Browsing Tag: satire

    I found AMAZING loot from FISHING in Minecraft! – Part 23
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    I found AMAZING loot from FISHING in Minecraft! – Part 23

    September 13, 2019


    GoOoOoOOOOood morning gamers it’s another beautiful day
    in minecraft and today we have
    a lot of lot of epic stuff to do im actually recording this intro
    after the video because i forgot to
    make one (giggles) so first off, i’ve been cheating on you guys i live streamed yesterday because i need wither skulls our goal in this series right now, our number one priority is to breed our pig army>:) and to make it as strong as possible then what we’re going to do is we’re gonna make our pigs fight one of the bosses of minecraft, the wither now to kill (*make) the wither, you need three (big brain) uh skull thingies which drops in the nether i played yesterday on the live stream and let’s just cut to that footage PAUSE just to give you guys a summary of what happened i enchanted my axe and was crazy lucky and got a great enchantment woah ๐Ÿ˜ฎ damn (bad word smh) sksksk then i enchanted my sword and was even more lucky sharpness 3, sweeping edge 3, fire aspect 2 i think that’s pretty good that’s already so GOOD (laughs in minecraft) alright then there wither skull which has a 5.5 percent chance of dropping drops on the first spawns thats pretty smart to put it in a hallway (GASP) :O woah, woah, im so lucky dude already and if that wasn’t enough it dropped another one right after oh my gawd dude looting three baby im a lucky boy, this live stream was lucky boy then pig explosion thing happened pigman get out of the way OH PIGMAN, PIIIGMAN :(( then I got a third one Come on, Bring it AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YEAAAAAAH! then i got a fourth one! Oh my god Then I built this ugly spawner This spawner is gonna work so good When I wake up tomorrow Daaamn Dude I’m gonna get so much items Daamn Just wait until tomorrow, you guys criticized my spawner Just wait until tomorrow, like, you’re gonna feel awful This is gonna work? Yea, this is gonna work. * MEME REVIEW * Tomorrow when I wake up I’m gonna have so much stuff dude And that’s where the livestream ended Ooh, you hear that? Time to check the che- Wow! I got the scaffold… How could this possibly have failed? Hi guys, I guess you di- AH NO Okay, alright Alright, alright I guess they didn’t die? * INHALES HEAVILY * Wow, look at that, yea Oh look, I have new friends in boat Hello new friends in boat AH, how does that make any sense? Stop friends in- Stop friends in boat Oh he’s shooting his friend in his friend boat Oh no you’re on fire now Alright we’re going together now I don’t care what you think about me, we’re gonna be friends Just go in there * IKEA BIRD ๐Ÿ™ * HE KILLED IKEA BIRD! YOU! COME BACK HERE! HE KILLED IKEA BIRD>:( Once I’m through with you, you’re gonna feel the pleasure- the pain- the pleasure of pain Oh my god, stop I hate you! Say your last sorry Ikea bird… (Ikea bird memories) The parrot! Oh my god it’s so cute Here I’ll give you my seed Oh, you like that? Or that you dislike it HE’S SITTING Is he sitting? He’s blue too Yes, YES, Y E S That’s so awesome! …Was like father to me… How could this happen? It hurts It really does AHH Water sheep Oh gracious water sheep, why does everyone I love die? Oh my gosh NO, not- NOO Oh okay he’s fine, he’s fine How do you make pants in minecraft? Oh man it’s so expensive UGH So as you can tell, it’s getting very expensive to keep up this beautiful diamond armor, so what you can do in minecraft, is that you can make a villager into a librarian But what’s even better, is if you cure a villager, and if you remember, if you watch series epicly, which of course you have This is intense Yo they got villagers Apparently you can cure them We have one of those We need to prepare for the wither as best as we can Okay, so to cure a villager we need one golden apple, my gosh, expensive And a potion of weakness For that we need a fermented EW Fermented spider eye Brown mushroom and sugar How do we make sugar- YOU CAN MAKE SUGAR IN MINECR- From sugar canes, okay Alright, that makes sense Hey, remember when I had a sugar cane farm and then I said I don’t need that anymore Oh okay thank god I saved some Is my spawner working? Oh my gosh there’s so many of them there that’s awesome I feel like there has to be There has to be mushrooms in the mines somewhere Oh my gosh there is diamond here? Hahaha! What? (you never played-) How did i not see this? Oh! OH! I guess i haven’t really showed, like, my mining area It’s not that interesting, that’s why I tried to make a spawner here… But they are poison spiders, which is just obnoxious to even try and do anything with Come on mushrooms, there has to be, there has to be… Where is the mushroom? Hello, have you seen mushroom? OOOH, kill before….Explosion! Pro minecrafter, gamer, yeah… * in gothenburg * damn it Roffan, hurry your ass hey Roff-man come on then come on- there we have it * Cute japonese noises * ROFFE! COME ON THEN ROFFE! here we go Can I put a leash on him? Or maybe?… Golden apple I need that. Maybe a fishing rod. Alright, your’re coming with me Rolf. Look he is wearing a little hat. That’s so cute. You are so cute, Rolf. Oh my gosh! He loves boats! That’s your favorite thing Rolf. Look at him go! He loves to- He just wants to go in water. That’s so nice! When its actually harder to find mushrooms than diamonds. I think we have a problem. Are you scared Rolf? This will be the first time you see sunlight. WOW! (Laughter) (Gasp), Joergen Damn, there’s so many Joergans here. (mutters) Not the black one. Too bad it’s dead. This is nice ’cause I can overlook my area as well, except that eyesore. I’m gonna give it one more try. Lure III, okay that has to be it. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET AWAY FROM HIM! You have your own bed. Oh, I got a book, I got a book! Impaling. Silk touch! That’s pretty good. That’s what I wanted to do. Could you use a dispenser in a fishing rod? Is there an automatic fish farm? I’m sure someone’s figured that out. NO! NO!! NOO!!! YOU SCUMBAG! YOU ABSOLUTE DEGENERATE! HE’S SHOOTING MY TURTLES! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? The babies, they hatched! They all hatched! They all hatched! UGHHH! What is wrong with people? Just shooting turtles! Okay, luckily, it looks like most of them made it. Oh my god, so many! They’re so– haha they’re so cute! Look at this, Sven! (laughter) okay we just gotta keep fishing and then we will eventually grow up and will finally finally have the helmet so we can breathe underwater Oh! It’s raining dangit if we had the trident we could transform everyone right now Damnit! That would have been so good since its raining we have a little roof its so cozy heh! Honestly it’s awesome right Sven? you keeping warm? come on give me good loot lowkey this is so cozy (laughter) just me and my boy fishing so I gotta keep an eye on the babies because when they grow up they’ll drop the scute that’s all I need oh man I forgot, I think you can feed them yeah, yeah, yeah you feed them, oh thats how you make them grow how am I feeding this tiny little things? oh my g- are you okay? are you okay? Is you k? you can barely see the babies but they’re there (GASP) I got one I got a scute! I finally got one! (ANOTHERGASP) they’re growing O he grew up right infront of me O- i keep hearing huh YeS! how many (GASP) oh my god how man- how many do i need? this guys a slow slow grower thats fine so was I there is no shame just because my pp got hair later, there is no shame about that no shame AT all Oh My GOsh I got them all how many I got? I got 10 I got 10 baby keep fricking don’t make me stop you 11 and they ain’t ever stop so now I think if we do like a normal helmet oh my gOd yeSs at last finally turtle helmet is mine ohhoh teenAgE muTanT ninJa TurtLes it matches my glasses so good you like it Sven? (woOf) he loves it do you like it? (WaF) thank you I worked hard to get it look so now I have the b- bubble enchantment on my top right actually I should enchant this right away (EPICENCHANTMENTNOISE) Aqua inFINITY! dyaamm damn look how long I can stay underwater now thanks to the helmet so apparently if I do this right? I should be able to grab it it will just take a loonngg time never mind it didn’t take long at all do I have it? did I actually just place a torch on the water because I- hahahah BiG BrAiN oh it went up didn’t it? there it is I feel like i’m finally umm getting pretty good at minecraft (laughter) alright I think i’m gonna end that episode there I’ve been playing forever and I have to edit this now as well (laughter of pain) oh my god there’s one thing I wanna do before then hey there how are you? you want some food? black jeorgen I forgot how you tame a hor- oh he kicked me off ah (GASP) HE LOVES ME :O black jeorgen i’ll take good care of you I promise jeorgen no no no black jeorgen please uh. come welcome home buddy welcome home… alright cow hit it this is not really the song but whatever alright guys thanks for watching another episode hope you guys enjoyed smash like if you did check out merch if you wanna support the channel and whatever be EPIC I really appreciate it thank you and uhh next episode we’re gonna try and get the trident so we can turn this pig army into an actual army that’s it for me for now see ya later gamers (epic outro)

    (Very Scary) Buying and Opening a Real Dark Web Mystery Box! **Cursed**
    Articles, Blog

    (Very Scary) Buying and Opening a Real Dark Web Mystery Box! **Cursed**

    September 10, 2019


    Guys, I made a huge mistake! I went on the DARK WEB (dark web, dark web, dark web, dark web, dark web) But it’s not my fault! I was roped into it by another YouTuber. He put (Very Scary) in the title. I was curious. What can I say? I wanted to know more. I ended up buying a package from the dark web. And I will unbox it…. At the end of this video. *Intro music wubs* But first! Let’s go through what inspired me to do this. *More intro music wubbing* GUY: Okay, guys we just got it o– *Pewds laughs* Sorry, I’m already nitpicking but– *laughs more* I just noticed this. It’s open. You don’t need to cut it again. It’s open. It’s 100% open. Look at that! He’s cutting nothing! *Wheeze* Oh man…. PEWDS: Anyway, let’s watch the video.
    GUY: Okay guys, we just got it open. PEWDS: Damn, he actually got it open. That must have been really tricky. ‘Cause whoever sent it to him through the dark web did a great job packaging it. With regular home tape. GUY: Yo, what’s going on guys and welcome back to the channel. PEWDS: What’s going on guys! Is every YouTuber in 2018 the same person, just… slightly different? I mean, yeah, obviously. It’s always been like that. GUY: Well, if you guys have been keeping up with the previous videos you guys know about this whole entire Angela situation guys. PEWDS: Of course, who doesn’t know about the Angela situation? Everyone’s talking about it, it’s like the Shane Dawson series. Every YouTuber is discussing this thing. GUY: The Angela doll has still not shown up guys. I have no idea where the hell it went since we played that one-man hide-and-seek, guys. I’m sure it’s gonna turn up eventually, but guys, it’s been like three days now and I still have not seen it. So, I guess until it shows up guys, we cannot make any more videos about it. PEWDS: GUYS! The Angelina situation is totally out of control, and I know you guys really want to see what’s going on with this Angelina thing and guys like I’m trying to not drag out this video at all for you guys. All I want is to entertain you guys, and make sure I get the best possible content for you guys. GUY: You’re gonna want to go watch the previous four videos on this channel guys. PEWDS: I’m gonna go uhh… take my chances on that one. *Laughs* I think I’ll just watch this one. GUY: Three weeks ago, I ordered this dark web mystery box guys for about a thousand dollars. PEWDS: OH, A THOUSAND DOLLARS? SURE!! I like how he just proudly puts some prize on it, like, $1000! I ordered it! GUY: Here’s a picture of what it looks like. It looks absolutely crazy, even crazier when I saw it in real life. But, basically inside of it– PEWDS: Jesus Christ, just get on with it. Alright, so basically this guy bought a package from the dark web. You’ve probably seen these videos in your recommended tab, if not, don’t click on them. They’re never anything interesting. I saw one where it said I bought a hard drive from the dark web and guess what? It was just a hard drive! *Laughs* Buying a hard drive from the dark web, ooh. Oh, wow, it was an actual hard drive. Oh, spooky…. It’s a cursed hard drive because it’s from the dark web, ooh, spooky…. GUY: Basically the dark web guys is this website that can only be accessible from a special type of browser guys. If you want to know more about it, then just go search it up on Google. It literally tells you how to do it all but I definitely– I like how this guy tells me how to Google things. *Laughs* If you guys want to know how this work, there’s this website called Google and you can just look it up yourself. So if you want to know about that, just Google it. *Laughs* WHAT!! GUY: The dark web is not to be played around with. This is where all the negative evil s*** happens, guys. It’s basically run– All the negative, evil stuff is from the dark web. I can’t believe the dark web is coming over… ah! Look, ENERGY! Did you see the chair move?! GUY: –run by this evil cult, and it’s where all illegal–
    PEWDS: *Laughs* It’s run by an evil—
    GUY: –things happen. GUY: But on the–
    PEWDS: It’s where all evil things happen! GUY: Prices range from anywhere from ten dollars to like, ten thousand dollars, guys. Three weeks ago I ordered one that was worth like a thousand dollars, so I’m not gonna be able to afford to do that again for this video. I know you guys– PEWDS: So in this video, he did the budget version of the dark web box. I can’t wait to see what’s inside. What could the dark web send us. Just a bunch of cursed items. It says it in the title, it’s cursed! GUY: Check it out it literally, like, “DW”, I don’t even know–
    PEWDS: Oh my God…. GUY: Ohh, you know what? That stands for the dark web. PEWDS: This guy literally took a moving box, it’s not even a shipping box, it’s one of those uh… moving boxes, and he wrote dark web on it so he could go on camera. Ooh, I think, you know what? I think that means dark web. I’m running through this a bunch of people and we all come up with the idea that it probably stands for dark web. GUY: It’s so freaking crazy. Check it out, guys. Can you even, can you see anything in there? I don’t think you can. I am so nervous to get this open guys. You know what happened the last time I opened one of these things, it did not end good. Just before we get into actually unboxing this dark web mystery box, make sure you go down below and drop a like on this– PEWDS: Of course, of course, you can’t watch a video without it. GUY: –and I say it every video but go down below and hit that subscribe button for– PEWDS: Oh my God, okay, alright, okay. Just, open the box, please. GUY: –you turn on the post notifications.
    PEWDS: Oh, we gotta turn on the post notifications. *Laughs* I’m trying to skip past it and it just gets more. GUY: Holy crap guys, we’re gonna actually do this right now. This is pretty freaking crazy. I got my knife, ready to cut the tape open. PEWDS: Wait, is that knife from the dark web? GUY: There’s definitely something in there, like– PEWDS: I’m glad he bought a package online and it had something in it, that’s always nice. That would have been an epic troll if it was just a box. GUY: Oh, my, God. Alright guys, I just managed to get the dark web box open, and I forgot to mention in the intro that when I ordered this on the Deep Web it said something in the description about it being like from Egypt, or it was like some Egyptian, ancient– PEWDS: I like that he, he had to throw some extra lore in there. GUY: Okay, guys, I’m just gonna have the camera set up like this while we actually unbox this video, uhh, holy crap, guys. Based on the first look inside this, the stuff in here is looking like it’s worth a lot of money guys, like– PEWDS: Okay, so he’s– he’s peeked in the box and he’s had a quick evaluation, and he’s come up with the consensus that it’s worth a lot of money in there. Okay, I’m curious to see what he got, maybe like a bunch of gold or something. GUY: –crap, there is a lot–
    PEWDS: *Laughs* WOW!! That looks like it’s worth a lot of money! He was not kidding, huh? What have we got. Damn. You know what? I- I don’t wanna spoil it. GUY: We got a lot of stuff to go through, guys.
    PEWDS: Yes, let’s go through it. GUY: Okay, we’re just gonna jump into this guys, I’m just gonna reach my hand in there,
    PEWDS: Let’s just jump into it! GUY: and we’re gonna grab the first thing we feel. PEWDS: I like that he saw, that it was a knife in there, and then he decides, “You know what? I’m not even gonna look!” *Laughs* GUY: Kay, what the hell is this, guys? Holy crap, it looks like–
    PEWDS: What the frick, woah…. holy moly shmoly…. PEWDS: That looks like something you could just buy from CVS in the Halloween section. And it’s October right now. My God, the Egypts, the Ancient Egypts must have copied us. What are the odds? GUY: –some sort of like, it looks like one of those cups like where you freaking pour– PEWDS: It looks like one of those cups, where he… is he trolling? He has to be trolling! I know he’s pandering to children, but the words he use are just so moronic that I can’t tell if he’s deliberately putting them in there, as a joke, or if he just doesn’t know how to ar- articulate himself. GUY: –this, guys. Holy crap. It looks like some sort of like, it looks like one of those cups like where you freaking pour the blood in and the people like, a evil cult drinks out of it guys. It’s got like a creepy freaking skull face on the front. Oh my God, I wonder who has touched that. PEWDS: You have. You touched it. GUY: More importantly, I wonder what it’s worth. I’m trying to get my money back from buying this, guys. Ho– PEWDS: I wonder what it’s worth. Well, this is a crazy coincidence, but you can also buy them for three pounds. Guys, this is frickin crazy. They’re also selling them in China, but he said they got them from Egypt. This is very scary. GUY: Oh my god. I wonder who has touched that.
    PEWDS: Some Chinese worker, that’s who’s touched it. *Laughs* GUY: Guys, I feel like there’s secretly like a freaking old rat living in this box and it’s gonna like bite my finger off Okay. Whoa, what the hell is this? PEWDS: It’s a Gucci…cat.
    GUY: Oh my God…. Guys, this looks like, ohhh! ‘Cause the, you guys, remember I was saying the box had some like sort of Egyptian thing in the description? I don’t know about you guys, but this looks like some sort of Egyptian thing, guys, look– PEWDS: This guy, he needs to be a detective, I mean. *Laughs* First of all he uncovered the secret of the text, where “DV” stands for dark web, and then he connected that the Egypt object had something to do with the fact that he ordered it from an Egyptian curse thing. Oh my god if anyone’s Egyptian in the comments and can tell me what this says, that would be greatly appreciated. That is freaking— PEWDS: Even Stromedy himself recognize that that’s beyond his level, you know. Hey guys. If you’re an Egyptian, leave a comment down below what you think these hieroglyphics mean? Hey guys, if you’re Swedish, just let me know what these Nordic runes means. I would greatly appreciate it. As you all know ancient languages. One of my favorite objects is of course the knife that he just added in there for extra effective spookiness. I guess he looked at the box that he– with all the stuff that he bought from a Halloween store and thought, “well, not spooky enough. We need to add a knife in there.” But the best part about it is his comment about that there’s a knife in there. GUY: Oh my god. There’s something sharp. I think I just cut myself What the hell…. Guys the freaking knife. Guys, I literally have a knife exactly like this. That’s so weird. PEWDS: WHAT ARE THE ODDS?!! *Laughs* I like how he does this just in case some cynical ten-year-old is watching this be like, “Wait a minute! He has that knife, I’ve seen it in the background of one of his videos!” He can just go, “whoa, it looks just like it, whoa, it looks just like the kitchen knife I have.” “I just got THE CHILLS!!” This is another genius observation coming up by the way. GUY: What is this… PEWDS: What is this.
    GUY: Oh– PEWDS: Guess in the comments what he’s going to guess what that is.
    GUY: –my gosh, guys. It looks like a freaking rope. PEWDS: This guy’s, this guy’s the next Sherlock Holmes. It looks like a frickin rope guys. GUY: Okay, I don’t even want to say what I think this might have been used for guys. But that’s pretty weird a frickin rope and it’s like one of those old ropes guys, like, holy crap. PEWDS: Ever heard of those old ropes? *Laughs* This goes on for ten more minutes?! PEWDS: Whoa, is that a real skull guys?
    GUY: Oh, my, God, guys. Okay, for those of you that are freaked out, this– PEWDS: Oh! Okay. What is it?
    GUY: –does not look like a real skull. PEWDS: AH! Oh, thank God! Ah, thank God!! Oof! GUY: –but I wonder what the hell this was used for guys and why it’s in the box. This is pretty frickin creepy guys. PEWDS: Yeah, I wonder what that was used for, but most importantly, I wonder how much it’s worth. I want to make sure he makes his money back on this. GUY: Look at that, look at that. That is so creepy. PEWDS: He’s got a ball. GUY: What is this? GUY: We found some, like, weird looking… ball?
    PEWDS: It’s a ball… it’s a ball… ball, you found a ball. PEWDS: *Laughs* This is too good, what else do we got? GUY: What is this? Oh my God, okay. I don’t even want to touch that. I think you guys can already assume what the hell that was. PEWDS: Your mom’s tampon? *WUBWUB WEEEEEEW WUWUWUB WUWUWUB* GUY: What is this? Oh my god it goes forever.
    PEWDS: It goes forever. *Laughs* GUY: Holy crap. All right, guys, we found some like weird dark chain? PEWDS: Wait a minute. That’s the chain from the other
    GUY: –and if you guys are thinking “oh that’s the chain from the other mystery box” it’s literally not, guys, like, you can go compare the colors. This one is like a dark–
    PEWDS: Oh, damn it. He got me. You’re right. That one is darker. That chain is darker from the other one. He also has some letter.
    GUY: –dark web box, and the paper looks pretty new guys, like it’s not an old paper. It looks like it was literally just printed. Right as it was being shipped. PEWDS: You mean right as you just put it in the box. It also has the exact same font as he used in another stupid video. I don’t know why I’m even trying to prove him or whatever! Okay? I don’t need to do this. But the most important part of this is: I ordered a box from the darkest web. I paid not just a thousand. I paid ten thousand. So I hope I get my monies back. We’re gonna unbox it right now. So I got this. This is the box that I got from– So this is the box that I got from the Deep Web guys. It arrived just this morning and it says, …wait a minute…. It says… Death Pantry. What the frick guys. What does that stand for? What does that even mean? That must mean something death, like… dying? Guys, am I gonna die from opening this? Okay, guys, we’re gonna have to freakin unbox this right now, but if I die, you have to smash like on this video right now. Whoa. Holy crap, guys, it’s got this… Whoa. Oh, my God it goes forever. It’s got this wrapping plastic in it. It must be some cursed wrapping plastic, filled with demons or something, maybe there’s like a ghost *Pop* Whoa. Oh my gosh, guys. Oh… oh…. It’s got a doll in it. This must be some kind of cursed frog. Oh my gosh, no way. No way! A kitchen… whisker… machine… thing. GUYS! This is just like the one I have in my house. This must be some… ancient demon trapped in a box. Oh my god guys. It’s trying– the demon is trying to kill me. It’s time for random shout-out time! Random shout-out time! This time, it’s actually not so random. I found this video, thanks to Critikal, he does great videos, I really enjoy his channel. He’s always finding new interesting things for me to steal from. I was also part of one of his podcasts that he does, it’s really great as well, so if you want to check that out, I’ll leave that in the description. but overall just a nice, great dude that I don’t really know, I’m just assuming. *Laughs* And also to… Stromedy, if you’re watching, I hope you enjoyed this little video. I’m sure you did. Just a fun little meme! I can’t wait to see what happens with the doll. So, good luck with that. Bai!!!

    I LOST my horse in Minecraft (REAL TEARS) – Part 4
    Articles, Blog

    I LOST my horse in Minecraft (REAL TEARS) – Part 4

    August 25, 2019


    Welcome back to Minecraft part 4, gaming week. I was mining my house Okay I was building this thing and I’m placing a stairs and I see this guy Who is that? What the frick are you? Go away! Hello? Get off my property, I have a gun. Maybe he’s a friend. I don’t want to be racist Hello? He killed a fish! Hello? Hello, I’m talking to you. Oh jeez you’re creepy. Oh God. (9 year olds):
    “Minecraft isn’t scary, Felix”. (*Clears Throat*) Okay. Dude, we can be friends. Hey you want melon? Do you like this? Oh, look at this he like it. What are you doing with that block? Hey, hey put that block down! Put that block that do- Goddammit! Put it down. Put it down. Put it down! Put it down! Where are you going? My god, there’s endermens everywhere. I have to kill them. All right, do I kill endermen? He just farted! (Screams of terror) I’M SORRY The melon! Hey, melon, take it! Aah! Jesus! What the frick dude, that was so scary! You better not steal my stuff dude. We’re cool. It’s all good. Just like nothing happened. All right, you just all right. I’ll stick to what I’m doing You stick to what you’re doing and no more melon from now on The audacity of some people. Okay. So basically I built this indoor pool. It’s pretty sweet. It lights up at dark And uh, I’m like building the house. Just making it nice Making it cool. It’s gonna like, you know, be a thing. It’s gonna I’m gonna live here actually, there’s one thing I been wanting to do cuz when when I started playing Minecraft The the bed was automatically red. That’s how I remember Minecraft, but now they have dye and stuff so I think if I do this and this WOW It’s a red bed! Now I feel at home. Now I can sleep at night. There it is. That’s what I remember Oh, that takes me back. You wake up to burning zombies. That’s what I like That’s what I like to see. I haven’t finished this because I want to fish So we I want to have I want to have actual fishes in my house I want like the stars and this night and everything to be epic. No! I only have one string god damnit what drops strings? Do spiders drop strings? I’m sorry. Mr. Spy there you have to die Yes, ha ha Oh Also, by the way, oh, yeah don’t jump on the crotch. Everyone lost their mind lysippos. Oh, I am learning as I’m going, okay No, I’m not a Minecraft veteran yet We’re going for the ender dragon Snaggin what was I doing? I already forgot. Yes a fishing rod. That’s what we’re doing I know how to make it in by hand But just so you guys learn I’m making a fishing rod then of course, we need a boat, right? both time Both time. Sorry Jurgen. You can’t come with me. What’s the grass not growing? All right, doesn’t matter. It’s both time Damn I’m fast. Oh Yeah. Oh, yeah That’s what I’m talking dude. That’s a fish right there. That’s a fish right there. Here we go. Bros. Here we go Come on come on grab it. Come on grab it Come on you want it don’t need a bait on the fish. Don’t laugh at me. You’re again. I’m trying here Do I need a bait for it? I probably need a bait for it. Could I actually just capture him with my bucket? This is how we fish in Sweden with buckets Come here, man Come here, man. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here Tactical fishing haters said it wasn’t possible But I got a bucket of fish now you go in there, oh my god, I got a bucket of What where he got again, my friend we gotta get him a friend Bros Technically you’re supposed to row a boat backwards So this game isn’t that historically accurate after all? Okay. All right, we’re going scuba diving Can you make scuba diving equipment in this what the hell just happened? god, I’m God I’m God it’s scary down there. No, I’m not scared of everything in Minecraft. Okay, you know what? Let’s just make a bunch of buckets I don’t have time for this It’s bucket making time smash like if you’re excited for bucket making time. That’s what I thought. That’s what I thought All right, we’re making but that’s what I thought. That’s what I thought. All right, we’re making buckets. I Got a bucket full of bucket full of sunshine Jesus Christ what is happening? Or you can drown in Minecraft That’s so unrealistic Commit god. Damn. Why can the fishes breathe underwater then, huh? Explain that liberals. Let’s try and find more exotic fishes You are Oh God. Everything is scary in this game. Come back here God damn, they’re too fast squeezies Come on All right, you’re too ugly yesterday, I’m sorry Those are the Minecraft rules don’t look at me. I don’t make it up your ugly you die You’re coming with me in the bucket right now, I don’t come in the bucket. All right in the boat then fine No, I want my turtle in my house Can we drown the people Oh Kitty, kitty, you’re going in the bucket get it. You’re going in the bucket. You have no saying kitty your dog in the bucket You’re going in the bucket. Come here you snake God, damn it so Disrespectful what’s happening? Hello How’s he doing? Dude, you got so much bread, bro. Yes, you know mine do you? Go I’ll sleep in his house Have you been looking at me the whole night? Well, sorry I thought it was my house What I can make dyed pants what leather? Okay, six leather. I’ll be right back cartography table All right, well this pool idea is very underwhelming Why are they old there? Is it the draft in the water? All right, it’s cow murdering time Peter. I have to do it. I have to get emerald I have to get dyed pants. All right, you gonna die You didn’t even drop leather. You’re useless. They’re escaping. They’re escaping They were escaping the camp No, they’re all this gay Bank. What the god? Damn it you are you and you’re dead. You’re dead. You’re just dead That’s what happened. No one escapes my camp All right one gets to live because he’s good. You escape you die. That’s the rules well You’re all there you suck dude, I will now we can get an epic pants. At least now we can get the Gucci pants Hey, come on, did I tell you to stop? You the Gucci pants guy. There you are six. I need six. Are you crazy? Oh My god, dude, let’s let’s bounce uragan. These people are trying to swindle us Alright, well this works out because I actually wanted to just ride out and murder people I haven’t really explored the area although oh wait, actually, I forgot. I want to make a comp s. Can you make a compass? I remember making a compound even back in my day. I don’t want to get lost. I don’t want to lose my epic house Boom boom boom and then in the middle. There’s my compact. Alright, we’re going out on an adventure Oh It tells you where the house is Oh That’s so nice. Stop. Stop resisting stop resisting We got six. Okay, no more killing. We only reap what we sow that is not how that expression marks. Okay? Well, I feel a lot more confident just riding off seeing what we’re gonna find You know I’m saying like who knows what we’re gonna find Like a little hole. That’s pretty cool. Actually. I do need coal. Hold on. Hold up once a Your again Again Yeah again, where is here again Where’s here again again, it’s getting dark. Yeah again when You’re again He must be here somewhere Oh God Hello. Have you seen her again? Oh God, big one help me. I looked away one second, and then he was gone Have you seen Jurgen? Oh my god. He must have fallen down the hole or something. He must be so scared. Oh God no, I was hoping he maybe he ran back home Scared chicken. Oh So happy, oh I’ll never leave you again here again, whoa Jesus almost fell down there My god It’s dangerous this game. Whoa, what a mountain Well, what is that The shipwreck What is that? All right, you’re gonna stay here Gonna make sure it’s safe What kind of wood is this Is that a treasure chest oh My god Minecraft oh My crack paper Hey you’re again God, dammit. Why does he keep like stay yet Oh God not this again. I left him here. Oh I hear him. You snake where are you sir? Way to get a whistle to get your horse to again. Oh My god, I look so pimp I have less armor, but I look cool so it’s okay Why do I hear him but not see him What? What the hell is this? Have you kidnapped Jurgen? Hey What the hell are you? You tried to kill me. I’ll kill you It’s a crossbow you should wait too slow bro Cool it’s getting dark again. The Jurgen is nowhere to be found. Hey look more enemy flowers. I know I Hear them here. They are not here. Explain my oh My god What the hell are you wearing? What is this? They must have captured your again give them back to me Jurgen are you in here? There again, I hear you. I Hear you you seen the trees or some shit. Oh My Why do I feel like I’m going crazy where This yard again The thing is I hear you The ghost of Jurgen is haunting me I swear to God It was my only friend Now I can’t find him I Looked away two seconds And then he was just gone just Like that Where oh my God, where were it do keep disappearing it? Oh Alright we have him back. I looked all night literally all night. I Don’t know what you were doing and I’m not even gonna ask Going back home here again What the hell is that got a donkey gonna come with me donkey You want someone weak Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Yeah, yeah

    Articles

    I found a DOG in Minecraft!!! – Part 7

    August 22, 2019


    Gaming Week Supreme is back with Minecraft. Minecraft. How many episodes until I become an official Minecraft channel… NOW, Some new things has happened. Do you remember that vendor that I was like, “Should I kill him?” And everyone said “Yes”, but I didn’t do it? Well, I killed him. *laughs* And now his llamas, oh, they finally stop spitting at me! Oh thank God, they kept spitting at me. Oh, we’re friends now, that’s awesome. So I have their leashes, wish I could use on Jørgen. What up boat cow? oH, I’m riding llama!! Oh, oh, yeah! Miiinecraft! ( subtitle by *I am HeRe *in description at bottom) *laughs* This is aWEsoMe! *breathes in* Okay… OH There’s another thing I want to do. Okay. So look at this, gamers. I was like… I was like, “Oh yeah my storage. It’s getting a little cramped.” So I make EPIC storage. That’s right, gamers. Now, I have plenty of space to store all my dirt. *laughs* I also have lava dispenser which I can just toss bad things into, this is very respectable. It just takes me a while to find What I is I need to find? All right. Don’t worry about it. Ah, here it is. Name tag. So a lot of you been saying that I can put a name tag on Joergen and I’m like, “That’s epic.” Joergan… How I put name tag on you? Take it, it’s a friend! Joergan, don’t make me hur- NOOO! AHHH! I’M SO AAA! SORRY! Quick… Joergen, he must heal, he must heal! Eat it! You need to eat something, you’re gonna die! ๐Ÿ™ Stop spitting! Oh, I need an anvil… Anvil. Can- I can’t make an anvil. How I make anvil? Iron ingot… Block of iron *gasp* NANI? One, two… Woah. These are so pretty… Okay. So it’s like this. Alright. Look at this gamer. Anvil, baby! Smash like if you’re a gamer and you knew how to make an anvil from head. What… BAM! It’s nametag time bros. Okay, uh… this Alright, he should be called… “Joergan”. Enchantment cost? WhAt? How do I get a- jEr- wha- What? What? I did it! Joergan, you’re gonna have a name! This is historical moment. Oh wait It was supposed to be Joergan II! God damnit What is enchantment cost? What am I paying my soul? Here you go Joergan, Joergan #2! yeEAh!! Eat some whEAt! Alright so surely- Oh, wow. Llamas are… EW. Yo, you’re so close Go away. Did we not love each other? I think this situation is getting a little out of hand. Guys, please… One at a time, one at a time. I’m so generous. Look at this. Jesus Christ dude! Joergan! Stop it>:( Now… I know for a fact that Joergen isn’t gonna run anywhere. That’s amazing. And Joergen look, you have frieNd! …You say another word to me… and it’s the axe. *dramatic sounds* Okay, cool. So today we’re gonna do EPIC adventure, we’re gonna go through nether portal! Okay, gamers. It’s portal time! *epic portal sounds* wooWahwoOwuh **PANIC** mmMMMhH mmHHHH mmmhHMM *attack on titan plays* aCK GODDAMNIT! What are you doing here?? I didn’t know you could be here! Oh god, I almost choke on G FueL. That was crazy. Okay, let’s go gamers. Jesus Christ dude, whoever said Minecraft wasn’t scary told a lie. Aight I gotta be careful here… because the ghost-lady-thing blew up mY BRIDGE! My poor bridge… ;( Didn’t do anything… Look at that. Look at this, dude Very epic. Let’s go through gamers. Wait… Pigman went through. Pigman! Go back home! Pigman, you have to go back home. You’re lost and confused. Don’t worry, I’ll help you. …What if I kill him in this world? Then I can get his epic diamond sword. Pigman, Pigman stop! Pigman stop! Stop! Stop! You’re gonna get yourself killed Pigman, please, please pigman… PIGMAN! PIGMAN! Okay… DAMNIT! How??? Oh yeah, we’re going to the city because I need to trade wheat. Because if I trade wheat, I get the pearls and I like pearls. *laughs* …I don’t know what to do with them. That bunny just die? Oh my god. It’s being invaded! AAAAAAAAHH- WHAT IS THIS?? Kill the small ones! Kill younglings! Guys, this is not epic. There’s a zombie invasion! What the hell is this?? This is not my battle, this is not my fight! BUT FOR SWEDEN AND JOERGAN! Oh gOd WoAh …. WoW *bird sounds* Oh god …. ah No! Ah! It’s getting dangerous, eat! What is that, a wizard? This is too epic, gamers! I don’t wanna die! Not like this! AAAAAAH Blow them up, creeper-san! YeEeAaA That’s gamer intuition, what to do with the right- eehhhm Don’t worry I saved your city, now trade me wheat What’re you guys doing? (yeah)*2 eW, What are you doing with that? Ew! Ew, wizard it’s time to- goddamn it, I lost the wizard! Where’d the Wizard go? I kill wizard He still be here. I look away one second. He’s still here. I swear. I swear I can’t play two minutes of this game without getting distracted. What was I doing? Look there enchanted arrows. I Knew it was wizardry. Is he the one that attacked the village? wOaH woah, woah, woah, woah, woah wuawuawuawuawuawua Trade me wheat, sir No nOt paper- there it is. There’s only one emerald? fine That’s pretty more Thank you. Thank you for your business Look we got that bling! We got that emerald. He trade me for wheat. What a wheat. You know, I sit- oh we can trade these for bricks wOW That’s amazing, I don’t understand what’s happening here. That’s just all I’m saying No discrimination like they can be what- you look like such a pimp! You just sell me paper you- do I look like I need paper? You look like you’re stone out of your goddamn mind! Oh, I get it oH i GeT iT You think they give you a thanks for saving this city but nO, minecraft heroes Do exist Never take one for granted. All right, there’s a new area. I want to explore let’s get it gamers. WhOa! There’s… oh god There’s mountains up in the distance Okay, this could be a good place to set up camp One two, okay, we set up a new camp gamers This is epic Very good second house Be quiet But that’s not why we’re here. We’re here to explore new adventures and lands while you were out Meeting new people I was mining fluxing minecraft discovering new worlds looking at new places WhAt is that a boat? It’s Titanic. We found it. What is all this? It’s icebergs, it’s freakin icebergs in Minecraft wHaT What can I mine these ? Do they explode *gasps* AaAaA It’s ice. What if we found Titanic what would you do? WhAt, what is that? What is that that is? Awesome. I’m being like ironic about it But it looks so cOoL This is so awesome There is so many places to GoOoo *laughs* WhAt there’s bears, how can there be bears? Hello bear Konichiwa *confusion noises* No kumi san Do you want, you-ga I give you, you want this? You want some bone? Alright Fine leave then see if I care There’s Titanic. I freaking found tita-*wheezing sounds* gamers Gamers. Oh My god, we gotta find it an airlock or else this is not gonna last very long Oh god , i’m crazy. Why did I do this? aAaAaA *breathes in* *breathes out* *gasp* I’M UNDER THE ICE…..AAAAAAAAA NoO, no no no no no oohoohoo *exaggerated gasping* I Really- some people said I can make a potion to breathe under water go down god, damn it Where’s the chest *gasps* found it Oops I read them bitches don’t need them Yeah, what’s in the books? separate books huh. chest number two? Okay, oh Oo , ow Okay, we’re okay, we’re okay let’s not be greedy now. We got another treasure map bros. We’re actually not that far. Should we? *happiness noises* Maybe later maybe later Got plenty of places to go Like this, is this, is this just like a mountain? Is this not special at all? Just looks like an eagle castle, doesn’t it? That’s another boat. Are you kidding me? Now I can’t find too many things ๐Ÿ™ WoW Minecraft….MiNeCrAfT The greatest game I have ever played There’s so many things to explore again. look at that! look at that! It’s all coming out of the mountain. Fucker get awa- what I- Godamn. I hate them. Alright, so let’s build a tower here, so that we can find our way back to Joergen later. Cause if we can’t make it back to Joergen, then what’s the point? And also, Okay, dare me to jump. Jesus Christ, I’m scared. Oh God weeeeeeeeee Oh ho Did I just unironically say, “wee?”. Okay there’s clearly something down here. All will be, *gasps* there’s something over there toOoOo *zombie noises* My boat, my boat *more zombie noises* *zombie noises* What is ha- that’s my bohoho . What are you doing? *laughs* Oh, they’re going together, that’s so cuuute. Okay you guys are cool. You guys can chill with me. I saw a light down here. This is just an airlock, oh it is. It’s evolved. Alright guys lowkey need the boat back. Can you please Can I make a new boat? I don’t have enough material Guys I need the boat. I need the freakin boat. Oh my god. Hey! We can be friends. We can ride boat together. Oh it is an underwater city. oH wOw Ok, so some of you told me that these magma blocks you can step on them to replenish… your air? Which is not working Oh it is working. This makes no sense… minecraft *gasps* chest! Golden Apple baby! Frick yeah! Dude we got brick over here. I’ll grab some brick another chest Can’t open it Ow , ow It’s just wheat gamers God damn it. That is so cool Such a giant waterfall dude. Look at that tree, dude We don’t get trees like that at home. Oh my god, the map is filling in Fine, we’ll do one more But this time, I’ll find the goddamn. All I’m saying is the loot better be EPIC Okay, here we go. Hopefully it’s not under water this time. Oh god it is Uh Alright x marks the spot. *gasps* Oh my god, I found it right away. Oh my go- *proceeds to laugh* What the hell? *continues to laugh* I can’t believe it. What. Why’d it take me so long last time? Oh god. I am way too slow. Dude we got diamonds. I don’t care if I’m choking *slowly dying* Oh! No! Oh god Huh…. no Joergen…what? uh No, I have to head back uHhHhHhh How long does the item stay? Oh god, where was it ? uhHh uHhH Where was it? Oh god, I don’t remember. Wait, I can review the footage. Oh my god, I am such an idiot. I’m retracing my steps. Oh god, the sun is setting Such a beautiful sunset Oh god, it’s- Okay, oh my god I found it! oh it’s all floating! Oh god, yes. *grunts then breathes out* *keeps breathing out exaggeratedly* Oh dude there’s a wizard And Enderman, oh god don’t look at its eyes. Look. We got heart of the sea. I think this is like an actual rare item There’s another floating treasure map. No big deal. I think I’m stuck Alright you guys told me I need to kill these guys. So I’m just gonna do it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. This is not personal I think you’re cool. If I had to pick, then we would chill and eat melon and be epic Oh, what if I blow him up? Alright see you in a bit , okay gamer *explosion* *happiness noise* Got em! Did he drop item? That was epic. Man this place is so much cooler I feel like I should immigrate here with Jeorgen. He would like the trees. And the ice mountains. Whoa. What is that? Whoa! He’s got a freaking trident dude. I’m under attack gamers. Oh my god! He dropped the gold? This guy’s a rich *dies* NO! Are you kidding me? Stop Felix. Stop. Stop what you’re doing, you idiot. Oh goddamn it, goddamn it. *intense breathing* I’m going to sleep and when I wake up, i’m gonna get my stuff back. *constipation noises* AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! *shrieking* nOoOo AaAaAaAaAa Don’t panic, don’t panic. It’s FiNe Stop being so greedy Felix goddamn it why. here we go again. *sad laughing* Was it here it was here wasn’t it? Oh my god. There he is Oh God. Okay. OhHhHh yeah gamers. I’ll get him. If I wasn’t such a klutz. You know, at least he didn’t steal my stuff. I appreciate that. Where’s the gold? Where’s the diamond gold? Oh it begins. Dude he does so much damage. Alright, so the plan is to let him shoot his friend. There you go, and then we swim towards him. You can’t do this forever. *gasps* He, dropped it! *gasps* That’s a super rare drop! Get it! Get it! Get it! Get it! I got a trident. Yeah, yeah. I got a trident! Alright, I gotta trident. Can I shoot? *gasps* wHaT?? That’s awesome Just wait until Joergen sees this. Oh my god, he’s gonna flip out. Alright, I’m going home That’s enough, Felix. You’re going straight home to pancakes *gasps* pancakes? I’ve actually become a-infantilized by this game. Damn, it feels good to come back with this much epic loot Today all gamers gets bread Diamonds when I walk, diamonds when I talk. Yeah. Diamonds when I walk , ohh. I can make a conduit with heart of the sea? Aight, I’m going to sleep. Dude, I’m getting pro at minecraft, I’m finding so many stuffs! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whao! Hold on, hold on. I’m rich. That’s more money than I traded from wheat in a year supply. Did I just win the lottery? Thirteen, what? And then you get potatoes and paper. Aqua infinity… Does that mean I can breathe under water better? Let’s try it. Oh, it does seem like the bubbles are different. nO wAy There’s no difference, I’m an idiot. All right, let’s get the second treasure map because The loot was too good. I can’t ignore. Oh my god. There’s another one *Pewds laughing* uHhHhh haha This one is all blown up dude. Found it right away gamers. And it’s potato and carrot stew tonight gamers. What a poor shit! This is Ikea shit! Huh? Goddamn this one is far away. I’m gonna have to Dude look at that Minecraft was not this epic when I played it, okay? you would not see stuff like that. So sorry if I am super amazed. Dude there’s a dog thing. Oh my god. Hey dog. *gasps* I Love you, come back. I give more steak You want more steak? How about, you like potatoes. You want potato? carrot? Okay, it’s cool. Maybe bones. Oh another one. Want another one? Keeps looking at me. You’re so cute! Dude, I’ve given you everything I have. Don’t look at me like that. I’m cooking chicken for this dog *laughs* Is the chicken done? Give him the chicken! Hi doggy You want apple? No? what about chicken, you like chicken? *gasps* He likes chicken. Now go in. Now go in mate. Go on then. I don’t- that’s all I have. Don’t leave me I love you. I don’t have anything else, mate It’s not abuse, it’s not abuse. damn it! Just go in there, just go in there Just go in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah Daddy’s coming home.. very soon. Just need to- what am I doing? I’ll leave him with apple… And water, okay He’ll be fine Be right back, I’ll be right- AAAAAAAAAAAA!! No, no, not today mr. Creeper God, I need to start making maps. I just need to follow this. B O N E S I heard bones over here and I need them I’ve never been so glad to see these guys No bones? Doggy, hi doggy. *gasps* He’s sitting! He’s so cuuuuuute. Oh he’s got a collar, does that mean you’re my friend? What? Let’s go gamer. I need to bring you back home Joergen… is gonna see you Oh, he can sit?! *proceeds to laugh* That’s so cute, what other commands does he know? Good doggy. How do I command the dog, like go? Fetch. Will he just follow me? *gasps* Oh, more bones. Oh god. Oh my god, is he attacking? Go doggy!! Get him, he’s running away! *laughs* You’re not so tough now are ya? He likes the bones, here have a bone. He needs a name… Sven It’s… Sven. Sven is on the f-attack. Let’s go gamer. Did you hear that, Sven? I think we’re getting close to the treasure, but my god, we’re far away from home All right, just Cool, Sven can teleport that’s good to know. Oh, we’re filling in the map. Oh my god, diamonds and heart of the sea again! Goddamn we’re on a roll today. We got Sven. We got all these epic stuff click, click. click, click, click, click, click, click, click We got it, let’s bounce gamer Okay, now we just gotta find our way home *laughs* Oh god God with Sven swimming it might take a while. I think someone has earned a little snack, Sven That’s right. I love you, too. We’re gonna have to stay the night in here Sven. It’s okay. It’s cozy. I know you’re scared of dark. I lit up for you Look, he’s got his little spot. That’s so cute, sit. *laughs* I’m such a child. cUuUuUte *laughs* Who’s a good dog? Oohoo, that’s right, you Sven. I’ve been playing it for two hours? *laughs* And I still have so much to do! *laughs some more* All right, that’s enough. Let’s go gamer. Oh god, it’s a creeper. Let me take care of it Don’t hurt my dog Can I give a shield to Sven? Oh god what if we– What if we don’t make it back? Do I start a new home with Sven? But what about Joergen..? Well, there’s a house here *gasps* what? I was looking for my boat, let’s get real we’re never gonna make you back home. There’s too many distractions. What is this? Dude this looks so cool It’s more villagers. Good talk. Oh he take- he actually trades rotten flesh. I have so much of it. I saved it for no reason. It’s a cat wearing armor? *gasps* Does that mean you can wear armor? Sven? Hello? No He was here a secon- No, I can’t do this. I cannot have another pet that act like this Oh, where is he? Oh my god, there he is. I can’t do this. Sven, but you gotta swim dude.. My god, are you actually this slow? Look he teleports. Oh my god Is this how we’re gonna have to do it, Sven? There you go. *laughs* Oh my god, this is gonna take so long, but it will be worth it. Goddamn it. Oh my god, it’s a sea turtle. It has stranded itself Don’t worry sea turtle. I save your life. Wow I save your- There you go. You’re back with nature And your mom friend thing. Live, live goddammit. I have to sit through the night again because this guy can’t swim. What? We walk back to this house. So that’s where the compass said- Joergen..! Joergen!! There’s someone I want you to meet Joergen Sveeen Sveeen and Joergen and the boat cow and the llama guys my- and-and water sheep.. Okay, this is epic. Yay ๐Ÿ™‚ Sit. *laughs* Ohhhh boy did we get some epic loot, Joergen. The adventures I can tell you about. All right, this definitely does it for this episode Damn What (x2,) you never played super simulator? PFFT! You know, it’s fun right? I’m not supposed to give my opinion, But give it a try and then you can tell me if it’s good or not. Not convinced yet? Okay. I’ll cut you a deal.. The game is available for free and that’s a great price!

    Minecraft Part 1
    Articles, Blog

    Minecraft Part 1

    August 20, 2019


    Gaming *burp* week! Say it with me. GAMING WEEK! “Oh, he doesn’t play enough games anym-” GAMING WEEK! Starting off with the ultimate game of all time… Minecraft. That’s right. I have not played Minecraft properly in… ever. I played the game when it was in alpha. That’s right! Hipster Notch supporter! I think a lot of it has changed. I’m not sure. Okay! Let’s just jump into it! Why do I not have sound? Okay, so create a new world. What should we name it? “broland”. Good one! Here we go, guys! Historical moment! My first video ever was a minecraft video! Does it always take this long? Here it is. Oh… My… God… After all these years. I’m back in Minecraft. i have this new… Is that a *censored* horse? That’s a freaking horse! OH MY GOD THERE’S HORSES IN MINECRAFT? KAWAIIIII! u-uma desu?! Can I ride it? *GASP* OHHHH!!!!! OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH! AH! Look, it’s tiny horse! Hello, tiny horse! This is amazing! ๐Ÿ˜€ I love Minecraft! *giggling* Why are they sliding? *giggles* Okay, bye bye horse! So I have… I got my outfit. There it is! *giggles* yeah!! Bobs or Vegana — eyy! *giggles* whatever will it be? I don’t really remember how you play- I think the first thing you do is chop down wood. That’s right. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. You definitely chop down wood. chop, chop, chop! There we go. New recipe unlocked? Amazing! You know, I’m sort of a veteran. I don’t need you kids to tell me how to play Minecraft. I know how to play Minecraft. *zombies* Oh god, what was that sound? Oh yeah! You have to build a– AH! *more zombies* You have to build a shelter before night. That means we’ve got to get fire; that means we’ve got to build a door. We’ve got a lot of things to build. Oh god. help Is there anyone out there? Oh- that’s not what I wanted to do… Alright, i got a lot of stuff. So how do I build.. a twig? There it is! I got it! Still got it baby! Look at this, dude. What else can I build? Oh my god, the crafting table! I’m learning so much about science! and stuff… I’m already a Minecraft pro. And i’ve only played like half an- Ah! Jesus.. *zombie noises* Okay- what is that?! Why is it so spooky? *splashing* AH! *giggles* I’m scared.. of minecra- I’ll go back to the horses. Alright, so where should we build our… first house? This is nice, it’s by the beach. It’s pretty epic. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Here, we’ll build it here. This is perfect. What is that? Nani kore? What is that? AH! There’s… OCTOPUSSY? There’s CAATS? Alright, before we advance any further, I must protect myself. Now, I remember some things. There it is! Still got it! So how was a sword, then? Sword was like… What is this… recipe… Oh ok… uhh… sword… Oh it does it for you. Let’s get an axe as well. Oh my god, this is so easy! kitty, get over- hEY>:( don’t you DARE hurt kitty whatever you are kitty, come here:) *sims music* e p i c. goddamn, i need coal, don’t i? i need to find c o a l. oh god, the sun is setting bois. oh god, i need something to light up. god damN iT this is real bad ( ; ω ; ) pig, please. do something ಠ_ಠ i can’t even ride the pig, are you kidding me? alright, coal. let’s find c o a l. ah perfect- (falls) oW heRe. there should- oh! woah- WO A H tHERE! we found coal ๐Ÿ™‚ alright- let’s just be careful with the lava (o_O) there it is. there’s coal. *ping!* yesss (✯◡✯) we’re gonna LIVE! what is this green bar? i’m getting the coal, right? goddamn, where- how deep does this go? okay, we have coal! which, of course, means we can make- a torch ๐Ÿ™‚ alright, let’s be careful here with the lava. can we build a bridge over the lava? it’s crossing it. we’re going to get d i a m o n d bois that’s the goal of this series is it hard to get diamonds? i don’t really remember… okay… we’re going deeper… i hear something… do i have a sword? i do… i have a sword and i’m not afraid to use it, goddamnit (メ` ロ ´) why do i- *herobrine music* AHHHH- what wAS THAT why can i hEAR THEM aHHHHH what- what is down there??? oh mY gOd, what is- aHHHH what is HAPPENING down there??? there’s a chest down there :0 *gasp* there’s a chEST DOWN THERE i gotta gET THE CHEST we just gotta have a plan b- alright, what’s the plan b then? let’s gO BROS AHHHHHH nO NO NO NO I CHANGE MY MIND I DIDN’T THINK THERE WERE SO MANY PEOPLE- aHHHH fuUcCk nO *inhale* HHHHH *inhale* *mating call* awww look how cozy they have it over there loOk aT tHaT god- *creeper* aHHHHHHHH *exhausted exhale* i’ll get my stuff back. i’ll get revenge. Those skeletons are gonna freAKING pay for what they did to me and my father. ushten flabben what is that f..king sound- aHHHHHH god f..kin DAMMIT you’re diSGUSTING are there skeletons everywHERE? AHHHHHHH why is the sun noT HELPING?? oH LoOk, there’s so much stuff! ๐Ÿ˜€ AHH- alright, alright, i’ve had enough i’ve had enough, i’ve had enough, i’ve had en- did u fCKINTDHJ horses, dO SOMETHING. god- dude, alright i’m digging a hole. i’m digging a hole. i’m done with this- you can’t hurt me in my hole! YoU CAn’T HurT ME in My HOLE!! you cAN’T HURT ME- godfu- *cries* and so, the journey begins for felix ke-jel-berg after returning years from minecraft, to reclaim what was once his there’s a fREAKING WATER POOL alright, i’ll- i’ll find that- theres a freaking chicken! whaT uP chIken(proceeds to attack it with a sapling) Cool, man. thats awesome. so much has changed ๐Ÿ™ so much has- changed. *giggles* here it is. here it is. i’ll find them. and i’ll kill them. those bastards will pay for what they did to me… they humiliated me… but this time i come back, and i come back s t r o n g stronger than i ever was, stronger that my body ever thought i could be. i’ll kill all of them the sword, goddamnit, give it to me! how do i build armor?? maybe i should build AN armor first. yeah yeah- i’ll get armor. i’m not strong enough yet, but i’m strong enough to know my limits>:) but i got an egg from the- chicken. i need coal, lots of it. now we’ll build the furnace; that’s right. did i build it, or what? we can make- eYEroN which we make from- eYeron oUre. and- chArcoAL. what is this then? that’s just coal -.- well then how do you make CHARcoal? from lava bucket? what? JUNGLEwood; now what the- this is so coMPLICATED oh- you can use different things. oh, okay. ‘kay ‘kay ‘kay, I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I’m a genius. I know how to play games for kids. minE. I’m gonna be SO goddamn strong- alright, that’s all I got. that’s right. and i-it’s making it! it’s making it! ๐Ÿ™‚ it’s smelting. it’s smelting! it’s smelting! it’s working! yatta! (x3) (i did it!) iron. I did an iron. it’s no big deal. let’s put some more on there. Oh heck yea! Aw heck yeah! we can do trapdoors! shears! what is that? i wanna make armor! oh god, we need so much, dude! do i look like i’m rich or something? aw dude, we need way more. alright, i can make the helmet. dude, i got a freaking helmet. i got a freaking helmet, guys this is epic. can you guys be quiet? alright, i’m just gonna farm around them. goddamnit, it looks like I’m getting hungry. I’ll have to- I’m actually playing Minecraft guys; it’s happening. *giggles* vegetarians, please look away. for what I must doooo- *daaah–! I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. AHHHHH- I need food! I need FOOD! STOP! STOOOP! come bACK HERE! ugh ugh *exhales* okay, from now on, from NOW on, I’m veggie. okay? I’m veggie, bros. Don’t worry, I’m vegan. ahh! fckin– ah! I’m lost! Fight me now, fight me now. these guys SUCK. okay, I killed one. I killed one. What do I get? A bow, and an arrow. oh- you snake. I heard you. You can’t hang with us. You can’t hang with us. Go away! goddamnit, they suck. I can make a smithing table? What is all this? What do I do on this? Nothing, apparently. great. (;¬_¬) Okay- I can make an iron sword. That should be good, right? and i’ll make an iron pickaxe. I got my pickaxe iron, baby! Big moment! ‘You just thought I couldn’t do it, eh?’ oh, I’m sorry. Do I have iron boots? That’s goddamn right, I have. look, I’m freaking pimping, dude! yes, more iron! *gasp* youuu… killed… muFASA! Go away! oh, god, there’s so many, dude. ooo… look at that. now who’s a wittle bitc- I’m gonna get the fking skeletons from before. I don’t care how long it takes (to) me, i’m gonna have my goddamn revenge! I have so much iron dude, I have so much iron. you guys don’t understand. oh, no no no no. no no no. this is bad. alright, ah! ah, god- I gotta eat, I gotta eat, I gotta eat. oh god, not LIKE THIS! *aggressively eats* EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT okay, okay. okay okay. i’m ready. fCK YOU! *intense music continues* yeAH! you want some? you wANT SOME? come gET SOME! yEAH!!1! i know how to play minecraft… i’ve played minecraft before. dude, we went SO far down. bottom of the earth, dude. and it’s still bright out. nuts, dude. okay, i may have gotten a little side-tracked for like, an hour. ..or two. i’m gonna find my way back. do i know which direction to go? no. no, i don’t. oh, i’ve definitely been here, come on. right, here’s where i was. running from the skeletons. if there’s WATER here, then we’re golden. oh my god, yES! i think i found it, i- oh my god! this is where i started i think this is it, this is literally it! *gasp* it was down thERe… oHHh… alright, let’s build fking house. we’re gonna build a fking house. *the sims 5* oh, we gotta hurry up bois, it’s getting dark bois. how do i build a door? *the sims 6* door. p e r f e c t. just need you guys- it’s a fking tiny zombie, dude! just need one more lamb. nO. alright, what did i say?>:( just need it for the bed. I just need it for the bed. what the hell is that? *whoosh* *glass BreAk* what the hELL are you doing? *glass BreAk* aH! leave me aLONE! fking crazy people in this game. that’s right, you can’t enter my house. Leave me ALone! yeah, that’s right. MY house. now, i’m gonna make a bed. and you can’t sleep with me. yeah, that’s right. my house is awesome, dude. there are mon- goDDAMNIT. can yoU gEt aWaY? you’re gonna die. you’re gONNA DIE! you wANT SOME POTIONS? i’m gonna sell your a$$. okay. now- what do you drop? nothing of value. alright, let’s go to bed. sweet dreams. *mob* oH god. okay. this is it. we’re heading out to reclaim what was ours. i think it was here, somewhere. don’t worry, i’ll find it. *spook* what does that mean? i don’t- i didn’t remember because i took away the lava, right? so it got all dark, and i’m like, “oh, i don’t remember anything cuz it’s so dark.” they better be down there. oh, they better be r e a d y. i see them… lil’ fckers. *inhale* i’m scared. woAH! aHHH! AHHH! yES! got ’em! wHO’S NEXT? WHO’S NEXT?? oh god, there’s so many. got one. oh my god, this is the most I N T E N S E GAMEPLAY! *mating call* yEH! (x2) oHhHHH i’M tHE KING! iM THE KING! what’s in your che- oHH look who’s rich hUh? you got a whole collection! you got bread? MY BREAD. you got- sAEDDLE? gUNPOWDER? :0 my god… pumpkin seeds, dude. i’m gonna slay those pumpkin seeds up my butt, b i t c h. i can make that- aHHHH! whERE DID YOU COME FROM? s t o p. thi-this SPAWNS them. it’s a devil! ohhh, it’s over. (x2) b U C K E T? *gasp* enchanted bOOK! *gasp* stRINGS! i can make an a r r o w. golden- golden aPPLE??? gOLDEN APPLE. okeh (x4) let’s go (x3) let’s not be greedy. oh god- there’s mORE- aHH! yeHH sON. don’t even SCRATCH me, dude. didn’t even scratch me, bruh. alright, what happens if you dig deeper than this? o.O we gotta find diamond bruh. (x2) *realizashun* uH-OH. UH-OH. goddamn, dude. that’s GOLD, not diamond. come on.>:( oh- we hit rock bottom. *chuckles* goddamNIT. aHH. jesUs. *gasp* i fOUND IT! I FOUND IT! *gasping intensifies* mOM! it was in the water :0 (jaws plot) d i A m o N D ! nO! coME BACK! (x2) what do i drop?? i have too many precious items. i guess i’ll have to drop- the s u g a r. dude, i got fucking diamond. eat my a s s. alright- we ain’t done. diamOND! oH yeH. (x2) oh yeah, diamOnd>:D alright, how the fk do i get out of here. i’m just gonna have to dig out. the way my forefathers used to do it. dude, i can make a diamond pickaxe rigHT AWAY? *gasp* oHHHHH! i got a diamond pickAXE oH- it’s so FAST! oH! (x4) i’m gonna be out of here in no time, baby. yES. *gasp* yEHHHHHH. it’s fine back home. dude- i dug like a- *moo* shut up, cows. is that horse at there e v e r y time? there’s our BEAUTIFUL home. my god. never been so happy to see you. (a mood) we should be able to make an arrow- oh! we can make a boat! tnt. we can make tnt. what’s that? gunpowder. i HAVE gunpowder. i cANNOT stop playing. i have a problem. how you doing there, buddy? how’s it going? no. (watch his mouth) no- how do i- make it, b00m? how do i make it b00m? how do i blow it? *laughs* goddamnit! i wanna blow up the house! ๐Ÿ™ okay– i think i’m gonna *giggle* end that episode there. smash like if you want more, and i’ll see you guys n e x t time. bYee brofi- *cuts it off* ๐Ÿ™ whAt? you never played tuber simulator. pfFFFSSHHhhHh *green eyes* you… know it’s fun, right? i’m not supposed to give my opinion. but, give it a try, and then you can tell me if it’s good or not. not convinced yet? okaY. i’ll cut you a deal. the game is available for f r e e. and THAT’S a great price! hope u enjoyed the video! bye ๐Ÿ™‚

    I found an EPIC treassure in Minecraft  – Part 6
    Articles, Blog

    I found an EPIC treassure in Minecraft – Part 6

    August 18, 2019


    Aye-o! Good morning gamers. It’s Minecraft Day. Heck yeah, my favorite day! I love Minecraft I am legit addicted to this game I am having so much fun Look at this! Look at my farm, it’s epic. And look at my- oh my God. I Feel like this probably goes against some rules and regulations. All right, who’s hungry? Who’s hungry? There you go. There you go Have it all Eat as much as you can ( subtitle by *I am HeRe *in description at bottom) Now the reason I did this is because we actually need to start murdering them because we’re going- Agh god dammit. Alright, I’m just gonna kill I’m sorry, PETA look away! Ah I need your meat. I’m sorry, they’re escaping! Stop them! Oh God What have I done? Oh God damn it~ *dies inside* Okay, al-all right the children gets to- WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BOAT?! Ok that’s awesome, you guys can stay in the boat, that’s- *happy noises* Oh, you’re friends with Jørgan, You can stay. (r.i.p Jørgan) Why do I even have a farm, this is too- Look at all the children! Everyone: YoU wOuLdN’t KiLl A cHiLd FeLiX Felix: NO I WOULDN’T! (he’s lying) Oh my GOoOod Alright, ok. It’s- mmhm (No! Jørgan!) O- Jørgan! Jørgan! Sorry x4 (you better be) Alright, the kids get to live I’m that gracious, but I do need their meat because today we are going on epic Adventure That’s right everyone. We have these treasure maps and we’re gonna go and find Where it is it looks like it’s probably pretty goddamn far Epic! That is the cutest thing I have ever seen in my entire life oh yeah I made some ehh Improvement to the house as well. Got this new carpet got this new terrace. It’s pretty epic It’s whatever Oh yeah and these bad guys attacked me. So I put their banner on our epic Tree of Life Okay, Jørgan has to stay on this adventure. Actually, maybe I should bring him. Oh god, it’s too scary. so we are the tiny dot on the map. That’s so far dude. Is this one mirror? Oh, look, it- it- is it changing? it is changing. Oh god. This is so complicated, dude it is changing! Oh god. This is so complicated, dude All right. We’ll get Jørgan for this one. All right, Jørgan, let’s ride So we have to ride… this direction? Question mark? hey Jørgan’s friend. Hello. Jørgan’s friend. This is epic Oh God, we’re gonna need a boat, aren’t we? Uhh… or maybe not. so all the people in this village disappeared it- I don’t know why. it’s not like I was trying to blow up their house or anything (suspicious 🤔) But, turtle is still here! Hello, turtle and stone person(iron golem you pleb) is still here. Hello stone person So now, wait this is- now we’re going south How’d it go in on the map? Surely, this should be the way. or is it this way? Okay, wait, so… we need to go west we need to go this way *scared noises* Gee-Bali-Ba! Ugh, god damMIT! Yeah, it’s this way. No, it’s not *confused noises* Okay this way I don’t know how this works. Okay? I’ve never done this. I’m a gamer. It’s old gamer intuition That’s all I got. I haven’t shown everything I’ve been doing I’ve been playing offline for hours and hours, and I’m so hooked on minecraft But I haven’t done any adventure So I’m excited now to go on epic- Okay this is working, I think… no we’re just going up again, aren’t we? What about this way? I think we might have to get a boat. I don’t like this Will you be a good boy? (he is a good boy) Uh, Jørgan we’re gonna, we’re gonna do it like this Stay… (moves) Oh god, Stay (still moves) Jørgan *frustrated noises* Jørgan How did I not bring a shovel, to a goddamn treasure hunt map hunting thing this is what I get for- for forgetting EVERYTHING! Jørgan stop. wandering. off. My. god. I’ve already lost your brother now down the hole you go just be a good boy and stay in the hole here, have a flower don’t look at me like that. I’m sorry. I have to, that’s right- Woah, there’s another City there! *gasps* There’s another city! all right, Jørgan. Don’t worry. I know what I’m doing. Oh, yeah. *more scared noises My boat, where’d my Boat go? There you are. Awww, I feel bad for Jørgan. *evil laughter* Why do I care? (you sick frick) Maybe we can trade with these people. Maybe this city is less lousy than the other one. The city is being under attack Alright, then I won’t go then. okay, so now it would make sense that we just need to go in this direction At least if you ask me is it possible that the treasure is just underwater? I think that might be a yes (no) There’s wh- there’s light under the water. Is that Santa Claus? I can’t see I don’t have my glasses Oh my god, there’s so many citIES! *gasp* Woah! The map! the map is appearing! すげい…what is this? It’s a ship in the sand? question mark? Okay. Let’s remember where we parked our boat Is there a treasure map in here? I think I need dark wood. I don’t remember why I needed dark wood, but I think I do Nothing’s gonna stop me from getting this treasure. Oh god, I think it’s by the city Well, that’s perfect I’ll just place torches so I can remember how to- *even more scared noises* It’s sand zombies (Husks you noob) And so he ventured deep in the night This is just like aladdin. Am I right? (no you’re not) Oh God damn it I think I need the boat *skrattar du förlorar du* Or do I? *weird noises* I dOn’T hAvE mY gLaSsEs I’m PrAcTiCaLlY bLiNd wOw WhAt’S tHat? Ok we need to cross 360! Yeeaahh… Okay . Oh damn, I swim faster underwater Okay, we’re going- we’re getting close gamers. woah what is that? *gasps* that’s my other nether portal what? (you never played tuber simulator?) that’s crazy What- *even more scared noises* Hey He’s got a golden armor! stop! stop. stupid baby, I- I will kill a child I don’t care (told you he was lying) God these ones are… so wh- *gasps* Wow he rich boy Hypebeast (XD) Okay, alright gamers, we’re gonna find this treasure if it’s the last thing I’ll ever do so I see my direction right, where I’m facing. It’s kind hard to… This is faced away from it Alright and this is face towards it. Let’s see how my orientation skills Will pan out. that’s what I wanted to do. Ok should be… somewhere. Yeah, no problem, right? How in the gods earth am I gonna find this? GAMING WEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!! Yeah yeah yeah OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH Looks like Sun is almost up gamers. Oh, that’s me. When gaming week is over Gaming week for life. *happy noises* Alright, so I need a lot of dirt. Oh look at me I got arrows inside me. I need a lot of dirt So we can make an air bubble thing God what if we find Gucci pants in the treasure that would be so awesome How do you make an air bubble. listen I don’t have time for boat people Go back to the swamp shrek. Oh And the music kicks in at the perfect time and you’re having an epic adventure looking for minecraft Okay, so I don’t know if this is the most effective way to do it Knowing myself most no, No it isn’t why is there no scuba equipment- in minecraft? (good question) They had nine years to add it get out of my way What an irony to dig up treasure map we have to build That’s called a paradox my minecraft children It actually makes it easier with sand cuz then I can just drop them drop them faster minecraft I ain’t got time notch I feel like this is the time where in my audience this is cringing at me Like what is he doing it? (what ARE you doing?) Listen, I don’t know Okay, I’m not pretending that I know all I do know is like subscribe for more epic minecraft. Okay, come on Straight down here should do it. Okay. Let’s go gamers Hopefully we don’t drown So, how do I know how deep it goes oh I’m drowning. I’m drowning. I’m drowning gamers. If I didn’t could if I didn’t oh god, I’m opposite drowning. Can I assume in at least? smelly Must be here somewhere Maybe just dig deeper Question mark my name is Jeff. Like where is it? Where is it? God? Dammit. Jurgen is waiting for me He’s gonna be so pissed dude Maybe I can make an airlock underneath the water and I will make it easier for me to just mine Alright dolphin I don’t have time for you My being pranked is it a thing? Maybe it’s like has to be surface level and I’m just digging super deep It’s harder to find these math and diamonds Okay, I Give up. I’m starting to think there was no treasure. Oh my god, but at least we had fine I’ll get them at the llamas are gone. Alright, well, at least we can explore what we were gonna do last episode. Whoa It’s like a pyramid That’s awesome. Can I go what in the world is that this place makes zero sense? Whoa, look at these, This time No Traps Okay, here we go gamers. No stepping on trapssssss Ok (my name is eatnoodls and I’m getting tired of subtittling this so please enjoy the rest of google’s auto-translate.) Gamer learned from my mistakes diamonds. Oh my god Man I run horse armor. Your again is gonna be so happy. Oh my craft Oh *le inhale* OOOOOOOOO!! HOO HOO! This is better than any treasure the trip was worth it after all Oh God Felix, maybe you shouldn’t be greedy You literally cannot carry anything else. Okay gamers. Let’s go. What if we yergon starved to death in the hole? *giggly boi* Please please be in the hole. Please be in. Oh my god. You’re in the hole yorgan! *happyness noises* Yeah! it worked! Did you have a good time? uh, dude, i got a carrot eat the carrot *eat it yorgan goddangit* how do i give him the carrot? (through its mouth, felix) All right, cool. Well anyway, I have a present for you. oh, My god, oh my god! you look so good yorgan! *wheeze 100* you dont mind if i have the carrot, do you? (he sat in a hole for a day felix, he needs the carrot) thank you whaddup cows! oh my god what am i gonna do about you gu- i dident realize they would get so many! *a swedish giant cannot engrish* Alright, I’m making a diamond pickaxe, cause were gonna go on epic GamInG- *svedish laugh* adventure its crazy how much time you can spend in this game, seriously (no not that serious poods) alright im workin’ on the power rails guys (WhAt?!) ples dont judge me so im gonna get some more nether sh- *family freindly stuff right here* i forgot what its called we need to mine more of deez (nuts) Which is always the most fun…ever aighpi7g2q308hn so we have obsidian, (english?) So I want to see what it’s like, if youuu head out in the other direction, Because I have leather I have epic stuff to trade with the villagers! (dont trade yorgan) *orgasm ghast* Can I kill that thing? I don’t have an arrow. All right time to make a bridge *spoopy scared felix sounds* ahh godamnit! 🅾 🅰 EGHHGHGHGHHGH (seriously the fuc?) *more dolan dark sounds* *pewdiepie breathing ASMR* Whoa, what is that? What is that it like a frog? (its slippy) is it dangerous? (no breh, its slippy!) Hello, let me be your friend its so cute! oh God it’s coming towards me S A F E D I S T A N C E 𝙎 𝘼 𝙁 𝙀 𝘿 𝙄 𝙎 𝙏 𝘼 𝙉 𝘾 𝙀 alright im gonna end this mans whole career im gonna kill it. it is decided yorgan, you will not belive this Sorry, you can’t commit, isent 100% safe i never done this (swedish accent comes through) okay… were gonna kill the giant frog thing (nu dont kill slippy :O) Maybe he just wants to hug me, (big time tommy voice) IM NOT GONNA FIIND OUT hello? Where’d he go? aw, i wanted to kill it! whoawhoawhoawhoa lookadat! whoa its so big! 🅾 there it is! 🅰🅰🅰 🅹🅴🅴🆂🆄🆂!!! Alright, ok! alright okay! itsa battol! the battol begins! I CANT SHOOT! 𝔴𝔥𝔬𝔞 Ah f- (pure bass sound effect.mp4) ah f- (purebasssoundeffect.mp4x2) this is bad! UUU its alright, i brought- dont panick! i brought water bucket! iT Ḏ̶̔̓͆̄̃̑O̶̧̡͎̦̝̎È̸̪̖͘͝S̶̳̉Ę̷̩̪̯͎͖͛̾͋̊͠N̷̗̫̠̱̖̜̻̘̾̓͑͠T̸̡̺̬̱͕͔̝̬̠͌̔͜ ̸̢̛͍͈̳̗͉͎̤̝̈́̓̽̈́̎͌̚͜͝W̸̘̙͓͊̽̌̓̾̓́̇͝ͅƠ̴̮̫̮̪̝̭̗̈̽̉͐̎͜Ȍ̵͖͓̩͔͎͉͓̈́̒̿͐͊̽͆̉Ơ̷̢͇̗̣̈́̌̋̎́Ṙ̶̼͕̰̘̗R̵̲͔̱̺̼̭̦̠̳̂͊͆͛̆̎̾̚͘͜Ķ̷͉͍̭͓̹͓͚͕̋̈́͒̀̇͠ i brought plenty of food, im readyyyy im may ha- you may have gotten the upper hand, mister. Quick scope Quick scope x2 Quick scope x3 🅾🅾🅾 hit them! 🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾🅾 *childish giggles* u ded! *inhale* you ded! AAA That was easy, dude easy mode! you see that pig?! (no) aight, im gonna find that demon frog now have i mined those? I think I have, 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕤𝕖? O F****** ass (play ass on the app store, it might be better than tuber simulator) ahh its over ahh its over x2 not like this! *orgasam x2* NO! yorgan, you will not belive what just happened You be quiet! (PETA has joined the chat) oh god i hit my sheep! (ANIMAL ABOOS) ive sunken so low- yeah i lost everything thats epic gamer rage quit I’m so sick of dying. THIS IS FOR YORGAN 🅰 *orgasm x3* you can run but you can hide! id feel bad if yorgan wasent DED there needs to be suffering in this world (jesus christ, felix) So…. UH Apparently one block in in the nether realm is eight blocks in the other realm, so if i walk like DIS i Open up opportunityyyy now hopefully, all my stuff isent gone i count on maybe some of my stuff Maybe just not all of my stuff, trying to have a PMA over here, okay? (positive mental anus) back to level fouurrrr thats- O MY GOD *orgasm x4* HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *immense inhale* EYUS! oh i got my diamondPickaxeBack oh my god! i ha- you know i had a feeling so many of you have sai- told me that- you can enter a co- like a text and then you wont lose your stuff if you die, Text and then you won’t lose your stuff if you die, but I feel like that beats the purpose. Alright, we’re doing it survival I’m a pro player. Okay? Another thing I read is apparently if I mine those then I can breathe on the water Question mark it’s the hottest day in UK. I have two lights headed on my face So the green screen will work. Why am I torturing myself? Okay. Another thing you guys told me was to bring up the brightness Oh my god, that is so much nicer See I listened to you guys to buy do you tell me to do all these awful things instead? We had a trust and that trust is broken forever. Whoa. What is this? Cirie’s saying Fifi feast did I just try to mine with a melon? Oh my god, you can I’m mining with a melon brush. I keep mellow meaning. Alright, let’s build our little Portal over here. One two, this will literally be the furthest we’ve ever gone. I’m actually kind of scared plus We’re really low down Oh dog, what’s gonna happen? Dude? Look how long it’s taking. All right gamers I am all gamed out smash like subscribe for more minecraft and I see you guys next episode W H A T ? ! YOU NEVER PLAYED TOOBER SIMULOOTOOR?! *dies inside a little* You know, it’s fun, right? im not supposed to give my opinion, but give it a try, and THEN you can tell me if its good or not. I’ll cut you a deal the game is available for free and that’s a great price

    Dax Shepard Used Twitter to Rent a Pontoon Boatย in Texas
    Articles, Blog

    Dax Shepard Used Twitter to Rent a Pontoon Boatย in Texas

    August 17, 2019


    -You did a live podcast
    in Austin. -Yes, yes, yes, yes. -And you went down there
    with the family? Did the whole family go?
    -Yes. I love Austin. I think it’s my second favorite
    city in the country. Have you been down there?
    -It’s great. [ Cheers and applause ]
    -Yeah, oh, I love it. It’s liberal hillbillies.
    So it’s… -Yeah.
    -…a bull’s-eye for me. -It’s right up your alley.
    -Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guys in trucks,
    but they also want to get the emissions down
    on those trucks, you know? -Yeah.
    [ Laughter ] But we Airbnb’d a house on —
    on Lake Austin. And priority number one for me
    was a pontoon boat so we could go explore the lake. Well, they don’t rent
    pontoon boats there for any extended period of time. So I thought, “Well, a lot of
    people follow me on Twitter. I’ll just tweet,
    ‘Hey, does anyone got a pontoon boat
    they want to rent me? I’ll pay top dollar.
    Let’s party.'” I get a response.
    This guy goes, “Hey, man, I love taking care of
    people when they come to Austin. I’ll get you sorted.” And I’m like, “Oh, wow.”
    We exchange e-mails. -Great.
    -This is so exciting. We get down there.
    I start talking to the guy. “Yes, I’ll be over around noon.
    I pick up the boat at 8:00.” I’m like, “You pick up the boat
    at 8:00? From where?” Anyways, he comes over. I notice very quickly this is
    a brand-new pontoon boat. -Uh-huh.
    -It is three hours old. -Okay.
    -I start panicking, like, “Oh, no, what has
    this nice human being done? Have they gone and bought me
    a pontoon boat?” I just immediately was like —
    the ethics were real rough. -Yeah.
    -Because I realize I should have never
    put that out there to Twitter. Anyways, he gets there,
    and he says, “Yeah, you know, I was looking
    at my other boat today. Doesn’t run that well. Took it in to see
    what they’d give me for it. They traded me straight up
    for the pontoon. Now I got
    a brand new-pontoon boat. This is great.” Meanwhile, all the women there are so distracted
    by what a 10 this guy is. -Oh, he’s — Okay.
    -He’s gorgeous. [ Laughter ] He also brought a paddleboard to get himself
    back to his house. And all the women
    that were in our group stood on the dock and watched
    him paddle for 25 minutes. [ Light laughter ]
    Just staring. I Google the guy. Was so relieved. His name is Huston Street, and he was
    a professional baseball player. -Gotcha.
    -He’s loaded! Everything’s good! [ Laughter ]
    -Okay, good. -Yeah. I was real nervous
    someone, like, second-mortgaged to — to make Princess Anna
    happy on her vacation, but we’re all good.
    Everything’s good. He’s still enjoying the boat
    today. -Okay, good.
    -I watched his Instagram photos. -All right. Thank God.
    -Thank you, Huston. -Yes, bullet dodged.
    -Yeah. -And congrats on the show
    and the podcast. And thanks so much
    for being here. -Thank you.
    -It’s always great to see you. Dax Shepard, everybody.
    [ Cheers and applause ]

    I Think I’ve Got This With Chip Chapley – Episode 1 “Fish Facts”
    Articles, Blog

    I Think I’ve Got This With Chip Chapley – Episode 1 “Fish Facts”

    August 16, 2019


    [Music] science history moustaches due to recent litigation I’ve been banned from the news that’s why I’m going to the Internet I’ll be answering your comments and questions here on I think I’ve got this with me chip chap Lee hello the Internet I’m chip chap Lee and I think I’ve got this tonight we begin with you your questions and me doing a pretty good job of answering them our first question is in the category of science subcategory fish Elroy Yanni asks if we can’t see the air does that mean fish can’t see the water to answer this question I’ve brought in world-renowned marine biologist dr. dad evolve Chernobyl Stan Thank You chip you see the fish doctor I hate to interrupt but I think I’ve got this you see a fish’s eyes are vestigial which means they don’t actually work they’re just for show and to keep people from freaking out when they talk to a fish um no most fish can see quite it’s like a dog’s tail or those nubbins on a giraffe’s head they don’t serve any purpose but if they weren’t there you’d be like oh sick gross get that giraffe out of my face on to our next question Elite replies asks why do dads leave their sons or daughters when they are little because this happened to me well elite replace your dad left for two very simple reasons one because as your name seems to imply you think yelling racial slurs while playing video games on YouTube is a viable career option and two because you never bothered to learn the difference between their there and their dumb dumb it’s your fault and you’re the reason daddy left next up potato King asks is the Illuminati real well no boo a biology question riri elder god of nerd asks where is peace toward the balls riri it’s stored in the balls well one of the balls the other one contains a viscous black ink that the man can eject towards predators when he feels threatened and our final question comes from someone whose screen name is George Sanderson which means his real name is probably weed boner make Hitler 420 and he asks mr. Chappel e if you eat yourself will you be twice as big or just disappear I think I’ve got this will you get twice as big or just disappear what happened you’d take a take a bite and that where’s that where’s that bite go ago yeah well then what happened oh god what happens where what happens you have to eat half of you what happens eat more than half it can you eat your own mouth Oh God leave your questions for the next episode of I think I’ve got this with chip chat lead in the comments below want more chip chapli I know I do click on these videos to watch me chip chapli in news to me with me chip Shepley yeah that’s me