-I was running
a bit behind today, so I thought if you guys
wouldn’t mind, just want to write out my weekly
thank you notes right now. James, can I get some thank-you-
note-writing music, please? ♪♪ -Looks like he just texted
3-0-3-0. -Thank you Pete Buttigieg
and Bernie Sanders for looking like the real-life
version of “Back to the Future.” [ Laughter ]
[ Applause ] Thank you, Jed, for saying
you were on “The Bachelorette” just to help your music career. At least now you have plenty of
material for a break up album. [ Laughter ]
[ Applause ] -They’re always the best.
Always good. -Thank you, grill I rarely use. You give me a chance to play
a fun game of how much rust can I feed my
friends without them noticing. [ Laughter ]
[ Applause ] -Full of iron.
-Had this bad boy for ten years. Thank you, Hobbs and Shaw,
for sounding less like a “Fast & Furious” spin off
and more like two injury attorneys you see
on TV at 3:00 in the morning. [ Serious voice ] Have you been
hit by a skate boarder? [ Applause ] Thank you, home cooking, for
being 2% cooking, 2% eating, and 96% doing dishes.
[ Light laughter ] [ Applause ] Thank you, “The Lion King”
for teaching us that if you don’t want your kid
to grow up to be a huge jerk, maybe don’t name him “Scar”. [ Light laughter ]
[ Applause ] Come on, Scar.
-Yeah. [ Light laughter ] -Come on.
-Just give me a second. [ Laughter ]
-You think about other names kids can be named right?
-what’s that? -You think about other names
they should’ve not name their kids?
-No I’m thinking about this next thank you note,
I really like it. -It’s your favorite one?
-It is. But I have a feeling it is not
going to work. -Oh, really?
But it’s a good one anyway. -I think it’s good.
It’s more of thinker. -Does it come from the heart?
-I didn’t write it but yeah. It comes from —
[ Laughter ] Comes from someone’s heart.
-Someone’s heart. Well, then that’s all
that matters, man. [ Light laughter ] -Thank you, beach balls
for letting me throw my breath. [ Applause ]
[ Laughter ] -That was a good one. [ Cheers and applause ] People are still laughing about
that now. I love that. -I get it. Oh, yeah. -Thank you, ice cream sandwiches
for lasting three minutes before turning into just
regular cookies and milk. There you guys have it.
Those are my “Thank You Notes.”