What do you call a sleepy dinosaur? -Sleeposaurus rex A brontosnorous *Rose laughs* What do dinosaurs have, that no other animals have? A history of extinction! Dinosaur babies *Buzzer sound for fail* What is it that YouTubers have that other people don’t have? Fame Face ready for camera A well-worn sofa Loneliness Intro “group hug” Hi guys, and welcome to the internet This week, Rosie and I are drinking tea and Rosie’s drinking it through a dinosaur straw to preserve her lipstick What have you called your dinosaur straw? A dinostraw! That makes perfect sense Now, talk to me about what you were talking about a minute ago, with the numbers Ok right, I have a huge – like, I need to rearrange the numbers, like it’s getting to me So, I’ve realised why I get confused with numbers Cause the other night I was like “oh 100,000 isn’t 100,000” *sighs* It’s confusing But anyway, basically 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9… *Rose interjecting* TEN! *Rose sighs at Rosie’s terrible math skills* One-ty, two- One-ty, one-two One-three, one-four Right, let me just quickly explain Rosie doesn’t understand why the number 11 is called ‘eleven’ -But not ‘one-ty-one’ When it could be called ‘one-ty-one’ Right, and someone went “uh because 21 isn’t called two-ty-one” I said “yeah, but 41 is forty-one” and so is ‘sixty-one’ And ‘seventy-one’ ‘Seventy-one’ and ‘eighty-one’! and ‘eighty’ So why isn’t 11 called ‘one-ty’? No, 10 would be ‘one-ty’ Then it would be ‘one-ty-one’ ‘One-ty-two’ ‘Three-ty-one No, one-ty-three, one-ty-four, one-ty-five, one-ty-six, one-ty-seven, one-ty-eight, one-ty-nine Two-ty Two-ty-one Two-ty-two Two-ty-three, right *continues in this fashion* Threety, right *continues* Okay, you’re starting – Wait wait wait! *continues* FORTY! But then if it’s teen for ten, right Twenty should be two times teen It’s just so confusing So it should be one-ty, two-ty So, for example, on my next birthday, I’m going to be two-ty-seven You’re gonna be two-ty-nine, but we don’t speak about that So let’s just say that you’re also two-ty-seven and I’m two-ty-five So, 100 should be ten-ty and then it will be – no, it’ll be ten…ten-ty Yep *Rosie to herself* No, what’s 100, Rosie? Ten-hundred-ty No, what is it? Oh, yes, it will be ten-ty! What would 1 million be? I think 1 million’s just 1 million Just call it ‘rich’ Why is the equator called the equator when it equates to nothing? Surely it should be called the circumference Which makes absolute logical reasoning Yeah, what does it equate to? Nothing! It’s not like this x this=the equator Or call it hotty-line or the hotty-width You know? This is why I married you because I like the way your brain works It makes perfect logical sense Why would they be like, right, there’s this line that goes round the globe which, by the way I’m still not sure if that’s a physical line If I wear lipstick, does that make me a lipstick bisexual? The only category of bisexual is flighty Now, that’s not part of the number You’re thinking of one-ty It’s not flighty, it’s ninety! Let’s get into the real core of this video Okay, one-ty-one, one-ty-two, one-ty-three Oh my god, can you imagine if you’re playing hide-and-seek You’re like 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 TEN-TY! No, it’s one-ty, I’m so confused! And it should be a two-ty pence How much cuter is that? Can you lend me two-ty pence? Rosie and I have been thinking about how characters are always killed off if they are gay Yeah, that’s actually a theory we learned about in University, did you know? It’s actually a theory It’s no theory, it’s reality Yeah, well some guy, can’t think what he was called Might not be a guy, might be a woman, let’s not be sexist, it probably was a woman someone said the only way the mainstream media can have gay characters especially central characters is if one of them dies AKA Brokeback Mountain What happens? He dies Also, they’re never really the central characters, they’re always the side character or the friend Well, that’s the only way they can survive, if they’re just someone who it’s not about but if it’s the main character, they have to die, right? But do you know what I was thinking about? What? I thought of a main character who doesn’t die who’s gay WHO? And then I had this thing Right, do you remember when we went to a party and there was someone so young there that they didn’t know who the Spice Girls were? I know, horrifying Well, I remember this great lesbian thing, I had an epiphany while I was brushing my teeth today I was like fuck, young lesbians aren’t gonna know about this and everyone’s like “watch Supergirl, watch The 100” And I’m like “bitches, do you even remember Tipping the Velvet?” Because that is incredible! Okay yeah, the L Word’s old but people go back and watch it because it was the only thing we had apart from Lip Service, which I would rather call Shit Service So, Tipping the Velvet, am I right? Also, Fingersmith, am I right? What’s better than a period drama? A lesbian period drama which is literally called Fingersmith AM I RIGHT? Even though that refers to the theft, I’m pretty sure But it’s a double entendre I have never seen The 100 which is what number? Tenty-ten Tenty-ten No, TENTY-HUNDRED! Okay, we’ve never seen the one-ty-ty We’ve never watched it But we realised that they killed off Clexa Was it just one part of Clexa? I imagine so Okay, I’m going to review this, knowing nothing about it Yeah and I’m also going to try and find some clips of Supergirl as well I’ve also read, even though I haven’t watched it, but serious spoiler alert But I’m really wanting to watch The Handmaid’s Tale which is based on a book Now, that’s this thing which has pages It’s B O O O K *Buzzer sound for fail* We’re gonna dive in and look at this lesbian death Okay But look, in my opinion as long as it’s not lesbian bed death, it’s cool How are you saying that physical death is better than lesbian bed death? If they’re physically dead, they can’t have sex to begin with! Twilight I know, but she’s not technically a lesbian in that yet He’s more of a lesbian in that than she is Yeah, and he’s dead so lesbian bed death Do you know what? Our friend texted me the other day and said “are you registered to vote?” and I was like “yeah” and then she was like “not gonna lie, I didn’t think you were registered to vote” and I was like “mate, I’m not as dumb as I appear online” and then, wait what did she say? She said something like “yeah, you are” Look at Buffy Joss Whedon was like “right, what can we do, how can we mix this up?” Kill the lesbian Let’s kill her, it’s gonna piss off all the lesbians It really hurt, I thought she was gonna come back for a bit but she didn’t come back It’s like, I’m sorry, but you literally live in the Buffyverse you could have easily brought the lesbian back It’s like, you brought Buffy back! Right, let’s react to Clexa! The death scene in Clexa I’ve never ever watched this I have no emotional attachment to these people But I know that I would if I’d watched it all So I’m speaking for all of you guys Actually, I think we watched the pilot, if it’s from The 100 Can I say, I typed in ‘Clexa death scene’ and what’s come up is ‘Clexa death scene: is not the end!’ So we’re going to watch this death scene completely out of context So…I feel like we’re almost fraudulent for doing this because we haven’t lived through this No, cause it’s good that we’re doing this Let me tell you why Go on Cause we’re looking at it Is it objectively or subjectively? Objectively Either way, we’re non-biased We don’t know whether it’s a good show or a bad show But we’re going in and we’re gonna kinda narrate this lesbian not bed-death Fuck! She’s speaking another language She understands her even though she’s not speaking the same language Why’s her girlfriend dying? Why has she got mascara around her mouth? WHY HAS SHE GOT MASCARA AROUND HER MOUTH? Could they not, like, clean her mouth? Why is she on the shag rug as well? When she’s not getting shagged Okay, there’s no time for poetry, I mean that’s a little gay NO! She’s not going to find another love! She’s going to love you, and you only! No! Aww Stop saying bye! Oh my god! I wouldn’t say bye I’d be like “no, hold on!” “Let’s shag one last time” It’s upsetting me! Shag her now while there’s still time! There’s still time! Get the men out the room Yeah, fuck off men! So she can at least fingersmith her before she goes Aw, she’s going for the kiss Yeah, she’s kissing the sicky mouth The men are loving it FUCK! Is she dead? Yeah, it looks like she’s dead Fuck WHAT KIND OF LESBIAN SNUFF FILM IS THIS? All the men could have left the room so she could at least lay next to her And licked it? I’d leave her eyes open so I could look at them for a bit longer No, cause they might start hazing over Do they do that? That man needs to fuck off and let her have that moment Do you think we should start watching this, cause I think they’re both pretty fit Yeah, they are really fit Which one do you think is more fit? Rosie, you can’t play off women against each other Smash or pass? Smash both He’s crying too, do you reckon he secretly loved her? Maybe he’s her dad Fuck, are they already moving her around? No point putting her in recovery position now Flashback! *Rosie making crying noises* That looked like their first kiss Oh my god! She’s always had mascara around her face! Do you think they’ll meet again? I think she’s dead I love a good blonde and brunette story They’re both blonde, aren’t they? No, that one’s clearly a brunette! Alright, chill out That one’s clearly blonde! I bet the blonde one’s bi #1: Supergirl lesbian kiss scene, Season 2, episode 6 Okay That means there must be some kind of like Season 1 build-up And then below, it says “Alex and Maggie kissing” Let’s watch it! She’s fit Hey LESBIANS! She’s being too straight *Both gasp* Oh, she’s not into it That’s so brave, but I don’t ship this in any way No “I’m straight, you didn’t do anything wrong” They’re in the same place! Oh my god, they’re not cool Well that was a horrible thing I just watched! I’m not watching that! That girl’s basically straight Right, I found what I want you to watch What? Every lesbian kiss on PLL 11 minutes worth! Sold! Yeah, so I love PLL I’ve watched it all Actually I think I’ve got one final episode to watch Fine. I’ve never seen Pretty Little Liars because every time I see it, there always seems to be like a dramatic event It always ends on a cliffhanger every second No no, in every conversation It will be like *dun dun dun dun DUN!* And then it’s the next scene *dun dun dun dun DUN* It’s like how many *dun dun duns* can you actually have? Very accurate, right Let me decide for myself whether I’m gonna ship anyone who’s anyone in PLL Show me some gay! I’m one of those lesbians who has to be like emotionally attached to the storyline to really enjoy the kiss so show me a kiss out of context and I can only find it a certain degree of hot but if I know that it’s like “oh they’ve had such a rough, emotional journey” “oh they used to be in a band together and one of them left but they still love each other” Think that’s their first kiss Why are they at a movie theatre on their own? Because they went on a date *Rose gasps* They spilled the popcorn, fuck! Yeah, I’m in! I’m into the Shay Mitchell babe, who’s this? This is her first girlfriend That’s her mum *Rose gasps* *Both gasp* Ugh, she made her jealous I hate Paige She’s aggressive, I’m not into it I’m not into it at all, I hate her Does she ever kiss Ashley Benson? No Why? Well, because Ashley Benson’s straight That’s stupid That was good, right? That was really good Am I right? I’m 100% watching it from Season 1 Are you really? No Pretty Little Liars is pretty gay It’s really gay! And has any gay character died on Pretty Little Liars? One Let’s talk about all the films that have a heterosexual protagonist story arc That they missed out on a lesbian story arc Right, so films that would have been better if they were gay Right, first of all: all of them All of them Titanic Because that was a little gay, wasn’t it Yeah, oh my god Yeah, that would be so good if she the ship and met a girl and they did the dirty in the carriage And no one died because that’s not allowed in our lesbian films Yeah, and maybe her boyfriend would be less controlling Because she would be like “I’m just off with my girlfriend to walk round the decks” I love it And they’d be, like, fingersmithing Oh, and when they go to the lower deck where all the cool Irish people are dancing they’d all be cool, fit Irish gays Or she’d meet an Irish girl Oh my god what if she met a Galway girl Passengers Lesbian, lesbian So she wakes up a woman Yeah Which is more forgivable Thelma and Louise Well, that was a little lesbian, wasn’t it? Come on Well it was a little bit, but there was no- They died for each other, did they not? Well, you say it was lesbian, but she shags Brad Pitt Yeah, well, every lesbian shagged Brad Pitt Look at Angelina Jolie Die Hard! DIE HARD! Okay, right, so basically Lesbian wives are going through a divorce Yeah And they’ve like, she’s moved They’ve separated Yeah, and then lesbian, kind of like Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider comes in, saves the day and they Gay Hard GAY HARD! They get back together and they gay hard Gay Hard Also,The Sixth Sense That could be The Gay Sense Or it could be Gaydar And he’s like “I see gay people” and he just has this gaydar and he just sees gay people everywhere There’s so much we could do with this! Why aren’t we filmmakers and directors and producers? I don’t know Rosie, one day I think it’s gonna happen Maybe after our stint on Orange is the New Black Ah, you’re right You know, then we’ll be like “we’ve been in some films” We’re going to kick off our career Alright guys, that’s it from us If you can think of any films that would have been better gay films then leave us a comment below Don’t forget to like and subscribe Yeah, let’s get this video up to one-ty-ty likes Alright, take care of yourselves! BYE!