Browsing Tag: funny

    Jellyfish Sting Pee Paramedic (ft. @Gus Johnson) – Mini-Mocks
    Articles, Blog

    Jellyfish Sting Pee Paramedic (ft. @Gus Johnson) – Mini-Mocks

    January 18, 2020

    The only thing scarier than
    getting stung by a jellyfish is having nobody to pee on you.
    Well, that’s where I come in. My name is Vince
    Amico and I’m a jellyfish sting,
    piss paramedic. Most people just call me Piss
    Boy, though. At first, some beach goers were
    a little uncomfortable with my method of treatment,
    but as soon as they get stung they quickly warm up,
    partially because of the pee. I might not be a trained
    professional per se, but I would say that my passion
    for pee easily rivals that of any trained lifeguard. Stay in your lane, Kyle.
    Stay in your lane! During the busy season, I usually treat about
    four cases an hour, so it’s very important
    that I stay hydrated. I’m drinking water
    every hour on the hour. I also set up a little reservoir
    so none of my pee goes to waste. Piss Boys require
    sniper like precision. The conditions … Oh my God!
    please piss on my right now! Oh my God! They’re just so variable,
    they’re not always perfect. Lean in. yep, lean in.
    okay, there you go. Needing to pee has never been
    a problem for me. I have had problems with other
    people not needing me to pee, which is tough.
    There is usually one guy who is always requesting
    my service, Tony. There was another one,
    he got me right in the mouth! Piss boys get
    such little respect. You guys need any pee, whiz,
    stuff like that, here’s my card, here. Just go away. Got It. We are like
    volunteer firefighters, except we are fighting
    the burning sensation. Plus my hose is way bigger. Of course, when I’m not
    peeing on someone, I’m training and geez, I’m not
    even peeing for fun anymore. Plus, I constantly
    have to watch what I eat. If a patient is
    particularly shy, for example, we do offer a more privacy
    based option. Of course, they will
    have to endure a few extra seconds of pain,
    but it’s worth it in the end. I am more of a precision
    based shooter myself, so for some of
    our more serious cases, we’re calling in
    the heavy artillery, Piss Girl. Her full body spray technique ensures that no sting
    is left behind. We’re just trying
    to save lives here. Or at the very least,
    save your day at the beach. And like every job, you know,
    Piss Boys aren’t perfect. Sometimes I get caught
    in the line of fire. You do not want to see me
    get pissed, well, piss on myself,
    you don’t want to see that. If I were God or Christ himself, I would just eviscerate
    all the jellyfish. I hate them. Hey, I’m Gus Johnson. I took over Comedy Central
    this week and I made a lot of stuff
    with them. So click on the bubble
    or the boxes, wherever they are, please.
    This is a call to action. That’s what influencers say.

    Man Peeing Outside On The Beach!!!
    Articles, Blog

    Man Peeing Outside On The Beach!!!

    January 15, 2020

    Beautiful Sunset out here at Hug Point! Way up high, looking down over the rocks. Cute little couple down there… Awe, look at them. Just enjoying all of Nature, and everything
    it has to offer. (MAN GOING PEE OUTSIDE) Sure is beautiful. Ahhhhhhh!!! Peaceful. (URINE SPLASHES BUSHES)

    Types of Viking Ships
    Articles, Blog

    Types of Viking Ships

    January 15, 2020

    HEY! I have returned! Oh! Look who’s back! Welcome! Uarrr uahah… Thank you lad! Hey Mr. Thorstein! *bleating in excitement* Hello little ones! So what news? Well.. I’ve been at the winter-camps, near the French coast pillaging villages here and there huah ah Sounds good so far Now that summer is at hand, I came back to the real raiding! Hey! You know what?! What? I was the captain of my own ship! I’m surprised you and your crew aren’t at the bottom of the sea hrrmm… hey! I’m an excellent captain! Which type of viking ship did you commandeer? huh… wooden type… yes… uh.. long… large… floating on water! I mean, there were… different types of viking ships like Drakkars, Snekkes and so on… Riiiight… I called mine Bessie! Huaah… Thank the gods for Bessie… Right… so let’s talk about a few types of Viking ships but first I’ll make a little historical introduction to the importance of boats in old Scandinavian societies and I promise to be brief, because whenever Mr. Thorstein is around, it’s difficult to focus on what I’m saying You don’t know, but he’s always behind the camera making faces Oahh! You bloody bastard! Yeah, well… let’s get started By the end of the 8th century a new power awoke in Scandinavia – Vikings As I’ve told you before, Vikings were not a people Being a Viking was someone dedicated to maritime activities, mainly piracy Not every Nordic was a Viking but every Viking was a Nordic Now, why exactly some Nordics became Vikings? If we take a look at Scandinavia as a whole, geographically it’s quite diverse Denmark essentially is a flat territory while in the North, in Norway, predominates the rugged mountainous relief except for the south and the fjord of Trondheim In Sweden it’s a great mixture, mountains to the north and west, deep forests, huge lakes, hills, plains, and the majority of the southern region is flat These natural landscapes and also the very cold climate most of the year, obviously influenced the Nordic communities In general the soils of Denmark and southern Sweden were very good for agriculture and not surprisingly in southern Sweden people highly worshipped Freyr the god of Fertility, agriculture, peace and plenty It was their god, because the great majority of southern Swedes were farmers But in Norway things were quite different Agriculture was very hard and it was mainly along the coast and at the Fjord of Trondheim one of the regions where most battles took place because it was one of the very few places for agriculture and everyone was fighting for it Agriculture was extremely hard in Norway, and some parts of Sweden and as such, pastoralism, hunting and fishing, gave the Norwegians more means of sustenance The importance of the fishing activity in Scandinavia is a reflection of its geography Back then and even nowadays, the majority of the Norwegian population lives near the sea, and their fishing economy is outstanding but as you might have noticed, in the case of the Old Norse peoples of Norway, living near the sea was a survival matter to get food, because it was close to impossible getting food from farming activities The sea gave constant sustenance throughout the year especially during winter, which is the season you can’t farm even if you had the soil for it But because the terrain was so uneven, filled with natural barriers such as mountains, rivers, dense forests, the sea became the main route of communication Just so you have a better notion, there are 11th century accounts which tell us that a journey by land from Stockholm to a region called Sigtuna, which is more or less only 40 kilometres, about 24 miles, took a month to get there, while by sea it took only 5 days Boats became essential for survival, communication and for the successes of Nordic chieftains, and also a symbol of high social statues and wealth, because trading also became an essential activity in Old Scandinavian economy Boats became so important in Old Scandinavian societies that – they were used as tombs in burials and in cremation, as vessels to take the deceased into the other side And those who could not afford to have a boat, or maybe not willing to use the actual vessel for the dead because it was important in economic activities and they did not want to throw it all away, people made burials with stones, arranging them in the form of boats And in the religious context, gods became associated with boats as well Freyr had a great boat called Skíðblaðnir Njorð is associated with fishermen, boats, seafaring, and wealth and prosperity as well The god Baldr upon death is burnt in a boat, and so on Both merchants and military or political leaders had the key to success by owning boats In war the boats allowed rapid deployment of troops and in trading they could efficiently and quickly transport goods, precisely two areas of activity that were essential during the Viking Age Viking raids became a very productive activity for Scandinavians Acquiring wealth, obviously, but also being in contact with other cultures, developing new trading networks, and of course, for survival and political reasons, finding new places to settle, new lands to farm Viking raids opened new possibilities and progressively Scandinavians stopped being Vikings and became professional sailors ever interested in extending their political and economic horizons But speaking of the Viking Age, ships were not only a means of transport They were precisely what gave Vikings advantage in any conflict with their enemies Ships allowed raiding parties to descend almost anywhere on hostile coasts, with little warning and quickly penetrate far inland by navigating on rivers Just picture this: in one single day Vikings could sail an average of one hundred and seventy miles, almost three hundred kilometres How much would it take to cover that distance by land? Months! If Viking met resistance in a certain spot, they could just sail away into another spot long before land troops reach them Viking boats were a success Now, when speaking of Viking ships most of the time we have the same image in our head The langskip, long boats But do you think the masters of boat-building would only make one single type of boat? There was a wondrous variety of Viking ships for different purposes, different activities and different approaches The most used ships for war, were of course the longships In terms of warships there were two main types, the snekkes and the drakkars Snekkes are the type of warships used in coastal districts, back home owned by local chieftains for their private raids and local defence They were long and narrow and had a crew between 24 to 36 bloodthirsty vikings, rowing for glory These ships were perfect for Strandhögg which consisted of coastal raids with the intention of capturing livestock and indigenous peoples for the slave trade Perfect ships for small-scale and hit-and-run expeditions These are the ships Vikings used to sail near the coats and to navigate through minor rivers Then we have the famous Drakkar huge in size, almost twice the size of a snekke They were more symbols of authority and wealth rather than actual war and transport ships They were so costly that only Jarls and Kings could afford them These are often the vessels you see with great rich carvings, multi coloured sails, well, magnificent and costly as I’ve said Rarely used It could have a crew between 60 to 80 people not counting with the warriors it can carry, close to five hundred if not more Due to their size they had a very stable platform which was very good in fighting situations and in stormy seas These were ships not meant for local raids and certainly not to sail in rivers These were ships meant to sail in search for bigger prizes than the average wealth acquired in hit-and-run raids Another type of ship that could be used for raiding, as well as to travel and trade was the karve Not very big, with a crew of 30 to 36 people, somewhat with the same proportions of a snekke but quite broad which was great for trading and could also take more men than the snekke did The karve was better to sail into open waters, but it was slower You can also find the name for this ship, korabis, which was the name the Rus called such ships because these were the trading vessels commonly used in trading with Eastern Europe There were other longships of course, such as the Busse which was a class of longship with large cargo capacity and a large crew They were designed for battle and to give advantage in war against other ships The Skeide, which was also a great longship With lower cargo capacity than the Busse, but also slimmer and faster In terms of trading ships. We have the Knarr Heavy Merchant Ships Slow, broader in proportion than the warships They had a wider and deeper hull for cargo, and they were clearly much more dependent on the sail than the oars They were absolutely great to cross vast stretches of ocean without wreck They were likely used along the coast of Scandinavia and to do trading with Western Europe We have the Byrding, Light Merchant Ships A smaller vessel primarily used as a domestic vessel along the coast to carry supplies for troops, but also trading ships for Eastern Europe Norse traders needed lighter and more manoeuvrable ships, which could navigate through the Russian rivers These were vessels meant to travel deep inland Russia was wilder back then, not like Western Europe with ports, docks, where you could easily go ashore to trade In Russia there was the necessity to leave the ship to trade, there were no ports, so Norse merchants needed lighter vessels, light enough to be pulled out of the water or over rocky areas, shallow areas and other obstacles There were other types of ships often called- often called Skute small and light vessels which could sail fast It isn’t clear whether a “skute” was a class of ships, or if it was a common term for a wide range of smaller ships, including the karve and byrding They were clearly fast, with the advantage of being ready to put on the water and set-sail, because only a small crew with little equipment was necessary, making it a type of vessel which could sail without attracting attention from the surroundings but also easy to hide I would say this was a kind of vessel suited to carry people around, unnoticed or to deliver messages in times of war and great need And there was the ferje, a ferry boat small vessels for crossing short distances, like across fjords Only one man or two would be necessary to sail these Alright my dear friends, thank you so much for watching and I hope you have enjoyed this short video about viking ships This is a sort of introduction for the next video I will make about- Ships in Burial Context So, once again, thank you so much for watching See you on the next video, and of course, as always- Tack för idag!
    (Thank you for today!)

    Elafonisos paradise island, Greece 4K | Best beaches and places – Travel Guide
    Articles, Blog

    Elafonisos paradise island, Greece 4K | Best beaches and places – Travel Guide

    January 14, 2020

    Peloponnese – Greece The place to be There are some places
    Algunos lugares Elafonisos island
    Southern Peloponnese That you will remember forever
    para siempre A strip that resembles a path to heaven… Beauty
    belleza blue experiences
    experiencias This summer a paradise waits for you sweet melodies
    deep feelings sentimientos 323 kilometers south of Athens Elafonisos village making you wanna return
    volver again and again Tasty Greek cuisine Freedom
    Libertad – Freiheit Elafonisos
    your secret blue paradise paraiso azul I love to travel Love is waiting for you this summer
    este verano Simos Camping Beach
    Sarakiniko in Greece
    en Grecia – στην Ελλάδα Natura 2000. Elafonisos has a wealth of flora and fauna which is confirmed by its inclusion to the European network of protectes areas. Let the picture reveal all those things the words cannot describe… There are some places you will never forget! Have you ever dreamt of the amazing colors of nature, coral and emerald shades with gold and white grains of sand? sand dunes Relaxation Elafonisos is your hidden Paradise Adventure Panagia beach Are you ready to experience this? Authentic Lefki beach crystal blue water Let’s go on an adventure! The only trip you will regret is the one you don’t take “To travel is to take a journey into yourself”
    – Danny Kaye Erotic Small simos beach Ten minutes transit time by ferry from Punta Tiny island
    immense beauty mythical greek blue exotic best choice This summer will be the best of your life! all in your hands passionate alternative Elafonisos waits for you
    this summer! romantic Elafonisos,
    your new favorite destination Like this video, tell us your opinion, write a comment. Share! Runnismos Travel Guru
    Contact us: [email protected] Thanks for watching this and subscribe for more adventure, impressive pictures and breathtaking travelling videos!

    GAME MASTER CHALLENGE! Box Fort Prison Underground Maze Escape Room (Hacked By Project Zorgo)
    Articles, Blog

    GAME MASTER CHALLENGE! Box Fort Prison Underground Maze Escape Room (Hacked By Project Zorgo)

    January 13, 2020

    Oh looks like I made it out of that
    prison but where are we now guys I don’t know if we’re in another prison or
    something else hello can you hear me what is this what do you mean see if I
    can escape this look I’m not some puppet you’re gonna send through all of your
    games how do I get out of here what do you want with me look I know you’re
    sending this footage to Logan I I know you’re uploading it to my channel
    without my permission I don’t know what you’re doing but my
    viewers are smarter than this so tell me what you want us to be friends and tell me who you are tell me who you
    are right now are you another youtuber are you Chad well clearance even share I
    want to know the close to the answers you’re seeking will be given to you soon
    complete this game and I’ll give you one hey you know fine fine if I beat this
    game if I beat this maze then you need to give me a clue as to who you really
    are good my boys know yeah yeah I know I know the rules all right guys look it
    looks like we’re in some sort of box Ford maze the game masters put together
    I don’t know about you guys but this is really creeping me out
    I don’t like the fact he’s just staring at me I don’t know if he can see me or
    not I don’t see any cameras in here the best thing we can do right now is have
    you guys helping us call me to me down below helping us solve this mystery and
    most importantly guys if something does happen if the game master cuts off our
    subscriptions or something be sure that you have that Bell button hit it’s the
    only way I might be able to communicate with you guys let me know if you think
    any other youtuber could be game master I mean a lot of you guys
    before we’re commenting that it could be Logan but Logan pinky-swore me that is
    not the game master you’re not the game master right no
    Logan do you pinkie swear you’re not the game master yes so it definitely can’t
    be Logan but there are a lot of other youtubers that it could be we got to
    figure out a way to get out of here and solve this maze so we can get closer to
    the answer and more importantly break out of here because I’m tired of playing
    the game masters games all right let’s see if we can find anything in this room
    here there’s the creepy picture of the game master I think there’s one of these
    in the box for prison he puts one of these in like every single game II plays
    okay other than that we have a fan or something here and a rope you found the
    crystal key there’s a crystal ball on here to escape so wait if i find the
    crystal ball and places on here i can escape if i just press it doors opening
    doors opening can’t get a big boy all right well looks like the only way
    we’re getting out of here is with some sort of crystal ball unless I jump for
    it no I thought it was a little bit close to that time okay fine you know
    what I breaking out of prison I can play a
    box where maze and find this crystal ball it’s gonna get out of this room
    wait guys look at the door yes yes on the door out of here there’s like some
    writing maybe maybe this is cool to get out of here guys I have no idea what
    that could mean or what it is it might be some sort of clue or like a riddle or
    something guys if you have any idea what this could be let me know in the
    comments I might be able to get Logan to relay me the information he has been
    able to talk to me but I haven’t heard anything from Logan in a while we got to
    get out of this place and find this crystal ball actually I saw this great
    here looks like I might be able to get through here but the game master won’t
    let me do anything against the rules which means I’ve got to find a way to
    get through this legitimately without breaking it there’s got to be something
    in here I can use well I could throw a TV monitor through it but I don’t think
    that’s gonna solve anything he may have watched one of my prison
    escapes where I use a vent to pull the bars off in this case he might want me
    to do the same thing no no no no okay what about this
    well it’s working the rooms fully way to sup sup sup okay okay just like to get
    to the bars yeah I do alright perfect okay that must have been
    it if I can put this rope through the bars here I can use the fan as torque to
    pull them off of here and get down into whatever is down there I’m not sure
    what’s down there guys but I’m looking for a crystal ball I have no idea what
    the game master has in store for me but I really have no other options alright
    there you go guys I’ve got the knot tied on here now when I activate this it
    should pull the bars off and I’ll be able to get down into there alright here
    goes nothing activate perfect alright well listen you go down here
    into a little bit of an underground tunnel okay
    alright it’s a little freaky to go down there but su you guys aren’t going first
    no okay I got to go first okay here we go
    here goes nothing looks like there’s another door down there and as far as I
    can tell there’s no trap so we should be good to go all right let’s go feet first
    I’m making my way down into the creepy tunnel to find a crystal what just happened the lights just
    turned off okay I don’t know if we’re making progress or what but all I know
    is that screen is want to get out of here let’s go into the tunnel well looks
    like there’s a door over there and button system great some more buttons
    guys I don’t know what will happen if I press the wrong button here but I don’t
    think we have another choice I’ve gotta choose one and press it comment down
    below which one you would be pressing but I think I’m gonna go with number 2
    and see what happens with that to 100 all right that’s not creepy that’s a
    creepy at all it’s just it’s just the gamemaster laughing okay all right you
    know that’s let’s not press number two but number two is not to be pressed ah
    alright let’s try number three here goes nothing guys in three two one uh okay I think that might be the light
    switch uh all right let’s turn that back on
    totally leaves us one last number and if that doesn’t open the door I don’t know
    what will all right here goes nothing in three two
    one what do you mean look closely what’s
    going on what’s happening smoke wait look closely
    hold on the light the light whoa no guys I think I know what he means well look
    closely there are literally lasers all throughout this hallway the doors now
    open make it to the other side without
    setting off the laser oh okay that’s easier said than done I don’t know what will happen if we set
    one off guys but I don’t want to stick around to find out you can step over
    this one Oh easy does it thanks mr. lazy oh oh there’s one right
    here oh there’s one right here by my face all right let’s just dodge and ER
    this and this what I don’t want to hit you there
    good thing I’m slightly trained in acrobatics Oh Blue’s Clues we made it to the other
    side without setting off any other lasers all right let’s get moving
    this should just open got it all right looks like we made it to the next room
    oh it’s a lot brighter in here a lot less smoky okay what is this guys well this was a maze I’m sure a carnival
    or something with why are they balloons let’s try the door why what why can’t I
    go through the door hey it’s gotta be something we do to open it
    everything in here’s a game everything in here is a riddle the game master
    wants us to play his game and to solve his game as we go along which means just
    like the lasers this is another game that has to do with these let’s look
    around guys see we can find something there’s some markings on the ground here
    looks like there’s an arrow pointing towards the balloons this could signify
    that it has something to do with the balloons and it wants me to stand by
    this arrow wait here guys look there’s some darts oh I know what this is I need
    to pop the balloons okay all right that’s not too bad that’s that’s all you
    got some balloon popping games that’s nothing
    Paul for Jake has Papa Jake happens to be one of the best balloon poppers and
    the balloon popper leak it’s I think he gets the point all right well if I’m not
    mistaken this means we need to stand behind this blue arrow and pop those
    bullets shouldn’t be too hard all right here we go
    first dark and see if we can get it awesome got the first balloon how do you
    where to go start here we go let’s try get this big
    blue one up here three two one oh oh oh nice
    hi just go get this pink one and the door should open I think I got this here
    goes nothing awesome got it okay let’s try the door why does it work you pop the balloons guys I just throw how possibly I could
    do anything differently wait guys the balloons just refilled themselves okay
    that’s that’s not creepy at all uh do I have to do it again do I have to do a
    second time what I must have done them wrong I must have done the the puzzle
    wrong that I played the game wrong there’s gotta be something something I’m
    missing here we grab the darts guys look here there’s colored stripes of tape
    blue blue I think the game isn’t popping the balloons it’s popping the balloons
    in the correct order I’ve to welcome the order blue pink blue
    okay all right I can do this I’ve got the darts and behind the line let’s just
    pop it again in that order three two one perfect got the first one
    all right that’s done now to do the pink in three two one oh nice two for two
    the final ones the blue if this doesn’t work guys I have no idea what he wants
    but I’m thinking this is it this must be how we solve the puzzle
    three two one nice last one done hey now let’s try the
    door oh that’s different sound sounds like
    success alright we made it to the next room let’s see what’s in here
    well okay it’s a bit of a smaller room oh but ah looks like another puzzle or
    piece of the maze alright let’s scan the room see if we
    can find anything it looks like this is in the last room though I’m not seeing a
    crystal ball anywhere which means this maze keeps going on you

    Basketball with Jack Black & Chris Paul | Kevin Hart: What The Fit Ep 12 | Laugh Out Loud Network
    Articles, Blog

    Basketball with Jack Black & Chris Paul | Kevin Hart: What The Fit Ep 12 | Laugh Out Loud Network

    January 13, 2020

    ( music playing )both: Next game.( music playing)Here we go, here we go.
    He’s dunking. Who got next, fellas?
    Who got next? We got to get worked
    into the next game. – Who do I talk to to
    see who got next?
    – Hey! Is there a signup
    sheet for next? Jack Black over here
    from “Nacho Libre.” ( laughter ) It’s like they’re, like,
    on purpose ignoring us. Here’s what’s going on
    right now. We’re at Venice,
    the legendary Venice Beach. I got my guy, Jack Black,
    with me and I say you know what,
    today, we should actually
    play basketball and let’s get fit
    by coming out here to hoop with some people that hoop. Yeah. Hey, next game I’mma go ahead and run with y’all,
    so give me a count as to what y’all going to,
    what you go–hey, big fella. What you going to, baby? – What you going to, baby?
    – It seems like they’re going
    to infinity. – Yeah.
    – ( crowd cheering ) I tell you what,
    how about this? How about y’all just
    lost your shot. I’m gonna get
    my own goddamn team
    and come back to compete. Good luck getting a part in
    “Nacho 2” because… – Yeah, that’s right. Yeah.
    – …that door just closed. And dunking in pink shorts
    don’t make you tough, I tell you that, huh?
    Right? That’s right. – Let’s go get our own teams.
    – Oh, yeah. – ( crowd cheering )
    – Let’s go, Jack, we don’t need this shit.
    Let’s go.( music playing )Here’s what we’re gonna do.
    Let’s walk up and down here. – Yeah.
    – Right? You pick two people, – I’ll pick two people.
    – Okay. We’ll do our own
    three-on-threes. – All right, good.
    – Okay? This is like
    a scouting report. Yeah. And they can
    be anybody, okay? – I feel very confident…
    – All right. – …in my picking capabilities.
    – Okay. Holy cow. – Yo, I see…
    – You see somebody? Yo, you’re gonna think
    i’m bullshitting right now. Burg, Burg. – What’s up, Burg?
    – What up, what up? – Hey.
    – What up, K-fam? How are you?
    You remember burg, right? Of course. – What up, man?
    – First of all, what the hell – are you doing out here?
    – I’m from L.A., – I love the beaches.
    – All right, well, look, this is what we’re about to do. We’re about to play
    three-on-three, I’m picking two, he picking two.
    You wanna run with me? – Yeah.
    – All right, I got Burg. – Okay. All right.
    – He’s my first pick. You wanna just keep
    walking down then? I’m just–I’m just
    not seeing anyone… We got to–we just got to go. – …that’s like clearly
    got game.
    – Well, let’s just look, – just look.
    – Let me talk to this guy. Let me talk to this fella. Excuse me, what’s your name? Malik? I’m Jack,
    good to meet you, too. – Yeah.
    – Now, I approach you because you’re a good, like,
    one foot taller than me. Do you play basketball at all? Okay. – So you’re ready?
    – Yeah. Let’s keep walking, guys. We gonna find somebody here. Matter of fact,
    you play basketball? Are you good? Are you really good? Forget the picture, This is an opportunity. Forget the picture. Do you wanna play
    basketball with me? I want him. – ( laughter )
    – I want him. – Kev, we’re both little guys.
    – Can you play? I want him. What’s your name? – Terry?
    – Erik. Okay, Erik, stop confusing me, Okay?
    We’re about to go back, and we’re about to play
    three-on-threes, I got my team,
    this is who I want, this is who I’m playing with.
    Let’s head back to the courts and then you get
    your picture after. If we lose, no picture. Deal?
    High five. That’s what I’m talking about.
    Come on, guys. I’mma be honest
    with you, Malik, I’m not very good
    at basketball. – Yeah?
    – But what I lack in skill I make up for in passion. I’m one of those guys
    that just tries – a hundred and five percent.
    – Yeah. And just ( bleep ) sucks rocks. If it gets rough, just get me
    the damn basketball. – I’mma just give you the ball.
    – Hey, guys, how are you, sir? Erik, that’s right,
    you–Erik, stay focused. I can’t have you slapping
    people’s hands, okay? I need you focused. I picked you because
    you’re my weapon, all right? I’m gonna tell you a secret. I am cold-blooded. I had to make some decisions,
    I made some moves. I’m bringing in a ringer
    for the third player. Someone from the NBA that I think you may recognize when you see him. Where’s Jack at? ( crowd cheering ) Hey, Kevin. You got your team ready? – I found some teammates.
    – Kevin, he went and got some – ( bleep ) real players, dawg.
    – I found–I got Malik. – Oh, that’s dirty bitch.
    – I told you, I told you. – That’s Chris Paul.
    – They got a NBA professional. – What’s up, little man?
    – I think I got CP3. What the ( bleep )
    are you doing? – What the (bleep) is this?
    – Chris Paul Three. – What’s happening?
    – Hey, how’s it going? That’s not cool, dawg,
    that’s not cool, dawg. – Hey, man.
    – That’s not cool, dawg. I know you, brother.
    Wait a minute, brother. – Brother, I know you, man.
    – Good to meet you. – Jack said he needed one.
    – But why is you the one? – Jack, what is…
    – Yeah. – Why wouldn’t he be the one?
    – Yeah, but I said a pickup
    game. My scouting instincts
    get the best I can find – from what I can see.
    – Oh, yeah. Well, I ain’t
    never been a bitch. What we playing for,
    a hundred thousand? – What we playing for?
    – Huh? – What we playing for?
    – We playing for sneakers. Loser got to walk out
    of here with no sneaks. – Bet. Bet. Bet.
    – Bet. Bet. Bet. – Bet it.
    – Bet it. Okay. Let’s get it
    in the middle here. – Yeah. Wolf pack?
    – Yeah, wolf pack. – ( howling )
    – One, two, three, all: Wolf pack. On three, mighty men, come on. – One, two, three…
    – all: Mighty men. Okay, all right.
    Okay, let’s go, Erik. – ( crowd cheering )
    – All right, listen. Before we go and have an intense
    three-on-three basketball game, I figure it’s right
    to have a challenge. But not just any challenge, we got to have
    our Bengay challenge.Three people are gonna come up,they’re gonna shoot foul shots.Whoever makes
    the most foul shots will win.
    So let’s go all in and win. All right, John,
    you got 30 seconds to make as many you possibly can. – Time.
    – ( music playing ) Got to go,
    got to go, got to go. John got on three knee braces for no reason at all. All right. And we are out of time. – Too late.
    – John didn’t make one free throw. Okay. – Doesn’t count, sir.
    – See, those should count. Doesn’t count.
    All right, on three. Ready, set, go.
    Come on, Erik. – Come on, erik, you got it.
    – There you go. Take off. – Take off.
    – Come on, Erik. Hurry up. – Come on, Erik.
    – ( crowd cheering ) That’s one. Last shot, Erik, hurry up. You got one, that’s it,
    Erik, don’t run, don’t tire yourself out,
    I need you for the game. Good job, you got one. – Good job.
    – All right, Malik. Hey, Malik. Easy money, go get it. You got 30 seconds, Malik.
    Go. – Feel it.
    – Take off, Malik, take off. – There it is.
    – ( crowd cheering ) Don’t focus on the result, – focus on the journey.
    – There you go. – Two seconds, Malik.
    – I’m taking partial credit for these hoops.
    I’m saying the right shit. – Pull up.
    – Time. – He shot it.
    – ( crowd cheering ) Malik killed y’all. All right, Malik,
    you are the winner of our Bengay challenge. You may be sore
    after that challenge, but hopefully
    this win from Bengay will help you relieve the pain. – It’s a hell of a trophy.
    – Hey, man, amazing job. – Yeah.
    – Amazing shooting, I hope you feel good
    about beating a kid.( music playing )All right, Jack. I know we
    came out here as friends, but I think within a friendship
    comes great competition. So at this point,
    I’mma politely decline our friendship
    from you and from Chris, friendship over,
    three-on-three, game goes to 11. We both get two timeouts apiece. – You’re gonna lose.
    – Is it my turn? – Yeah, now it is.
    – First of all, I’d like to thank you
    for showing up. – Right, right.
    – I’m surprised you showed up. – Right.
    – Because you’re about to be – embarrassed on television.
    – Preach. Also, I’d also like to say you are short. ( laughter ) You’re shorter than average. ( laughter ) All right, it’s game time. – ( crowd cheering )
    – I yelled that so loud, I got lightheaded. – Yes.
    – You ready? Who you got, J, who you got? – I got the kid.
    – You got him? That kid will score nothing – while I’m on his watch.
    – Lock him up. – Y’all ready?
    – Oh, shit. Oh, where you going, Jack?
    Go, get a bucket, Jack. – Oh.
    – Ugh. Go ahead, Erik. Take it in there strong, Erik. – Give me that, Erik.
    – ( laughter ) Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, and the same thing
    can happen to you, too. Erik, that means nothing.
    Those things happen – to the best of us.
    – Let’s go. Come on, Burg.
    Oh, back cut. Oh, he can’t see that far.
    I’mma rebound. – Go ahead, shoot it.
    – That’s a bucket. ( crowd cheering ) Hey, that’s called
    busting Chris Paul’s ass. I’m about to put
    a highlight reel together. Switch, Jack, switch. – Switch!
    – Oh. Good knee, Jack. – Good knee, Jack.
    – Shot, John. – That’s a two. Yeah.
    – ( crowd cheering ) – Time out.
    – Where are you going, Coach? – Quick change of costume.
    – You’re playing great
    out there. Headbutt, headbutt,
    there you go. That’s what we do.
    We headbutt. It was the kicks, bro. It was the kicks, bro. Let’s not change
    anything, okay? He was playing bad
    because he didn’t have his terrible shoes on.
    You ready now? – Almost there, bro.
    – What is Jack doing?( music playing )– Jack, we’re losing right now.
    – I’m back. And why do you have wings on the
    back of your sneakers? I think you’re
    about to find out, Kev. All right, let’s go. Throw it up, throw it up.
    Just throw it up. – Dammit, he’s tall.
    – Up here. – Yeah!
    – Yeah, yeah. – We’re obviously a better team.
    – ( crowd cheering ) Put it right here.
    Go to work, Jack. – Why you dribbling so slow?
    – We’re like the Miami Heat, the villains of the league, – and we win.
    – Go! – ( grunts )
    – Keep it simple. – What’s happening?
    – It’s a sub. – They got a sub.
    – Jack, what? – He got a sub.
    – Jack got a sub. Wait, Jack,
    what just happened? You can’t get a sub
    to act like you – because he’s white.
    – “Game on” yell it. Yeah. Jack, that doesn’t
    make him you. – Wait, Jack, wait.
    – Game on, I’m Jack Black. – No, Jack…
    – Come on, pick it up. Get in there, Jack Black, show them who’s boss! –( music playing )
    – Boy. Yeah. That’s what — – ( crowd cheering )
    – Go, go, go, shoot it. – Three up.Three and three.
    – Yeah, Jack Black and CP3. Yup, yup. ( music playing ) – Yes!
    – ( crowd cheering ) Yeah. – ( howling )
    – Nothing. – Scout report says–
    – You wanna switch? – He can play.
    – You wanna switch? – You wanna switch?
    – No. Oh, Jesus.( music playing )Hey, Erik, you got to bear
    down! You gonna post the kid up? Help! Help! – Get it.
    – Shot, Kev. – Right, right, right.
    – Two. – ( crowd cheering )
    – About time you hit one in. – I’m busting your ass.
    – No, this is not how it was
    supposed to go down. – Oh, yeah.
    – Foul. Ow. – ( laughter )
    – Foul. – He hit me.
    – Time out. – I call a foul. Time out.
    – Look at my sneakers, – he untied them and everything.
    – Time out. You ready? – Thanks, man.
    – He’s trying to hurt me. All right,
    let’s shut them down. Jack,
    take this for a second. Hey, all right. – Lock him up.
    – I’ll lock him up. Take the three because
    you’re not getting past me. You’re not getting past me. – Smack the ground, Jack.
    – Take aim. – There you go.
    – Come on. There you go.
    Here you go, here you go, I’m with you.
    I’m with you. Jack, cut, Jack, cut. – Erik, hey.
    – Oh, God. ( laughter ) – Ten to five.
    – Jack, look, let me tell you
    how we’re gonna win it, let me tell you
    how we’re gonna win it. Tell me, tell me,
    tell me, tell me. This is game point but here’s the beauty of it. This is where I get serious. One, two, three,
    wolf pack, whoo. What the–what was that? – ( crowd cheering )
    – Game point, let’s go. Get in that corner
    right there. Get in that corner.
    Ready to shoot, Malik. You gotta fight through it,
    gotta fight through it. – Ready to shoot.
    – Yeah, yeah. Locked up, locked up. Oh, there it go, Jack, there it go. – Jack, Jack, again.
    – Hit me. – ( grunts )
    – ( crowd cheering ) Back to my sweet-spot, come on.
    I need redemption. ( crowd reacting ) Get it back to me, CP3, – I need this.
    – Hit the rebound. Yeah rebound. – Our ball. Our ball.
    – ( laughter ) Jack, do we need
    to make it bigger? – Oh, my God.
    – Jack, – you see the white square?
    – Yeah. If you hit it in it
    every time, it goes in. – That’s a great tip, thank you.
    – All right. – Hey, Jack.
    – I got this. Way to fail on 30 attempts. Yeah, but who’s better
    at picking teammates? – Get the kid, Jack. Get him.
    – Erik, right now, Get open, erik. No, no, no, no. Oh, oh. Come on, John. – Goddamn it, john.
    – Damn it, John. Damn it, John. I’m back in the sweet spot. Oh, God. Okay, Kevin. CP3.( music playing )Help. Oh, there it goes, Jack. ( screams ) ( crowd cheering ) – Wolf pack, wolf pack.
    – You did it. – Wolf pack, wolf pack.
    – You did it. Wolf pack, wolf pack,
    wolf pack, wolf pack. ( laughs )
    Game winning shot. Jack Black was the better man. This is “What the Fit.” And sometimes I guess
    I’m gonna have to lose. This is my trophy. I just wanna thank
    all the people that believed in me. ( crowd cheering ) Much love to all involved. – Thank you.
    – Are you done? – I’m done.
    – Can you come up out – them shoes though?
    – Okay. – Ooh, yeah.
    – You said the loser– – The shoes must come off.
    – Hey, does anybody out here wear size 12 in kids? ( laughs ) ( crowd cheering ) I’ll see you next time,
    next episode of “What the Fit.” Oh, God. Oh.Hi, I’m Kevin Hart.
    If you like what you saw,
    then why not watch more?
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