding my
    mom for people to know. – [Nathan] Which looks like
    you but old, yeah, okay. – [Jacob] Okay, so I do need
    to get your mom in here. – [Nathan] Similar sort of outfit as well? – [Rekha] We wear the same clothes. – [Nathan] Oh, that’s nice. – Were there legs, how
    did this thing, like. Locomote its way?
    – Slither. – Slither, of course, so just. Sort of, like, maybe a wet trail. – [Rekha] Yeah, it was very wet. – [Jacob] A wet ham trail. – [Nathan] Maybe a less encumbered person would have been able to outrun it, but. – [Rekha] That’s what I thought too. I thought damn, of all the situations I could have been prepared for this is the one I was not prepared for. (everyone laughs) – [Julie] I’ve read about
    these monsters in my book. – [Rekha] Oh yeah? – [Julie] Yeah, they’re fast. – [Rekha] Oh no, do
    they like to eat women? Is she gonna eat my mama? – Well. I’m sure she’s fine.
    – I don’t know where it would go. – Would it just kind of try and like. Smash your mom against one of the teeth? – That’s kind of what
    chewing is, is it not? (everyone laughs) – [Jacob] So brutal. – [Nathan] Guess that hand
    is kind of like a tongue. – [Rekha] Right, just smashing food bits all against your teeth
    hoping to God it smooshes? (everyone laughs) – [Caldwell] Praying. – [Rekha] Praying, praying you can swallow it each time you take a bite. – [Caldwell] Hoping upon hope. Rah’oxah, do you remember from your book what this monster is called? – A Hamagon. (Caldwell laughs) – Oh, I wish that ham a gone. (everyone laughs) Better him or here, Rah’oxah. (gun shots) Hey, stop shooting. – Ah, sorry. (everyone laughs) A thousand apologies. – Oh, God. – [Rekha] Oh yeah, that’s
    picture perfect, mama. – [Jacob] So, the ham a here and then the ham a gone, here’s a
    depiction of making it. – [Caldwell] There it ham a go. – [Jacob] Making its escape. – [Rekha] That’s just as fast as it was moving, I couldn’t keep up. – [Jacob] How could you have? – [Nathan] Somebody clearly
    could have dealt with this. – [Caldwell] Holding too many logs. Impossible to chase this guy down. – [Nathan] Bye bye, there it go. – Oh man, this is a memory, this is a memory come to life, it
    exited my field of vision. – So, is that the monster you saw that stole your mom?
    – It’s very close to the monster that I saw. – Any more details or do you
    think that’s pretty much it? – [Rekha] I think that’s it. – All right. – You hate to see it leave
    but you love to watch it go. – Oh, an ass, it had, what an ass it had. (everyone laughs) – [Jacob] Indeed. A terrible impress.
    – [Julie] Where? – [Rekha] That bone. – [Julie] Oh yeah. – [Nathan] That bone’s
    pretty nicely cleft, yeah. – [Caldwell] Yeah. – [Jacob] Yeah, but let’s
    ass that up a little bit. – [Nathan] Yeah, please. – [Caldwell] If you would be so kind. – [Jacob] Oh, good. – [Nathan] There we go. – [Jacob] Yeah, there we go. – [Julie] Is that an ass, is that what an ass looks like?
    – Damn, if this thing hadn’t taken my mama, I would have asked it out. (everyone laughs) – Ham a come. – Oh, great. – So this is a good depiction of the? – I’d say so, yeah. – [Jacob] Well, my work here is done. – Thoroughly, but unfortunately your mom wasn’t the only
    one that was taken, right? – No, it’s true, did I not say that? Yeah, my daddy got taketed. (everyone laughs) – That’s my favorite Liam
    Neeson movie, Taketed. (everyone laughs) – That’s great. (everyone laughs) Well, Rox, I believe
    you’re next in the order. – [Julie] I am. – Would you like to draw? – Yeah, I would. – Wonderful. – And I’m to tell her what the
    monster that tooked my daddy? – Please, just as best you can. I know this is traumatic, I know this is pulling on some
    very dark memories. – Yeah, okay, to start
    off, he was a big square. – He was a big square? – Big square, the biggest
    square I’ve ever seen. Bigger than a building.
    – [Julie] Okay. Is it like a cube or just a square? – [Rekha] He was a cube. – [Julie] Oh, okay. – [Caldwell] The biggest square is a cube. – [Rekha] The biggest square. Squares upon squares.
    – [Caldwell] Yeah. – [Julie] Okay. – [Nathan] So many squares. – Yeah, and each square had
    a different personality. I don’t know how to say it,
    a different sort of mood. The square that took my
    daddy was very sassy. (everyone laughs) – A sassy square. – You want a sassy square? – I do believe there were probably nicer squares on the other sides but I can’t be sure, the square that took my daddy was sassy,
    big lipstick lips. Oh my God. (everyone laughs) – [Jacob] It’s like an early
    2000’s web comic character. – You captured something
    I forgot to mention. The square kind of
    looked like a storefront. Big awning mustache. – All right. – You’re describing a building. – No, no, this was much
    bigger than a building. – Is your dad just in a store? – No, no, I swear to God, I
    would know the difference. I’ve seen my dad in a store before. He picks up the candy for my house. This looks very different, this. He goes in the store, and
    this time the store ate him. – [Nathan] Oh no. – [Jacob] Not come back. – [Rekha] Yes, and granted, inside I did seek out the tops. (everyone laughs) And there was a man at the register. I swear to you.
    – [Julie] All right. – [Rekha] This was a monster, not a store. – [Nathan] Any sort of inventory inside that you could see, yeah.
    – Yes. My god, sodas, a deli counter, there was. – One of those taquito rollers? – Yes. – [Nathan] Yeah, yeah, okay, I
    think I’ve seen this monster. – Oh, so you’ve seen it? – Yeah. – The monster’s many deceptions. You know, it wants you to believe. – Yeah, it tricked my daddy, he likes to go buy little treats for the family. It tricked him into thinking hey. I’m just like one of those places but it was really a monster. – [Nathan] So this is like a mimic? – He’s like a mimic. you know how there are octopus that kind of looks like sand or something, these big arms. About to sit in a pile of sand. – I love to sit in piles of sand. – Then it takes you. – How did you know? – It takes you. – It takes you, I’m gonna be more careful when I go to sit in piles
    of sand out here, I guess. That was really, I was telling you on the train how much I was looking forward to sitting in piles of sand. – Yeah, I bet you’re thinking
    twice about that now. You don’t wanna get taken.
    – You better stop it. You better check, you better
    feel all the legs first. In the sand, there’s just eight legs. – There are hardly any
    good sitting piles of sand in Sitadelphia, I was
    really looking forward to Beast Coast, getting
    some good sand sits in. – It’s mostly octopus. – Now, Rah’oxah, I see you got this side pretty well taken care
    of, but there was a. – Do I? (everyone laughs) – It looks pretty accurate, and one thing I would like you to put, there was a sign on the front and
    it said 99 cent chicken. (everyone laughs) – Was it a part of the
    face, above the face? – It was in a sort of. – That’s a good deal. – You know where the collar, it kinda looks like it’s got a tie on right now. Where those little windows are. It had a sign that said 99 cent chicken. – [Julie] Okay. – [Nathan] How much chicken,
    you just said 99 cent chicken? – You know, in my horror and my trauma pardon me, I did not have the foresight to ask how much chicken I could get. – [Nathan] It just
    feels like it just says. Are you getting an entire chicken? Is it, like, an actual
    living chicken for 99 cents? – [Jacob] I mean, that’s
    how it gets you to go inside, you have to ask to find out. – [Caldwell] That’s a good point. – [Rekha] And that’s a great point. That must have been what tooked my daddy. He cannot turn down a chicken.
    – [Nathan] It’s a perfectly vague sign, yeah.
    – [Rekha] Yeah. – So, while Rox is trying to get this likeness down, while Rox is committing this to memory, I imagine you two are, like, paging through her monster book as well, do you
    see this monster in there? – Go ahead, Nathan. – Yeah, there’s, like, a whole section on mimics and, oh boy. (everyone laughs) – [Caldwell] Is this a
    specific type of mimic? – [Nathan] Yeah, this is the, um. – Here it comes. – Oh. – I sense it on the tip of your tongue. Just let it out, let it
    out, girl, you’ve got it. – Mim-enience Store-ick. (sad trombone) – Not even vaguely. Nothing.
    – That was bad, it was bad. Cut that. – [Jacob] Yeah. (everyone laughs) – Bodaganar. – This is Bodaganar. – Wow, incredible, so scary, it tooked my daddy, so don’t forget, it’s gotta have my daddy somewhere inside. – [Jacob] Just rustling around in there. – [Caldwell] Be sure to depict the daddy. – [Julia] What does your father look like? – [Rekha] Looks like me, but older. Little less hair, big backpack. – [Nathan] Just like attracts
    like in your family, sort of. – Well, we didn’t attract
    each other, they had me. – Well yeah, your mom and your dad both look like you, but older, so they look like each other, right? – Yeah, but it’s inherited
    on the mother’s side. If your mother’s father had a backpack then you have a, what are you saying? – I’m saying that if both of your parents look like you, that means they
    both look like each other. – What? – And they both wear backpacks. – You think my parents are siblings? – No, I’m just saying
    they look like each other. – We’re gonna rescue your daddy. – Thank you. – And we’re gonna get him, don’t worry. – Didn’t mean to confuse
    you, ma’am, I’m sorry. – I’m so confused, I need to sit. – Yeah, sit down, but be careful. Don’t sit in that pile of sand. It might be an octopus. (everyone laughs) – [Caldwell] Now, are
    there any more details? – [Julia] Anything on the front face? – Well, on that side face, you know. Remember how I told you each of these sides had a personality? The side of this thing had
    like a trash personality. Like a dumpster kind of
    overflowing with trash and a kind of, little rats
    and stuff on the side. – That’s the mood of this face? – Yeah, it’s a mood, it’s a trash face. – [Julia] Trash mood? – Yeah, like trash faced
    kind of on the side. – Okay. – Did this monster also slither? – No, great question. – [Nathan] Thank you. – This monster had a sort of
    little wheels on the bottom. – Oh, that’s cute. – Rolled right away, you
    never could have caught it. – [Rekha] Like a little pop up, yeah. Tiny little fucks, so tiny. – [Nathan] Oh, okay, I turned it into. This is a pop up bodega. – [Rekha] Pop up bodega, yeah. – [Nathan] It’s got little wheels like some sort of, like, night stand you can move around your house. – [Rekha] Yeah. – [Nathan] Like a tupperware
    that you could, like. – [Rekha] Yeah. – [Nathan] Storage unit. – [Rekha] Exactly. – [Jacob] But all it stores is her daddy. – [Rekha] Are those big banana eyes? (everyone laughs) – [Nathan] Oh, they’re
    big banana eyebrows, ah. – [Julia] Excuse you. – [Rekha] Yeah, that’s right,
    that feels like what I saw. (everyrone laughs) – [Nathan] Aww, it’s got
    a little trash fruit face. – [Rekha] This is what I mean, see? The front side was all sassy, this. The trash side I had no issue with. – [Nathan] Yeah, no one’s going in there. – [Rekha] Yeah. – [Caldwell] It’s trash. – [Nathan] It’s trash, oh, gross. – [Rekha] Yeah, it looks like it’s barfing out into the street, you know? – On reading in the monster book it says that’s how this monster
    excretes, so the trash side does all the shitting from its mouth. – The good news is both of these monsters look like they should
    be pretty easy to track. Your ham, ham a.
    – Ham come and ham gone. – Hamagon. – [All] Hamagon. – The Hamagon leaves a viscus slime trail and this one just has a bunch of trash coming out of it at all times. – [Caldwell] Yeah, this one’s just a 7/11. – [Nathan] I think, you know, I’m feeling. I’m feeling confident we might actually be able to find your parents. – [Rekha] Oh, perfect, I’m so happy. – [Jacob] A couple rats in there. – [Nathan] There you go. – [Julia] You said rats, am I forgetting any details on this garbage face? – [Rekha] No, this looks
    pretty accurate to what I saw. – [Caldwell] Rah’oxah, is that a big eggplant nose or just a giant trash bag? – Could be either. – It almost looks like a potato where there’s little
    sprouts coming off the eyes. – Oh yeah, when you leave
    a potato for too long. – And you can still eat those. – Yeah, yeah, it’s, I looked that up ’cause I was hungry, I wanted to use it for my breakfast hash browns. – [Caldwell] Oh, yeah. – Yeah, you can eat anything. (everyone laughs) – [Nathan] What’s in your backpack? – [Caldwell] Have you ever eaten cat food? – [Rekha] Oh yeah. – [Nathan] Yeah, okay, so, second person. – Yeah, this looks good, I mean, it looks scary as hell, but this is good. You asked what’s in my backpack,
    we don’t have the time. – I understand, I’m sorry. – We’ve got a whole ‘nother
    family member to try and save. – Yes. – It’s true. – [Caldwell] Well, that
    looks, like, pretty accurate. I think that that is
    the vision that you saw. – [Rekha] That’s what I saw. – [Caldwell] Do you want to describe the last monster to our friend Legzi here? – Yes, okay, now, this last monster took my twin sister who is older than me. – But she’s older, she’s your twin? – Yes, but mama had her a year before me. (everyone laughs) She was in labor a full year between twins.
    – I thought, okay. – January to January. (everyone laughs) – So, do you have the same birthday? – Yes. – Okay, just a year apart. – So, this monster look
    like two birds, but. (everyone laughs) It’s two birds, but there’s no head part so it’s just two of the fat parts. – Connected, okay, two
    birds connected at the neck. Got it, got it, got it, okay. – [Caldwell] Beautiful,
    that’s almost poetic. It’s almost like–
    – [Julia] I love the statement just two birds. – It just looks like two birds. – It’s kind of sad
    ’cause she took my twin. I used to be two birds,
    and I’m just one bird. – Were they the same looking bird? – No. – Okay. (everyone laughs) – Wouldn’t it be quaint if it were? – [Nathan] Yeah, describe
    each bird to me, please. – [Rekha] Okay, one of them was kind of pigeon like, you know what a pigeon is? – [Nathan] Yeah, yeah, yeah, we got lots of those in Sitadelphia. – [Rekha] Really? – [Nathan] Yep. – [Rekha] Oh, Sitadelphia, I
    love the angry sports fans. – [Nathan] Yeah. – [Rekha] What good people,
    the one look like pigeon. The other.
    – [Nathan] One looked like a pigeon, sure.
    – [Rekha] Was, now. You won’t believe me when I tell you. – [Nathan] I promise I’ll believe you. – [Rekha] Okay, the other
    was an ostrich, sort of. Do you have those in Sitadelphia? – [Nathan] Ostriches, at the zoo, yeah. – [Rekha] Yeah, Sitadelphia
    seems very nice. So this other one, so what was crazy about it, the ostrich is much taller. – [Nathan] Yeah. – So, the pigeon’s kind
    of hanging off the side. – Oh, so it’s really to
    scale, okay, gotcha, I got it. – It’s just like an ostrich
    with a bird whip for a head. – But they’re sisters,
    they both need each other. The pigeon can’t move around without the ostrich body, well, I suppose the ostrich doesn’t
    entirely need the pigeon. (everyone laughs) – But they’re friends. – It needs the pigeon to fly. – Rah’oxah, you absolutely
    know what the fuck is up because ostriches cannot fly, they can only lay eggs.
    – It’s in my books. It’s in my book.
    – Can only lay eggs. That’s all they can do. – And spawn a new
    population of useless birds. (everyone laughs) – [Caldwell] Not a fan of ostriches? – [Rekha] No, very
    useless, very small brain. – Rah’oxah, what does your
    book say about this creature? – It just says just two birds. – Just two birds? – [Julia] Yeah. – Just, like, spelled out as one word? – Well, that’s what the description says. – There’s a shruggy emoji after
    it too interestingly enough. – So, like, we didn’t know what to make of this, I guess,
    it’s called a Dibird. – Dibird, like dying or like two? – Like two, like, two, you’re fine. – Do you know what this thing eats? I was so concerned it
    was gonna eat my twin. – Do you know how it eats? – [Rekha] My God, no, I don’t. Maybe it’s got a slit
    between the two necks or maybe it eats out
    the ass, I don’t know. – Maybe it eats out the ass. – If you know, it’s too late. – Oh God, I don’t wanna know. – [Jacob] We consulted the monster book. Jinah and Rox, and in the description of how it eats, it says
    maybe it eats out the ass so I think you’re really on the money. – [Nathan] It’s just right next to the shruggy emoji in the description. – [Julia] I was ready
    to write it in myself but I did see that it was the next line. I just, I got bored reading after the first line, so I stopped. – Wow. Holy shit.
    – Look at that ostrich just rendered right there. – [Rekha] And they got those
    fucked up backward legs. – [Nathan] Oh yeah, them
    bird legs, they’re weird. – So crazy, you think they’re gonna run this way, but then they run this way. – No one should have legs like that. I’ve always said.
    – It’s crazy. – [Jacob] Pick a direction for your knees and stick with it.
    – [Rekha] Exactly. – [Jacob] This wishy-washy bullshit. – [Nathan] Yeah, get out of here. Well, I think those are
    technically the ankles. I think the knees are somewhere up here. And then this is
    – [Rekha] That is fucking disgusting.
    – [Nathan] the ankle, yeah. I think that, like, the way their legs are in proportion to their body, I took one biology class at
    Darkmuth, all the rest were. – Hey Legzi, could you shut the fuck up? – I’m trying to. – Thank you. – The knees are wrong and bad. – [Nathan] Okay, where
    was your twin sister? How did it grab her? – [Rekha] Well, she was in one of the little tufts of the
    ostrich, hidden away. Screaming.
    – [Nathan] Tucked away. Tucked away.
    – [Julia] She, like. Go in there to take a nap ’cause that’s what I would do, it looks comfy. – My God, I hope she’s taking a nap. I hope that’s the worst
    of what’s happened to her. Yeah, please, for my own peace of mind draw my twin sister, giant backpack slightly older than me, taking a nap in the tufts of this ostrich. – [Nathan] Just screaming. – [Rekha] Just screaming in her sleep. – [Nathan] Night screaming. – [Rekha] She has horrible sleep apnea. (everyone laughs) She looks just like me. – [Nathan] Yeah, that’s you, right? You got the little backpack on. – [Caldwell] Now, were
    there any more details about this hideous beast
    that you can recall? – For some reason, I
    do imagine this ostrich had a little toe ring
    on, and I can’t tell you if that’s real or if I’m just putting things where they don’t belong. – [Nathan] Aw, I hate that,
    it’s, don’t put a ring there. – You gotta walk on that. – You gotta walk on that, why are you buying fancy jewelry for your feet? – Why are you directing
    my eyes to your feet? That’s shiny.
    – Exactly. Do you like feet, do you hate them? – I like leg based
    deception, that’s sort of my rogue-ish archetype, but yeah. I don’t just like looking at feet, no. – See, and that’s what’s crazy. You know, an ostrich is
    mostly feet and legs. – [Nathan] Yeah. – It’s like, I guess, why would you wanna advertise that, just looks crazy. – [Nathan] Trying to gussy up a dinosaur. – [Rekha] Yeah, now this
    looks like what I saw. How the hell does it see, my God. Maybe it eats out the ostrich’s butt and sees out the pigeon’s
    butt or something. – [Nathan] Okay, so
    let’s just, like, maybe. I’m just gonna add some, like, so. – [Rekha] Yeah, put like a, yeah. A little close up of it eating a sandwich so everybody knows this is
    – [Nathan] Yeah, looks like Yeah, he has a little sandwich
    – [Rekha] where the food goes. – [Nathan] going in here. – [Caldwell] Gosh, I can’t
    wait to see this go in. – [Nathan] Yeah, so it’s like sandwich going in there, and the feathers. – [Caldwell] Yep. – [Nathan] Like that,
    and then here we’ve got. – I think I’m gonna need to see more of a constriction.
    – A puckered asshole. – More of a constriction. – Okay, okay. – We’re trying to find
    this monster, Legzi. If you’re not accurate.
    – I don’t want you to confuse this and hurt the wrong animal. – [Nathan] So, like,
    we’ve got the feathers coming around, but then
    this is flesh right there. – [All] Oh. (all talk over each other) – Is that good, is that what you wanted? – Yep. – Is that what the people want to see? – There it is. – In this drawing, good. – [Caldwell] That’s an A
    plus sphincter right there. – [Nathan] And then here we’ve got same idea, but again, but it’s an eyeball. – [Rekha] Oh, and I do
    remember, that eyeball was blue. – [Nathan] Okay, let me get,
    let me color that in for you. – [Caldwell] What a
    fantastical place this is. – No one should live here. – It’s horrifying,
    horrible place to retire. – You gotta move. – I would love to as soon as I get all my family back,
    I would love to move. How is Sitadelphia, is the rent okay? – Eh, it’s a little high. – You need a few roommates, but you’ve got a big family, so I
    think that should be okay. – Now, what do you do for work mostly? – I carry everything across the city. I’m like a Postmates type of person. – Okay, yeah. – Okay, so it’s another sort of perma-lance sort of, yeah, okay. So you get it, yeah,
    it’s bad for everyone. Is this it?
    – So, are you delivering wood to someone? – No, the wood is mine, I deliver food. – I see that’s what’s in the backpack. – No, that’s, I carry it in my hand. I’m not on the clock right now. – What’s in the backpack? – Why do you need to know? – I don’t, it’s so big. – Who is she talking to? – I don’t know, I’m a little concerned. – You see that I’m just
    looking at a piece of paper. A blank piece of paper, screaming. – She’s screaming why do you need to know at a piece of paper, um. – Okay, so I think we have, like. Pretty good ways to track
    all of these monsters. We’ve got, like, feathers,
    probably droppings, right? – [Jacob] Sandwich bits. – Sandwich bits, oh, and like, the distinctive footprint of a toe ring. – Oh yeah, that’s gonna. – Oh yeah, toe ring footprint
    looks very different. You know, when Jesus walked in the sand versus when he walked in the sand with a toe ring, they look very different, – Who’s Jesus? (everyone laughs) – It’s a guy that lives here. – He also wears a toe ring. – You know the classic saying, like. When there was one set of footprints an octopus was stealing me away. (everyone laughs) – And you were walking on an octopus. It was not a bed of sand. (everyone laughs) – All right, so. – Oh, God. – I think what happens is
    you present your findings to The Movie Night Boys
    and they’re thrilled. They’re just like all right, this is not what we expected, but I think this will definitely be enough information so I think the hunt can begin. So it looks like phase
    two of our operation will be beginning shortly,
    but before that can happen you need to make sure that Oofelia signs off on your Questly Assignment. – Oh. – Oh yeah, Oofelia, can you just like sign on this thing and.
    – Huh? – Well, if you sign it, it says that we did the job you wanted us to do. – What, are you gonna take
    my signature for something? – I can’t imagine what I’d use it for. – It’s your digital signature. – Oh no. – Yeah, I know, it’s. – You promise you won’t steal my identity? – We won’t. – I don’t want it. – I don’t know what Ludwig is doing with the information of
    people that use his app but, you know, it’s one of those things. You know, if it’s free, you’re the product sort of thing.
    – Okay, wow. Wow.
    – [Nathan] That’s technology. Yeah.
    – Wow, okay, well, I’ll do it. You guys have been so nice trying to help find my family, I’ll do it, Please don’t steal my identity. – We won’t. – Yeah, we won’t. – Really is being very difficult. – Your life is tragic. – Oh, thank you. (everyone laughs) – You see a little notification pops up on the screen that says we
    don’t want your identity. (everyone laughs) – Oh, thank God. – [Jacob] They’re always listening. – Your identity is bad, keep it. – Thank God. – And with that, you have
    completed another quest. You’ve got a good hold on these monsters. Pretty soon, you’ll be hunting them down with the Movie Night Boys, but for now it is time for you to level
    up before the hunt begins. (everyone exclaims in approval) – All right, look at us. – So, Rekha, if you wouldn’t mind dawning the Cloak of Judgment. – Ooh. – It is time for us to award
    the Five Star Blessing. – Thank you, do I have to sit up for this? – Oh, sure. – Okay, or, let’s see, I’ll just tuck it around the shirt, wow, incredible. – And you get to use
    your normal voice now. – [All] Yeah. – What do you mean? – Huh? – Huh? – That is my normal voice. (everyone laughs) – So, the way this works is of course our heroes have been given a reward by the app, but one of them will be chosen by the algorithm to receive a special Five Star
    Blessing, and you shall serve the role of the algorithm and award that to one of our players. Let’s review all the
    drawings we’ve seen today. – [All] Wow. (everyone laughs) – We sure did it. – Do you ever just look at your art and go I should probably stop? (everyone laughs) – That’s it for me, folks. (Caldwell laughs) – I should have stopped
    before I made this. – Yeah. – It could be the last one. – Yeah. – I don’t think any of these are the worst thing we’ve
    drawn in this series. – No. – No, certainly not. – Mine might be. (Nathan laughs) – [Caldwell] I mean, all
    of these are all a little below the sticky piss tier
    but they’re pretty good. – So, I’m noticing either the
    ham, what wonderful veins. What beautiful veins on that ham. It’s so horrible, okay, the idea of biting into a piece of ham that has teeth in it is so viscerally disturbing. It’s a really horrifying monster. I also really appreciate the arm. That looks like a nice, like, tendon coming out of it, which
    is pretty disgusting and I like the blue eye because listen. There’s a lot of pale faced blue eye bad people in this world, and
    they don’t get reported on. (everyone laughs) So, I like that, that’s
    nice, political commentary. – Wow. – All right, I’ll go,
    don’t worry about it. – And I ain’t talking about you. (everyone laughs) – [Caldwell] What did you do? – I don’t know. – So this ham is very beautiful. Moving on to our storefront, I really love this storefront, I truly had nothing going into this, and I
    really like what you did, I honest to God think
    this, I’m a vegetarian. I honestly think I can be
    tricked by this monster because 99 cent chicken, I would be like what, how much chicken? – Yeah, what’s. – Yeah, I have to know. – Is it any good? – Is it good, it’s their banner. It’s not even just the sign. It’s a banner, like, they’re
    having a liquidation sale. – Yeah, chicken is such a vague, like. Chicken can mean anything, it can. I’m gonna have.
    – And that’s beautiful. – I’m gonna have chicken for dinner it’s like, what do you mean? – Yeah, chicken is in
    the eye of the beholder. – Very true, I’m just picturing all of the victims that walk in to this store and go hey, how much chicken, and then. (screams) – That’s also a really
    creative, I haven’t seen that as a monster idea, like a business. Like, capitalism is killing us. – [Caldwell] Damn. – Political commentary again. – Again. Holy shit, wow.
    – So charged. – This is very charged,
    I also like the trash. The trash one’s just
    cute, that’s really cute. That’s like the sleepy, it’s like if The Odd Couple, like Felix and Oscar and it’s like the little Oscar. So, I like that, moving
    on to the two birds. This is beautiful, it looks like honestly, it looks like Jeremy which was Sokhbarr’s Scream Beast from Escape from the Bloodkeep. – Which is a great series
    everyone should watch. Yeah, if you like this
    – On Dropout. Subscribe today.
    – And you haven’t watched it yet, yeah. – Or whatever. – Just a click away. – Hey, you were in that too. – I was, that was my first D&D. This is my second. – This is definitely D&D. Yeah.
    – [Caldwell] It’s like a half. (everyone laughs) – I really appreciate the anal sandwich and the optical anus. – I’m writing down anal sandwich as one of the quotes from today.
    – Please do, please do. – Don’t google that. – Yes, and I like that this is sort of. You know, the like join or die or like the Ben Franklin.
    – [Caldwell] Don’t tread on me.
    – Yeah, yeah. This looks like the snake eating its. This just like iconography
    of like the United States. – Can we please come up with a slogan that would be associated with this drawing similar to don’t tread
    on me, what wouLd the faction slogan for this drawing be? – [Julia] Unflappale? – [Rekha] Ooh, very flappable. – [Nathan] Don’t ruffle my feathers. – [Jacob] Maybe it eats out the ass. – [Rekha] Don’t, don’t, please bread on me, ’cause it’s bird. – ‘Cause it’s birds. – And they love bread. – [Nathan] It’s don’t bread on me and then in parentheses maybe. – [Rekha] But please bread on me. – [Nathan] Maybe it eats out the ass. – [Jacob] Yeah, maybe it eats out the ass. – [Rekha] Yes, as I appreciate that and I love this little toe ring. I think that’s cute, it makes me feel like this ostrich came from somewhere and has, like, a girlfriend
    or boyfriend, whatever. A partner, and they like
    wanna look cute today while stealing
    – It wants people to look at its feet.
    – or killing someone. Yeah, so that’s my thoughts
    on all of them, now I vote? – Now you vote, unfortunately
    you have to pick a favorite. – Okay, wow, okay, can I say visually they’re all very very very stunning but I think the one that kind of experimented with what I think is a monster is our 99 cent chicken store. – 99 cent chicken, woo. – Because I’m like wow, I guess every business is a monster
    – When you think about it. – When you think about it. – Little bit. Little bit.
    – Mind blowing. – Chicken. (everyone laughs) – Yay. (everyone cheers) – [Caldwell] All right,
    yeah, is that your first. First Five Star Blessing?
    – It’s my first win. Yeah.
    – Really? You made conceptually
    a terrifying monster. – Thank you. – Now, this feels bad
    because it’s your first win but I do have this
    Sketchcraft ability now. – Oh my God, you wouldn’t. – Called OC Swipe which allows me to steal someone else’s
    drawing and make it my own. – You shouldn’t and wouldn’t. – And I checked with Caldwell if there was any sort of limitation on
    when I can use this ability. – [Julia] Yes. – And what was your answer? – I was a fool and I
    answered I don’t know. It seems fun, do it whenever. – But you said he had to roll. – I did say that you have to roll. – I have to roll, so
    this is a cunning roll? – I think this is gonna be a raw roll. I don’t think you get to add your. – I don’t get to add my
    plus seven cunning bonus? – You don’t get to add
    your big bonus to this. – Okay, what do I have to beat? – Um, I’m not telling you. – Okay, that’s a seven. – You didn’t beat it. – Yes. – What was it? – I had to go for it, I had to go for it. – I was gonna set the DC at 10 so, you almost cleared it, but not enough. – Okay, I had to go for it. You know what, I’ve learned from Al Piss. – [Caldwell] That’s true. – The best ideas come from other people and you just have to
    steal them for yourself. – That’s true. – [Rekha] That’s beautiful. – [Nathan] That’s what I’ve been learning. – You’re not the same
    since you met Al Piss. You’re not the Legzi I knew.
    – I don’t like this Legzi. – I’m growing up, we’re all growing up. This is about us figuring out navigating the world as adults. – This Legzi sucks. – But if you do it at the expense of your friends, then is it really worth it? – Shit. – Yes. – Maybe it eats out the ass. (everyone laughs) – Oofie, no. – Yes. (everyone laughs) – Now I’m a little mad at Legzi. – Yeah. – Fun. – It wasn’t worth it. (everyone laughs) – So, let’s ride that bitter
    feeling with some items. (everyone cheers) Okay, so Rekha is gonna pull some items out of this bag and then we’re gonna talk about then, Rah’oxah, of course. You get first swipe, you get first pick. – Oh, I need to pay attention. – So once again we have
    the Drawgon’s Blood. This is the blood of the graphite lizard. When injected into the target, you can control their hand with yours. You basically put your
    hand on top of theirs and make them draw
    whatever it is you want. Thank you Ben Ridley from
    the Discord for that. I’ll put it right here. – Oh, fun, okay. – And next we have, oh, look at this. We have a bottle opener key chain. – What? – Uh oh. – It is useless within the world of Drawga but it can open bottles and
    it’s shaped like a horse. – Aw, nice. – [Caldwell] There you go. – What the, what? – [Caldwell] Gonna put that right there. – That’s an item in this game? – Yeah. (everyone laughs) All right, what else we got?
    – I can’t believe this, wow. – Ooh, this is the Robo Remote. You and the other players each take a turn adding to an exquisite
    corpse style giant robot that you then pilot in battle. – Aw, that’s rad. – Yeah. – [Nathan] That’s really cool. – I mean it’s not as cool as the key chain but it’s pretty dope. – It is horse shaped. – I think that’s pretty cool. – It’s shaped like a horse is the thing. – Okay. – And then, we have five dollars. Which, I mean, y’all are all pretty cash poor so this wouldn’t be bad. I’ll just.
    – If you don’t want it I’ll take it. (everyone laughs) – What the fuck is happening? – You can’t all be winners. – What is this, what? – You might need that. – Yeah, it’s true. – Okay. – You never know, all right, so. Rah’oxah, you get first crack. What would you like? – I’ll take the first item. – Oh, the Drawgon’s Blood? Fantastic.
    – [Julia] Yeah I’ll take that. – All right, there you go, that’s a fun one, somebody hand that on down. – Thank you. – Cool, and that brings us
    to Ryjiena and Rah’oxah. Do you wanna trade in your skill point or are you just gonna take that point. – I’m taking the point. – Taking the point, taking the L. – I’m on my way to 10. – [Caldwell] Wow. – I’m gonna get there. – [Caldwell] You’re gonna get there. – That key chain is tempting, huh? (everyone laughs) – So many uses. – So many uses, well, one. – It’s not my place to say, but I think skipping out
    on a skill point to get a cool key chain is an
    extremely Ryjiena move. – Fuck dude, you’re right,
    give me the key chain. – Yeah. – Yes. – Give me the horse. – Giddy up. – Hell yeah, giddy up, partner, yee haw. This is the shit, how does this even work as a bottle opener? – It’s very bad. – Yeah. – I think you just kind of, like. Smash it against the
    bottle until it comes off. – You smash the bottle, you
    can just do it with anything. – Yeah, it can open anything, you just have to, like, really smash it, windows? – Yeah. – I guess, like, you know, wounds. You can open a wound with it. – Oh my God, if you wanna
    take your tooth out. Extract that, you just
    bang it on your mouth. – [Jacob] Easy peasy, yeah. – Yeah, that little
    pony can hold anything. – Yeah, this is our first pony now. Now, when Ludwig asks us how many ponies we have, we have one. – We got one pony. – We have one pony. – You’re beginning your
    acquisition, congratulations. Are you gonna name your pony? – I’m gonna think on it. – Okay. – I found the part that
    you open a bottle with and it’s not where you’d expect. You’d think it’d be the tail, you think it would be the ears, maybe the mane? It’s the knee. (Caldwell laughs) – [Rekha] That’s a strong knee. – [Nathan] That’s a strong sharp knee.
    – [Rekha] That’s a Julia knee. – That’s a Julia knee. – You use the horse’s
    chin as, like, leverage? – Yeah. – Counterpoint, I think
    it goes upside down and you use the hook,
    you use the tail hook. – [Julia] It doesn’t seem sharp enough. – Does it have multiple options? – We need a beer. – I think there’s a lot of options. – Wait, open this. (everyone laughs) – We have a lot of bottles back there. – [Rekha] That’s true. – But I don’t think that they are. – They’re all twist offs, although I have thought on it. – You thought on it? – Yes, I’m gonna name the horse Parker. – Unbelievable. – The only Parker that I know. My one and only Parker, my beautiful boy. – I can’t believe you’ve done this. – Where’s my cat? – I don’t know any other Parkers. I figured it’s, like, a good name to use. – I want you to do a roll off. I wanna see what Parker and
    Parker think of each other. – Where is Parker? – Parker’s around, I think Parker– – I got a two. – I got a 10. – Ehh. – A little contentious. – Parker likes Parker, but
    Parker doesn’t like Parker. (everyone laughs) – Is that clear? (laughs) – Relationship dynamics, write it down. Get it memorized, so great, we
    have two Parkers, fantastic. Normal and good, any adventure should have two characters with the same name. – Any adventure with three people should have two characters. – That’s how we do it at Drawga and I wouldn’t have it any other way. – Now I need a Parker. – You each need your Parker partner. Well, Rekha, thank you so much. – Thank you for having me. – Absolutely, it was a delight. – Well, I had fun. – We hope that Oofelia
    can find her family. I’m sure that our heroes will do their best to recover them. – If I know Oofelia, she’ll
    probably die before it happens. She’ll slowly pass away in her sleep. – At the age of 16. (everyone laughs) – Wonderful. – Fantastic. – Well, awesome, thank you so much. – [Rekha] Thank you. – Do you have any parting
    advice for our players? – Wow, as me or as Oofelia? – Either. – Okay, as Oofelia,
    carry as much as you can wherever you can all the time. Make it as heavy as possible
    and never put it down. – That is good advice. – Yeah. – That’s the end of it? – [Rekha] Yeah. – Rox already knew that, that’s part of training regimen.
    – Yeah, I like it, I like it. I’m writing it down in my book. – Make it as heavy as possible
    and as plentiful as possible. If you’re not breaking your
    back, you’re not journeying. – Wow. – Wow. – I disagree, but thank you. – Sure. – You’re welcome, goodbye. – Everyone give Rekha a hand. – [Rekha] Thank you,
    thank you for having me. – [Caldwell] Thank you so much, bye, – [All] Bye. – Bye Rekha. – Bye Rekha. – [Rekha] Bye. – Can’t believe no one sprang for this. It’s five Somewherican dollars. That can buy you a sandwich. – Who’s face is that on the
    five Somewherican dollar bill? – Oh, of course, that’s
    obviously Ambraham. (everyone laughs) – Ambraham. – Ambraham Loncoln. – Ambraham Loncoln, the
    first pig president. – He had a lot of adversity
    to overcome, and he did it. – Yeah, the Somewherican history is rich and full of intrigue. – You know what kind of hat he wore? – Porkpie? – [Caldwell] Thank you. All right, let’s go.
    – My man. – Let’s go, let’s go,
    that’s the heat we bring. So, after you kind of reassure Oofie that you’re gonna be able
    to find these monsters you regroup with the Movie Night Boys and show them your
    drawings and they’re like oh, yeah, these are great, we can track them down easy, you show them all the notes that you’ve
    made in your book, Rah’oxah. Like, extra details about, like. Droppings and ham slime trails and they are just, like, super impressed. So, basically what happens now is you guys track down these monsters and yeah. You basically just beat
    the shit out of them. – Oh, hell yeah. – Yeah, I think, like, summer jams are pumping as you do this, why don’t we go down the table, describe how you kick these monster’s asses. – Well, Legzi obviously is gonna be stealthing around, following Lester’s lead trying to pick up any moves
    that she can from him. But also I think is a little bit racked with guilt, like, she got so excited about her new abilities. This new way of thinking
    that she picked up from Al Piss that, who
    she really respected because he’s sort of
    like the ultimate rogue. He steals ideas, the most
    intangible of things. But she never meant to
    hurt her friend Rah’oxah and so I think while this is happening she’s having a heartfelt confession to Rah’oxah saying all of this. Saying that she lost sight of what was really important and that she understands if Rah’oxah can’t forgive her right now but she hopes that some
    day she might be able to and saying this, of course, ruins her stealthiness, and so
    she doesn’t do the best job. – Right, so then, this, like, ham hand reaches in and grabs you for a second. Oh, gross, oh, oh, oh, stop, oh, oh, and. – It’s, like, banging
    you against its tooth. – She does do a pretty cool knife throw right up the Dibird’s ass. – [Caldwell] Oh, right in the ass? – Right in the ass, right in the ass eye. – The ass eye, so it’s blinded. – Yeah. – Oh, that’s great, that’s gonna make it much easier to kill, awesome work. Ryjinah, what do you do? – Jinah’s basically just trying to look as cool as possible, there’s a lot of press here, a lot of fans ’cause the Movie Night Boys are
    here doing their thing. People love it, babies are flying everywhere ’cause Gene’s around. – Gene. – So Jinah’s trying to
    do some fancy moves, like trying to, like, make a bone come out of the ground, it like,
    launches her in the air and she does, like, a flip,
    and like, rains down bones but whenever she’s about to, like, get a really good hit on a monster Gene leaps in and knocks
    it out of the way instead. Like, does a good hit himself and so Jinah’s just, like, fuming, every time Gene dances in, does a cool pose and, like, whacks a
    monster with his guitar. – Oh, he’s using his guitar? – Yeah. – Oh, that is pretty cool though. – It’s pretty cool but
    also what a douchebag. – Seriously. – Probably says something like that’s why I call it my ax. (Caldwell laughs) – He does say that, in fact he says that three times and everyone’s like a-ha, a-ha, uh-huh, he just
    keeps doing the same goof. – He’s got a Roladex that’s just that joke over and over again. (everyone laughs) – I really struck a chord, everyone flips out when he does a new joke. – Oh, that’s a new joke, yeah. Give me a raw roll. – Raw roll. – Raw roll. – I wanna see if people
    recognize Barf Girl. – It’s a three. – A three, here’s what I think you do. You start getting fed up with Gene kind of stealing your spotlight so you’re like I’m
    gonna do what I do best. I’m gonna barf, gonna barf, and you just try and barf and you just, like. Dry cough, you just dry hack, you can’t get anything up, and like,
    everybody ignores it. Like, no one is taking photos of you. The legend of Barf Girl
    is dying before your eyes. – No, come on, when I needed you the most. My barf failed me, where’s the cat food? – Tragic. (Caldwell laughs) I think you definitely ate it
    all on the train ride over. Uh, Rah’oxah, what are you doing? – So she’s going to go
    find the pop-up-bodega-nar with Barbara or whoever and, you know. She finds it because she follows all the garbage, you know, there’s not a lot of garbage in the wilderness unless you’re on, like,
    bad populated trail with people who say they like to go hiking just go take pictures, dump all
    their trash, and then leave. – It’s not personal at all, clearly. – Not personal, but. – Rick picks up the trash
    and just slowly starts going. – But you can’t see him doing that because he’s wearing a helmet. – He is wearing a helmet. – But you can tell that his mouth is open just by the way he’s bringing the trash up to his mouth.
    – You do you. I’m not here to tell you how to live your life.
    – [Jacob] Rah’oxah’s not gonna stop him.
    – [Julia] No. – Boom, oh right. – I’m not here to tell you how to live your life, I find
    the pop-up-bodega-nar and, like, I ask it if it wants to fight ’cause I don’t wanna, like, I don’t wanna fight this thing that’s just trying to live its life, you know,
    but I do wanna get. I do wanna help this person, the dad that’s in the pop-up-bodega-nar. So I kind of just, I try to pick it up from one side and just flip it onto one of its edges,
    so its little wheels can’t reach the ground anymore. – Great, great. – So then I can open the door, pop in. Grab hum, and drop him out. – Aww. – And then maybe I put him back down and try to, like, find something
    to fix the door closed. – Ask how much chicken you get. How much chicken is the 99 cents chicken? – I grab the dad, I pop him out and I just kind of yell into this body of this monster, just, what’s
    the deal with the chicken? – You hear this voice from deep within go, you get a fuck ton. – Oh dang, that’s a great deal. – No wonder they keep going in there. – Yeah. – I still have questions. – Okay. – I have $70, hold on, hold on. I’ll buy, you know what,
    give me three rounds. (laughs) – Three rounds. – I’m gonna get one for
    me and my two friends. – You see this. – And then give me one
    tiny round for Parker. – For Parker, obviously,
    you see this, like. – The key chain can’t eat, oh, dumb idiot. – Two Parkers, you
    gotta keep that in mind. – Oh, right, oh dang, aw. – You see this stream of chicken nuggets just erupt from the store, boom. It just flies out like a
    laser beam made of poultry and I guess you three
    just open your mouths. – I take out my wallet, my little bag of holding, and I go
    DJ, do what you do best. (Caldwell mimics vacuum sound) – And he just sucks up a bunch of the chicken for later and I put it back. – Amazing, three metric
    fuck tons of chicken go into your wallet of holding. – Oh, God, DJ’s gonna be a little sick. Ever since he became an adult. He can’t handle fried food so much. – And that is a lot of
    fried food, so yeah. Not only have you defeated these monsters. You’ve earned I guess an
    impossible amount of chicken so congratulations, there you go. – All right, it’s gonna be
    great for our budget living since we are still being
    paid below minimum wage. – So you regroup with the Movie Night Boys after this epic battle,
    and they’re kind of like all patting you on the back, like, really shaking your hands, like, pumping you up. They think you did a great job and then Lester kind
    of pulls you all aside and says so I just heard from HQ and it turns out that was your final test. It’s time for you to get verified. – Wow, that was the only
    test of being a fellow. – Fellow’s a real short, they just need to have the hierarchy, it seems like. – Yeah, It’s corporate. – Well, some slots opened up, it’s really just kind of more of, like, a holding pattern thing that we put people in. – Yeah, and you can punt them sometimes. – Exactly, yeah, you can thin the herd. But yeah, Ludwig really likes what he’s seen in you, you really
    handled that monster in a really creative, fun way. So we think you’ve got what
    it takes to be verified so, if you’re cool with it, we’re gonna head back to HQ right
    now and Ludwig’s gonna perform the induction ceremony. – Doesn’t sound suspicious
    at all, let’s do it. – All right, cool. – Let’s go, I wanna get verified. – Hell yeah. – So you all hop back on
    the Somewherica Express. You take the long train ride home. Do you talk about
    anything on the ride home or are you kinda just focused in on this process, on getting verified? – Think we’re all just
    stuffing our faces with nugs. – Yeah, I’m opening any bottle. Any bottle anyone needs,
    I’m going down the car. – Oh shit. – And I’m like, oh, can I, oh, please allow me, oh yes, please allow me. – Give me another roll, you
    can use wisdom this time. – That’s an eight plus my
    wisdom which is five, so 13. – 13, Barf Girl is fading,
    but the Bottle Gal is rising. – Bottle Gal is on the rise. – Bottle Gal rising. – She’s got that fancy horse opener and she’s coming for your bottles. – Yee haw. – Yee haw, motherfucker,
    that’s her catchphrase. – The Bottle Gal is here, yeah. So, I think people are like, just. I needed a bottle opener and then all of a sudden, the Bottle Gal was there. – There she was. – There she was, yee
    haw, ride ’em cowgirl. (everyone laughs) So, you spend this long train ride stuffing your faces with chicken opening bottles left and right. And then at long last, you
    arrive at the Questly Campus. – [Nathan] Oh dang. – [Julia] Wow. – Which is as beautiful and pristine as it is labyrinthian and complex. You barely have a moment
    to dwell on this though because as soon as you set foot on the campus, the Movie
    Night Boys tell you about your final final challenge. – Two finals? – You know how it is, baby. – You don’t know what final means. You don’t just get to say a word twice and have it negate the
    meaning of the first word. – Got ‘cha. – [Jacob] Oh, he got us. – Listen, when you work at
    Questly, everything’s a quest. – All right. – So, Lester leans in and tells you that your final challenge
    will be to find Ludwig who is hiding in the conference room at the beating heart of
    this maze like structure. To become verified, you must find him. They wish you all the best of luck. Lester shakes your hands, Gene hands you their guitar, Jinah. – I can’t, I don’t know how to play this. – It minor illusions
    into a baby, got ‘cha. – Oh no, I can’t use this either. – [Nathan] You don’t know how
    to play that either, yeah. – Nah, I’ll take it
    back, it’s just a joke. You see Rick looks at the baby
    and goes why is it so small? And then Lester kind of, like. Shoves them aside, waves, wishes you best of luck, and then
    they kind of just vanish leaving you in front of the Questly HQ. You all take a deep breath and then you head in and take your final
    step towards verification. And that is where we will end our session. – [Nathan] Nice. – Woo. – Yes. – [Caldwell] All right. – Finally heading in the right direction. – Yeah, on the up and up. – Things are looking up. – Yeah, things could be worse. – We’ve got all these. – They have been. – These chicky nugs. – You do have a surplus of nugs. Please remember that, that
    will be very important for the challenges to come, thank you all so much for watching,
    thank you to Rekha Shankar for her amazing role as Oofelia. Thank you to our players,
    this has been such a treat. I look forward to the next
    episode but until then we have to say goodbye
    and we are very sorry. – [All] Sorry. – Bye. – Bye. (chimes) – See you in the board
    room, you pitiful fools. – Who’s this guy? (everyone laughs) – Renauld, We’re not rivals. – Rivals. – Do we press the button? – [Jacob] I mean. – There’s a big empty room. – There’s nothing else. – Rah’oxah presses the button. – And you see that there are nine rooms in Questly for you to explore. Anywhere you wanna go,
    Wayne can assist you and perhaps help you
    find this secret room. We’re working our core. – Just make him do this
    for as long as you want. (everyone laughs) – If you stop bouncing, you die. – Glad we used it for this. – These punches can fix. – Oh my God, you fixed the printer so good that it prints out a clue. (everyone laughs) – The printer’s my best friend. – Thank you for fixing me. – Doesn’t he have a relaxing presence? – Friendship is power. – Friendship is power.

    Cruise Ship: Moving In    **My first day**
    Articles, Blog

    Cruise Ship: Moving In **My first day**

    January 12, 2020


    hey as some of you know I am a musician
    working on board cruise ships and today I want to show you what it’s like to
    move in My name’s Adam and I work on a ship, and this is cruise ship living. hey it’s me Adam shenk. I wanted to do a bit of a video log. I just signed
    on to my new ship and this is always kind of the most exciting and weird
    day of the contract because I’m just getting to a new ship for the first time
    so I want to kind of walk you through my routine I guess. Embark day is always a
    clusterfuck You have guests leaving in the morning and then guests
    coming right on. The housekeeping department is crazy slammed, they’re
    getting suitcases on the ship so it’s always a bit of a mess. It wasn’t too bad
    today. I had to wait around for a little bit and then my room key wasn’t working.
    Sometimes it’s very unclear who to go to for this or that and you have to just
    sort of figure it out. I just asked some people in the hallway
    and they let me in This is my cabin I haven’t unpacked anything yet. Let’s just
    do first impressions This is pretty typical for a band leader
    cabin. I usually get my own room around this size. It’s nice and cool in here. The
    a/c is kickin’. This is my favorite part: You come in the door and then there’s a
    curtain so like basically I have a foyer This is kind of what
    the room looks like. it’s a decent bed for one person. This is actually a really
    fun carpet and the great thing about the color is like you
    have no idea how dirty it might be A huge perk of living on a ship is that
    you do have a housekeeper assigned to you that comes every day and
    makes your bed and cleans so this is one of my favorite parts. Previous band
    leader leaves hand-over notes. He just went over the basics. Gave me like the
    phone numbers I need to know. Just kept it pretty simple which I appreciate. So
    then my other favorite part (slash not-favorite part) is like seeing what stuff has been left behind
    because I am a little bit of a neat freak and I will throw everything away I
    will throw everything away. I’ve tended to see that people like to save things I
    don’t know why they think it’s gonna come in handy for someone or they may
    be just a little bit too lazy to like deal with it
    so sometimes you get sort of a little bit of hoarding going on okay
    check out this phone this looks like it’s from like 1985
    so in here we have a bunch of tea bags this is very typical this is like 20 tea
    bags that are probably also very old Does tea expire I don’t know I have no
    intention on keeping that that will get thrown away this is another thing I see
    there’s a bunch of honey packets just tons of honey. There’s more. This is all the honey that
    was left. Oooh honey and tea. There’s a little hairpin there’s a lemon. I get the sense that this
    was like an avid tea drinker that kept a well-stocked tea set up this isn’t an
    unidentified what-the-fuck like oh it’s an air freshener I don’t want that this is a
    scented candle it does smell really good kind of vanilla okay so this is
    something that I do sometimes leave cup full of change okay let’s explore
    a little bit so up here we have a bunch of condoms condoms should be available
    for those who have sex responsibly I don’t know some playing cards I’m not
    even seeing a TV what is there no TV What the Hell? that’s unusual there’s always a
    TV so that’s very interesting here we have the fun little attic of like random
    stuff a Roman Catholic Mass songbook and celebrating the Eucharist there is a
    hairdryer which is like a fun discovery someone’s phone number named Kavita
    extra toilet paper no TV I’m still getting over that this is the toiletry
    section Oh something smells kind of weird
    oh there’s sage like who actually thought that they could burn sage in
    here you can’t burn sage without setting off fire alarms there’s a big old
    umbrella here which is kind of fun this is like a big old like Mary Poppins
    style umbrella what the hell? I don’t know want that. Here is a freaking junk drawer like what even what the hell is this this is like a gourd from Cuba
    bunch of plastic bags that’s that’s fine just like a bunch of fucking brochures
    anyone could pick these up and like this is not useful to anybody no one’s gonna
    go through this and like read these old frickin brochures there is some laundry
    detergent which actually is great this is a good find this bathroom actually
    is quite spa-like as you can see I actually do like this tile and yeah this
    is a typical kind of like corner shower situation right by the toilet I will say
    you always have plenty of storage space for whatever you brought two full like
    you know wardrobe with drawers here I have drawers under the bed and there’s
    there’s like more space there’s like oh the TV. I found it everybody I
    found the TV okay I’m super tired I actually didn’t
    sleep last night I was just like wired using the Wi-Fi as much as I could my
    review is this is a pretty typical situation. I
    think I’m gonna get some lunch very exciting update I got back from
    lunch and the room steward had come in and changed the sheets so I have fresh
    sheets and I’m gonna take a nap yeah hi it’s dark and I’m taking a nap hey
    it’s two days later but I finally unpacked I ended up crashing the first
    night and then yesterday I unpacked some and then today I finally finished put up
    a couple things on the doors on other ships I’ve been on all of the walls are
    magnetic so usually I’ll just put a bunch of magnets and hang stuff here
    it’s just the doors are magnetic so I put stuff there but yeah everything’s in
    its place and it’s all good My name’s Adam and I work on a ship, and this is cruise ship living

    LASER SHIP Adventure| Talking Tom Hero Dash in Real Life
    Articles, Blog

    LASER SHIP Adventure| Talking Tom Hero Dash in Real Life

    January 11, 2020


    Breaking news. Raccoons invaded Game City. They made such mess on the streets now. The police are not able to resist them. We urgently need help to resolve the situation. Who will challenge the racoon boss and save the city? Hello agent Ulya! I have a new mission for you. Ok! What happened? Raccoons invaded the city. They are everywhere. They are led by a raccoon boss. You need to fight him! I’ll be right back. I will give you my new gadget to defeat the raccoon boss. That’s awesome! I am coming for you raccoon boss. I’ll get you! I am close! Ha ha ha! Thank you Ulya! You saved us! You are welcome!

    Larry David and Seth Discuss Their Mutual Distaste for the Beach
    Articles, Blog

    Larry David and Seth Discuss Their Mutual Distaste for the Beach

    January 11, 2020


    -I don’t want to give anything
    away about the season. I’m so happy
    there’s a 10th season. I want to be surprised
    every week. -Well, what could you give away?
    You don’t know anything. -That’s true.
    I don’t know anything. I guess I’m not — what I’m
    saying is I’m not gonna press you for spoilers
    or anything. -No, you can press away. [ Laughter ] It will amount to nothing
    in the end. -Is that how you’ve always felt
    about bathroom attendants? Will you admit that much? -You know, your heart sinks
    when you see them. -Yeah. Yeah.
    [ Laughter ] -Oh, my God, ’cause then,
    you know, you’re going — I mean, you don’t want them
    there. -Yeah.
    [ Laughter ] -Why are they there?
    -Yeah. -It’s horrible. You know?
    -You’d be fine without them. -Oh, yes. Yes.
    -Yeah. -Wait outside. Then go in. -Right.
    -You know? And then there’s
    the whole tip issue. -Right?
    -Right? -Which is getting — genuinely
    getting harder because people — Nobody carries cash anymore. -Right.
    -Yeah. -There’s a tip basket,
    and as you pee, you’re going, “I got no money for this guy.”
    [ Laughter ] You got to say, “I’ll come back.
    I’ll come back.” [ Laughter ] “I’m so sorry.” Yeah. -Be honest.
    Have you ever come back? -No.
    [ Laughter ] -Thank you for your honesty. You were here a couple years
    ago, but I’m very lucky. I run into you every now
    and then in the summer. -Yes. -I feel like we both feel
    the same about the summer and we feel the same
    about the beach. Do you — Are you a fan? -Could not loathe it more. -Yeah.
    [ Laughter ] -I just don’t see — I don’t see why anybody
    would be on that surface. -Yeah.
    [ Laughter ] -You know, it’s just —
    it’s in your toes. And then there’s the water. What is — What is up with that? It’s cold.
    -Yeah. -Who goes in cold water? Why?
    Why are you going in cold water? -Some would argue —
    -How does that feel good? -Some would argue
    it’s a bracing experience. You’re refreshed
    when you go in cold water. Do you feel that way ever? -I could do without the brace. [ Laughter ] -You don’t need the brace? -I don’t need the brace, no.
    I don’t need it at all. But, you know,
    if there was grass, okay? -Yeah. -And the ocean,
    maybe once in a blue moon. -Right. There you got a lake.
    You’ve just described a lake. [ Laughter ] -Oh, did I? -I’m a far bigger fan of
    the lakes than the ocean. -Oh, the lake is
    a beautiful thing. -Oh, there’s no downside
    to the lake. Yeah. -Oh, I love the —
    I love the mountain thing. -Yeah.
    -The mountain, the cabin. Eh, not so much the cabin.
    [ Laughter ] The idea of the cabin.
    -The idea. And the lake I find a lot better
    than the ocean and that sand. [ Laughter ] -Well, the sand, you walk in — The other thing I hate about the
    sand and the ocean, sand, sand, ocean, now you’re wet, now you
    come out covered in sand. The sand sticks to you.
    -Yes. -Only way to get it off —
    back in the ocean. It’s just vicious —
    [ Laughter ] -It’s a terrible cycle.
    -A vicious cycle. -What you love — I don’t know
    where they have this, but I think I’ve seen it
    somewhere, you know, the faucet. -Yeah.
    -You know, for the feet. -Yeah.
    [ Laughter ] -That’s good.
    -Yeah. It’s just they don’t have it
    next to a lot of oceans. That’s the problem.
    -That’s a problem. -Yeah.
    -That’s a problem. -I’ve seen it at, like,
    a pool house or something. Yeah. But, you know, this is
    what we’re talking about. And a lot of people we know,
    friends we have in common, they love the beach. They would like nothing more. -They love the beach
    and they love their boats. -Yeah.
    -The boats. -Yep.
    -Now, that’s crazy. -Yep.
    -Okay? -I don’t want — Yeah.
    -To be on a boat? Why? Why are you on a boat?
    -Right. -Everything in the world is off
    the boat on the land. [ Laughter ]
    -Yeah. -There’s nothing on the boat. -I can appreciate people
    who get on a boat — Years ago, I want to say I’m not
    disparaging people who years ago went from one country to another
    on a boat. -On the boat. Of course.
    -That’s fine. -A mode of transportation.
    -Yes, of course. -I understand that.
    -Yes. -Yes.
    -I tip my cap to them. -Me, too.
    -But people who say — [ Laughter ] -I’ll reveal my bald head
    to them, yes. Yeah. -And then the other thing is,
    most boats you got to get on the little boat to go
    out to the boat. -The dinghy.
    -Yeah. -Yeah.
    -You got to get in the dinghy. A precarious —
    -By the way, what a name. -Yeah, exactly. They were trying to tell you
    with the name, this is what idiots do.
    [ Laughter ] Why is it called the dinghy?
    It’s for idiots. -It’s for idiots.
    [ Laughter ] No, you take the dinghy
    to the other boat. -Yeah. -Now you take
    the other boat out. -Yeah.
    -To do what? -Right.
    [ Laughter ] -To look? Look around?
    -Yeah. -What, think? About what?
    [ Laughter ] -You can’t think
    over the motorboat. Try to think over that. -And by the way, it’s dangerous.
    -Yeah. -There’s water.
    You can drown in that. -Yeah.
    [ Laughter ] And you’re going to — The edge of the water is
    the least dangerous part. Boat people are like,
    “Let’s go to the middle.” -The middle. Yeah.
    -Yeah. The most dangerous. -No, it’s insane.
    You’re out there. You’re left alone
    with your own thoughts. -Yeah.
    -And what are those thoughts? -Yeah, I don’t — I want to go back to land
    and distract myself. -I’m gonna have a heart attack.
    I don’t like my socks. What are these thoughts?

    The Pink Panther in “Pinknic”
    Articles, Blog

    The Pink Panther in “Pinknic”

    January 9, 2020


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